TBD

I would to be a Gorgon! My favorite mythology monster! How freaking cool would it be to have venomous snakes as hair?? And turning people you don’t like into stone would be great.

Well.. this one was complicated. I “dated” this girl because I trying to make myself feel better after getting rejected by another girl I used to like. Also hoping if it would make my crush jealous. I did eventually broke up with that girl. I felt bad though, if I could ever go back, I want to apologize to her personally. But in a term of real relationship? none.

Sucks that the liquor store where I work is closing… shamed. But I guess that’s also good for me too.

Fear of trusting people and regrets. I grown to not trust people as they tends to disappoint me. I fear regrets for not loving or reaching out enough due to trust issues and not building connection with people. Fearing it may be too late if the people I care has gone away before I could even connect with them. That’s my fear.

Left: phone and switchblade because I’m left handed. My right pocket is wallet, earphone, pack of cigarette and a match. earphone. As for my back pocket bunch of receipts because I just stuff em right in the back.

Two years ago we have to excavate due to large fire breakout close to the area we live in. So the first thing I thought what to bring is all my electronics like laptops and phone because all my important work and file is saved there. And last my wallet and my guitar. The rest of the stuff I didn’t bother thinking twice on bringing or looking back. Luckily the fire didn’t reach our house but i know what my main priority would be to bring in the future if something did happened.

Today news is indeed sad but also a day to remember Michael Gambon who passed away. He was one of the legendary actor played no other has Dumbledore himself. https://www.cnn.com/2023/09/28/entertainment/michael-gambon-death-scli-intl/index.html He was a good person to both his family and fans, and will always be remembered as our most beloved Headmaster of Hogwarts. I literally cried because of course Harry Potter is the core of my childhood and happiness. I remember how “everything will be alright” when Dumbledore is here. If I were to describe “Hogwarts legacy” it would be Michael Gambon. Thank you for everything and rest well. You will always be our greatest headmaster.

I only follow if we shared the same goal and standards. If not, I don’t like authority. I will lead if or when I’m needed or need to be- to helps other to achieve a shared goal and for the better outcome, whatever it might be. But I don’t strongly believe in “all for one” leadership. I like having a system where everyone’s responsibility and roles are aligned towards contribution rather having to depend on a leader to contribute. A head cannot function without a body, as just a body cannot function without a head.

Spider man across the spider verse: yeeeh…. Not a fan of this movie and I don’t really see the hype on it. Too much annoying angst going on that just seems to be dragging for too long and not getting to the main point. The ending left a cliffhanger for the 3rd movie but I feel they drag the plot that purpose for that. Which was unnecessary. The plot is nothing original and a huge clusterfuck. 4/10

I hated school- unfortunately my school was kinda located nowhere so even if I wanted to play hooky, there isn’t much to go around by. So I just have to stay in school. However I didn’t bother paying anything to classes and just draw most of the time. My High school have a work program where we are expected to work at a job place once a week, I skipped two work days just to get around downtown. Unfortunately the second time I got found out and got suspended. Overall I don’t really have motivation to attend classes even in college. It will take a lot effort for me to stay motivated in school- so it’s no wonder my teachers had a hard time with me.

I’m attracted to bold, strong, and loud type of fashion from a woman- of course some bit of modesty and class is a bonus. Likewise, personality, she can be a lady but also robust.

Hm which will gain me the greatest advantage in life? Yellow to read minds to gain favors or just simply have the people ‘love’ you to gain favors? I suppose I will choose pink because less work since I could just snapped my finger and the world will fall for me. As I would say, ‘you’re only worth my love if you learned to hate me.’

I was going through a heartbreak then, now I know better.- “Boy number two there is someone for you Just forget her and walk away Don't be fooled Be careful which one that you choose Second boys will be first choice to Somebody better than you.”

Depends what kind of a murder I am. Serial killer these days probably unlikely since my style isn’t like spontaneous and consistent. But murder in general I possibly can(?)- watched a lot of crimes documentary and mysteries and even writing my own and studied how forensic works to manipulate my scene of the murder- I might be able to. Although it might take like months of planning and preparation for me to create a foolproof murder. Let alone some time to study the laws in case I’m caught. Save my lawyer the work and possibly get around it to gain a lighter sentence. But I’m too lazy and it might take up too much work to use my brain cells. Hence why I can’t be a serial killer. BUT I’m not planning to murder anyone… yet.

I don’t get crushes towards celebrities; I would say they’re either handsome or beautiful as a compliment but hardly a crush. Until of course Joey Brooks. He isn’t that well known let alone don’t play a lot and very private. But something about him I’m drawn by him like no other celebrity. Still thinking about him once in a while. I sometime daydream about how one day meeting him. And maybe spend one day with him on a date. That would be nice actually. And I myself wouldn’t date a guy but him, he’s exceptional. It might be because I dreamt about him four time which never happens to any celebrities I know. So that might have dictated most of my feelings for him despite already liking him in movie I watched. I’m embarrassed to share this, so yes here’s my “secret not secret anymore” celebrity crush.

We have two dogs, but this puppy even though he’s one year old, is my baby. He brings me so much comfort and joy, I love him so much as my own. His name is Willy!

I don’t have the needs to ask anyone from the past but I would like to ask this question for my parent. “was everything in this family and the day my dad takes my mom’s hand to marry her was really love?” Don’t get me wrong, it not like I don’t see what they try to do as a parent but it’s hard to tell the difference between love or no love lost. I don’t care love can’t be given easily but I just want an honest “yes or no” answer.

-I believe most of us could relate this but most of the time, people misunderstand what I feel, want and needs- seeing it as a way like I’m “attacking” them or something. I hate being gaslighted. -Mistook my kindness for thinking I’m interested in them or think that I’m stupid enough to be taken advantage off. First, I’m not stupid, I might be just pretending that I care so you will be at my debt. Second, what makes you think receiving kindness from me tells you that I want to sleep with you? (Last part was a bit exaggerated but you get the idea) People are so primitive these days.

No since such topic like this never bought up, thankfully. And even so, I wouldn’t care. To fuck someone as if you won a lottery is like the dumbest and pettiest shit ever. I guess that what people do because of what? low esteem and insecurities? Copium? whatever reasons these sorts of people have- the fact that they needs to find some hoes to fuck says enough.

I think these days people are abusing it to cancel culture and promoting false statements to justify their beliefs and hate. Overall I don’t care what you have to say- but don’t come on the stage without preparing a materials. Because at this point, I rather have a clown who, as part of the act knows what he’s gonna say or do to come up to the front and give me a speech.

I do sometime hate having inconsistent moods without a reason: it would just happen.- one day I’m fine or just normal and the next, my mood will go unhinged and I’d actually like it to be. But by the time it got “turned” off it leaves me feeling bad. It would be nice to keep my mood consistent. “So most of the times I would say I'm a pretty bright person, uh Easy to get along with, you know? And most of the times, I do smile a lot, I reckon But then you know, sometimes I'm, hmm, well Sometimes I'm I'm better left alone Sometimes I'm I'm waiting for you to go Sometimes I'm Just hoping that you would know Sometimes I'm I'm wondering, how did I get this Gun to my head in the first place? I'm doing just fine I got myself in this rat race Who cares about the time? I'm breaking down to my old ways Just falling out of line I smile and tell you I'm okay No, no, really“- DPR

Can’t get into animation series these days, but Hazbin Hotel and Helluva is my top favorite right now.

I have going on and off with my mood swing lately idk. But today not very good, like being piss or something.

30%~50% depending on the subject. History, Lab, Writing class, and art is 100%

Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.-Jamie Anderson