Useless Superpowers!

[Fractured 2,684]

A self-defense mechanism that turns your bones into glass upon danger of being hit.

The ability to summon damaging bursts of light...from the back of your eyelids.

Perpetual self-magnetization

The ability to read your own mind

The ability to control your own blood temperature

The ability to go back forwards or backwards in time either a micro-second, or ten billion years.

Empathy powers... the ability to feel the pain of your enemies.

The ability to instantly summon a natural disaster...within a ten meter radius.

Random and spontaneous non-lethal(but just barely!) self-detonation.

[MLPFanatic34 3,234]

The ability to read people's thoughts, the power to turn everything into pudding, being able to fly, but not knowing how to fly, the power to blow up everything, being able to breathe fire, the power to swim underwater, but being afraid of the water.

[NotoriousSMALL 1,984]

The ability to read people's thoughts

reading people's thoughts is a huge advantage. one day you might be sitting there and accidentally tune in to a dude thinking about how hes about to pull out a gun and shoot a place up, and you can stop it before he has the chance to.

--

my useless super power would be "butterman". imagine sandman from spiderman but with butter, and like you can't change your overall mass, so you can't become a gigantic butter monster or something. This is actually an inside joke between my friends when we made up this redneck with the power to turn into butter and has a vicious hatred of margarine. 

Edited January 22, 2015 by NotoriousSMALL

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

That bubbles coming out of the ears was hilarious, i still laugh every time i think of it. 

[Hocus Pocus 636]

What about the ability to give people kidney stones?

[pakicetus 312]

Ability to summon one dollar every day. In 1 million days, I'll be rich (and dead)!

[Starlight Fan 538]

The power to let other people read your mind. How useful!

[LordSwinton 759]

The ability to change channels without a remote.

[RainbowTashie 378]

i think it would be cool to summon random cartoony things like rainclouds when you're peed off or speech bubbles with profanities in when you can't swear freely

[catnet 9,356]

The power to go 24 hours back in time! ...forgetting everything that had happened in those last 24 hours. 

Edited January 22, 2015 by Edwardo_Brony

[Henny Penny Benny 936]

The ability to turn my fists into iron, but they change back if I'm about to punch something.

The ability to remotely control any technology, but only if it's been obsolete for at least twenty years.

The ability to immediately fix venetian blinds.

The ability to grow OR shrink my body to any extreme degree, but only one or the other, and either way it never reverts to its original size.

[Sanctified Absence 126]

The ability to cook a perfect packet of minute rice in 30 seconds.

[ElectricBeat 39]

Tree powers, activate! Asdf movie, anyone? Hehe

Edited January 22, 2015 by ElectricBeat

[MLPFanatic34 3,234]

reading people's thoughts is a huge advantage. one day you might be sitting there and accidentally tune in to a dude thinking about how hes about to pull out a gun and shoot a place up, and you can stop it before he has the chance to.

--

my useless super power would be "butterman". imagine sandman from spiderman but with butter, and like you can't change your overall mass, so you can't become a gigantic butter monster or something. This is actually an inside joke between my friends when we made up this redneck with the power to turn into butter and has a vicious hatred of margarine. 

True, but I mean it could suck as seen in a episode of the Fairly Oddparents when Timmy wishes he could read people's thoughts. He messes around with his friends and passes tests.

[Thuja 3,658]

The ability to make people say random words, useless yet hilarious!

[Yamato 1,348]

The ability to finally, once and for all, distinguish which socks are the left ones and which are the right ones.

Also, the ability to selectively see everything in varying shades of tan.

[Henny Penny Benny 936]

The ability to create new worlds from thought, but they only exist in my mind. So basically just a vivid imagination.

The ability to erase permanent marker.

The ability to make oil heavier than water, but if I try to use it to put out an oil fire, the water becomes flammable.

Seeing English subtitles for people speaking in other languages, but the subtitles are written by someone who doesn't speak English OR the other language.

[ShadowPirateX 600]

- The power to summon chocolate muffins out of thin air.

- The power to summon an all-powerful demon Hell bent on destroying the universe. Without being able to control it.

- The power to destroy the universe, but only upon your death.

[ElectricBeat 39]

Being able to know the exact color code of something. I really like colors and when I create a new OC, I use colors that I like from multiple ponies or objects. As long as they look good together.

[Pinkie-Guy 563]

The ability to instantly know the 65th word of any book I touch.

[Sunny Shimmer 259]

Kite Man with the ability to fly kites. :okiedokielokie:

 

Fork Man with the ability to throw forks like a normal person.

 

Hammer Man with the ability to hit things with a hammer.

 

Stupid Man with the ability to be dumber than you.

 

Glide Man with the ability to glide for 5 minutes.

 

CD Man with the ability to spin CDs on his finger.

 

Guitar Man with the inability to learn more than two notes on guitar.

 

James Dean with the ability to get into accidents while driving really fast.

[Rene 41]

I've made a sorta superhero character. He can turn his nervous system on and off. Unfortunately it affected his brain and now he thinks he's a dog.

I would probably like the ability to read in the dark. Not see in the dark. Read in the dark. I like reading. At least I'd never bump into sings as long as they had words on them...

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

To power to count to infinity, at the rate of one number each second.

[Dewdlz 938]

It's hard to say what a useless super-power would be, some may seem to have no purpose but that's the perfect moment of attack; a surprise. Blowing bubbles maybe?

[Passion 3,484]

Oh snap, I have one myself actually!

 

...

...

...