Lines you'll never catch FIM characters saying.

[CypherHoof 26,479]

Twilight: It's hopeless Rarity, it's just like Zecora said!

Fluttershy: What do you mean, Twi? Back when we first found the Elements, Rarity's tail grew back in about ten seconds.

<Rarity is seen walking towards the Tree of Harmony with one eye twitching and an axe....>

[Luigi 7,868]

Principal Blueblood: So this morning the sign outside the schoolhouse is supposed to read "Late 60's this afternoon." So can one of you three fillies explain why it now reads "I'VE GOT SOME REALLY BIG WOOD!!!!!!!!!"

(The Cutie Mark Crusaders laugh) 

Blueblood: I know you three are responsible!

Applebloom: How would you know? Do you have any proof?

Blueblood: Ever since I was appointed principal of this school, you three fillies have been responsible for one prank after another!!!!!

Scootaloo: Where's your proof though?

Blueblood: I saw you three coming to school one morning with your silly music CD's, then after lunch the intercom went and played silly music for three hours straight!

Sweetie Belle: Do you actually have any proof it was us, or are you just going with your gut?

Edited October 16, 2017 by Little Baby

[Lonk Chase 255]

I just know somebody already posted this but whatever

 

also dis 

 

[Flutterstep 46,311]

Vinyl Scratch: Oh my gosh...I can talk!

Fluttershy: Um...didn't you use that joke before?

Pinkie Pie: Shut up, Fluttershy! They won't remember all that time ago. Now I must kill you.

Applejack: Eyep. It's true. Sorry, sugar cube.

Fluttershy: Naw...please don't.

[Singe 2,109]

Pinkie Pie: This is my cousin Maul Pie.

Maul Pie: Soon we will have our revenge. *Looks at Twilight.* I sense a lot of hidden rage from you. Become my apprentice.

Pinkie Pie: *Pushes Maul Pie away.* Not now Maul.

 

Fluttershy: Look Angel made friends with a bunch of ticks.
 

Spoiler

 

Grubber: You've never mentioned why you left your home.

Shadow Tempest: It's because ponies can't stomach the sight of my broken horn. They'll literally hurl.

Princess Celestia: Please, no more. Put it away. We have nothing left.

 

 

Sapphire Shores: You like big flanks and I can not lie. All you bronies can't deny.

Dr. Fauna: Every day it's Fluttershy with some new animal saying, "Can you fix'em for me? Thanks a lot."

Edited October 21, 2017 by Singe

[Canteen_the_unstable 7,963]

Applejack: welcome to sweet apple acres where the cider sucks and the  apples don't matter

[Luigi 7,868]

(The Mane Six, Shining Armor, Princess Cadance, Starlight Glimmer, Trixie, Thorax, Ember, Celestia, and Luna are sitting at a table in Canterlot having dinner)

Princess Cadance: These are some pretty good burgers, darling.

Shining Armor: Sure are. I saw Twily cooking them on the grill.

Fluttershy: Twilight, what's with the good grub.

Twilight Sparkle: Well perhaps I should let you folks in on a secret. You remember me telling Queen Crysalis that I would make something out of her one day?

Rarity: I think we all remember that, Twilight.

Applejack: (Gasps) Just a motherhoofin' minute, Twilight!

Rainbow Dash: Are you saying you killed Chrysalis, processed her carcass, and served her for DINNER?!?!?!?!?!

Twilight: Well, not exactly.

Princess Cadance: Me and Shining Armor killed Chrysalis just after she attempted to eat Flurry Heart last week.

Shining Armor: We couldn't think of a good way to punish her when she's already dead, so we sent her body to Celestia and Luna.

Celestia: Myself, Luna, and Twilight kinda took it from there.

(Everypony resumes eating)

 

(Based off of the Simpsons Halloween special Nightmare Cafeteria)

[Luigi 7,868]

Rarity: Thank you! Come Again!

[PlzDelete 2,455]

Rainbow Dash: I'm rainbowlishous

[CypherHoof 26,479]

7 minutes ago, PuddingPonyPal said:

Rainbow Dash: I'm rainbowlishous

Rainbow Dash: "Rarity, can't you put some more frills and bows on this thing? I don't want to feel like a boy when I wear it"

Edited October 26, 2017 by CypherHoof

[FizzyGreen 908]

Scootaloo: Hey mommy!

[CypherHoof 26,479]

4 minutes ago, FizzyGreen said:

Scootaloo: Hey mommy!

Would do that for Applebloom too, but oh, the feels....

[Catpone Cerberus 23,427]

Opalescence (Opal): Woof! 
That counts right?! :3

[Luigi 7,868]

Bright Mac: Big McIntosh! Just exactly what do you think you are doing in that silly getup?

Big Mac: Pa. Applebloom's mighty disappointed that Applejack was called off and couldn't do sisterhooves social, so I thought it would be nice to........

Bright Mac: ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!!!!!! THIS IS COMPLETELY RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!! SELLING AWAY YOUR DIGNITY JUST TO PLEASE YOUR SISTER????? TAKE THOSE STUPID CLOTHES OFF AND GO DELIVER THAT CART OF APPLES TO THE CRYSTAL EMPIRE RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Jackie Snack 1,498]

Rainbow Dash: "Man, I can't wait to go to college and do something with my life."

Applejack: "Now, Big Mac, I don't really think Granny needs to go to a nursing home."

Twilight Sparkle: "I feel that my position as princess is really constructive and contributes to society."

Fluttershy: "I love the way the majority of my fans portray me."

Rarity: "I would NEVER skin my cat just to make a fashion statement."

Pinkie Pie: "I sure love not being a burden on my friends."

[Sparklefan1234 161,875]

Pinkie Pie: "Sweets make me nauseous." 

Fluttershy: "I...Uh...I'm not actually afraid of *anything*." 

 Nightmare Moon:  "From this moment forth, the night will last till sunrise!" *Pauses* "Wait, that's not right." 

Edited October 27, 2017 by Sparklefan1234

[Soaring Symphony 372]

Fluttershy: F**k this S**t

[Singe 2,109]

Rarity: When we let Applejack decide the activity it's always us doing work on her farm as free labor.

 

Twilight Sparkle: Fluttershy. *Looks and loses her lunch.* For the love of Celestia, why are you covered in bugs?

Fluttershy: I couldn't let these poor fleas, ticks, and leeches starve to death.

Twilight Sparkle: So you made yourself an all you can eat buffet.

 

Applejack: So the Cake's shop got shut down because of a health code violation. What happened?

Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy walked in the kitchen.

 

 

 

[cmarston1 5,951]

51 minutes ago, Singe said:

 

 

Applejack: So the Cake's shop got shut down because of a health code violation. What happened?

Pinkie Pie: Fluttershy walked in the kitchen.

 

Twilight: I'm honestly surprised that it took this long for this to happen Sugarcube Corner.  Between the baked bads incident and Pinkie's "eccentric" baking methods, I knew that this was bound to happen eventually.

 

Edited October 28, 2017 by cmarston1

[Sunlight Swift 29]

Rainbow Dash: I will get the laundry done in three days flat!

[Ganondorf8 11,118]

Starlight: I'm going to rule the world and this time I'm going to do it right.

[CypherHoof 26,479]

Derpy: I really hate muffins!

Flash Sentry: I realise now I was wrong to chase pony girls all the time - my true love was the one who was always there for me... Derpy.

Lyra Heartstrings: Twilight? you have been going to the human world all this time and didn't even tell me? You are an even worse friend than you were back in Canterlot!

[Mlppotterwhoovian 381]

Twilight Sparkle: I don't like books 

rainbow dash: reading opens a gate to an alternate universe:)

[ZethaPonderer 2,196]

Rainbow Dash: I always dress in style.

 

AppleJack: Cuss Words in Southern US Literature.

 

Pinkie Pie: Xkskcnrckcmzkxnckdv. *speaking more gibberish*

 

TS: Once I take out my mentor with this *shows cyanide pill* I’ll rule over Equestria.

*Witch Laugh* NYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!! *Witch Laugh*

 

Fluttershy: Hfubvdrgdtkcyhjjfxvjk *even more gibberish*

 

Rarity: Oh for the love of arse hogs.

[The MegaBrony 218]

Chrysalis: *pulls a curtain down between herself and the screen* Don't let your kids watch it! Before you know it, they're gonna be using the magic of friendship! Woo hoo hoo!