How do you handle it when someone does you an injustice?

[Lexamena 391]

Are you a grudge holder? I am. I feel like have tremendous amounts of loyalty and i treat everyone with respect. Until they do something really shitty to me. Which is pretty much inevitable it seems like.

Then its over. They are out of my life. I will carry my hate for them for the rest of my life.

 

I don't like being this way however. How do you get over it when you are treated unfairly, whether it be friom a friend, or family member, or coworker, or salesperson in a store? How about if alot of money were involved, rather than nust principle?

 

Do you forgive and how the heck do you do it?

[Ribbonfree 2,383]

I'm naturally quite lenient, on top of usually only really being able to book offense from those who are closest to me. The people who hurt me most, more often than not, are those I still love and want in my life, my family and friends. I suppose I'm perhaps a bit too detached and my outlook is one that is more likely to hurt me than help, but I just... let things go. In the end, nothing taken from me is truly a big deal, as long as I still have my life and personal ability to be happy.

[Sunwalker 981]

At first I get quite angered, but I keep this to me and I don't show it. I try to not think about the subject, and the anger will eventually go away by itself.

[Guest]

I'm not really an individual that holds grudges - I don't think I can even if i tried. I think life's too short for that anyway.

 

If my friends act like dicks, then I call them out on it, but that's about it. It totally depends on the incident, however.

Edited July 18, 2015 by Guest

[VengefulStrudel 1,486]

I used to hold grudges and be mad for quite a while, but ever since then I've worked on dropping that habit. Now, if that happened, I'd probably be annoyed for a few minutes (depending on the magnitude of the situation) and then move on.

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 40,284]

Depending on if someone does something bad to me or says something really bad to me, yeah, I can be a bit unfriendly as well if harshly provoked, but I try to be a positive influence as much as I can so I try to avoid any kind of confrontation like that. I am also not the type of person to hold grudges, even if someone has severely wronged me. I just really don't like holding grudges to anyone, there is far too much negative energy by doing that.

[yeet 2,026]

Depends what it is really. Like if someone does something little probably not. But if they do something constantly or do something bigger than probably not.

[Invincible 2,090]

I actually sympathize with you. I do that a lot too. I value the people around me above all else, and i loath to think they are capable of betraying that trust. Some do, of course. Sometimes, sticking for people who are important to you will hurt. Bad.

 

Obviously, deciding not believe in others based off of that is a narrow-minded point of view, so i place my trust and make the leaps of faith i need around others. 

 

I believe in second chances, however - it takes a while until i can trust someone who wronged me, but i try to see past that. People make honest mistakes that they end up deeply regretting sometimes. It takes a lot to invoke a complete rejection from me.

[SquipyCheetah 448]

It depends what it is but I usually do hold grudges because of my almost inability to trust people. I don't forgive easily but I might be able to at some point.

[Discordian 6,013]

I literally forget about it within days, hours or even sometimes minutes. Short of them repeating the same thing over and over again I'll end up never holding it against them.

[Sky Knight 1,172]

Injustice is all around us every day, I've accepted it as day to day life now.

[Boyevyye De 243]

I hate them forever and until the day I die.

[GuyNamedEarl 1,332]

I get super pissed for like 5 minutes then I'm totally over it.

[LittleMac 3,084]

I would sometimes hold grudges. But only if something is continuous. If it was something in the past and it didn't happen again, I'll get over it. No point in holding onto things for no reason

[SkullcandyPegasus 603]

Shrug and move on really haha

 

If we're speaking of a friend though, I would certainly expect an apology, but it takes allot to ruin my trust.

[catnet 9,353]

I usually handle it pretty well, and can be extremely patient with them and giving them second and third and many more chances. Some people can waste them all, though, or hit me where it hurts by upsetting or disrespecting my friends... for them, I can be considerably~ less patient.

[MickeyAdaptus 2,209]

O god, these toughts bring up bad memories...

 

Not thats its wrong to talk about such things, not at all!

But somethimes things that have happend in the past are better to be forgotten then being tought all the time.

My mom, my sister and i used to live at my steph father's house, for years it all went fine, but around a year ago, my steph father drove mad at us for some reason, he attacked my mother, and was shouting to me that i would have to come with him for some reason, my sister quickly called the police and now ever since i havent seem him ever again.

 

Such things can occur quicly, but are not easily forgotten as you want them to be.

For anybody else who has experienced simulair things to these, please stay strong, dont let such toughts overtake you.

It is you who has control of these toughts in the first place

[Pastel 7,627]

It takes me some time before forgiving them. But I do forget about it after a while (it depends though).

[Dark Bun 681]

I never hold a grudge, but I do find myself being harsh to others. For example, if someone tripped me (whether by accident or on purpose) I'd been incredibly pissed at them, even if I don't show it. I tell other people to "get over it" when something bad happens, and I apply that same logic to myself.

[Tinkh_ 239]

I tell my mom on them. She's actually pretty scary.

 

But usually, I hold a grudge. Not over small petty things, I'm referring to the really terrible things. I'll still be nice, but will put soy sauce in your coffee and hope you get very very hurt in a dramatic accident.

 

Most of the people who've made me this mad have hurt my mom, sister or brother. I'll never forgive someone who hurt them. There's really only one or two who's hurt only me, ruined my life more like it. I don't want to think of some of these people right now, lol.

[Something Floaty 1,333]

When someone in my life commits an injustice against me, whether an insult, a betrayal, or an injury, I take what is generally referred to as "the high road". I let it go rather quickly, ignore the inconvenience, and do my best to assure both the individual and those around us that I am not harboring any ill will.

 

Then, months or years later, when the incident has faded completely from the memory of all involved or knowledgeable, I strike. I visit emotional and mental destruction upon them in true Old Testament fashion. Their lives and the lives of those they hold dear are forfeit. I tear their most intimate relationships asunder through guile or seduction, feast upon their cherished household pets, turn their parents and children against them with vicious and intricately-planned lies, and render them unable to hold down gainful employment by sabotaging their professional reputation. No effort or expense is spared in transforming those who have wronged me into social pariahs, lost, broken, lonely, with all hands turned against them. 

 

Once they are reduced to helpless, maudlin lumps of barely-coherent sentience, when they are at their lowest, I find them, and promise to put them out of their misery...and with their former wife/girlfriend (in the case of male enemies) on my arm, I raise my booted foot to crush the breath from their throat, pausing only long enough to whisper...

 

"The applesauce in the breakroom fridge clearly had my name on it."

 

And thus, the sweet and cold circle of revenge is complete. 

 

This is also my usual response to people bringing too many items to the express checkout lane and those who put mayonnaise on things when I very specifically requested for them not to.

[frecklesareblooming 225]

It depends on the situation. I don't hold grudges over petty things, but I do if someone were to intentionally hurt me. There's only one person I can think of that I have these feelings for, but fortunately I don't speak to or see them very much anymore.

[Guest]

Well 'injustice' is pretty nebulous, it depends on the situation really.

[IcyHaze 593]

There are pretty much only two things that can send me into a near uncontrollable rage, and they're injustice or unprovoked physical harm. I've held grudges in some extreme cases, people who've tried to fuck thigns up for me for their own advantage and whatnot. Also I once squared up to a teacher in school (despite normally being a good student) because he caught me pouring an entire bottle of water over somone's head and assumed I was being a prick. He didn't see that person pouring a seperate bottle of water all over my shirt though...I was just retaliating. Once I calmed down and explained it though, it was all gewd.

 

On other occasions I have lost it with close friends if they've accused me of things I didn't do, or like...damaged something I own due to carelessness. I spend almost my entire life caring for others and their belongings and feelings, so when someone just does something unthinkingly it annoys me...

 

But overall there's very few instances of that actually happening. I'm normally nice enough and settle issues calmly...

[SolyWack 482]

Are you a grudge holder? I am. I feel like have tremendous amounts of loyalty and i treat everyone with respect. Until they do something really shitty to me. Which is pretty much inevitable it seems like.

Then its over. They are out of my life. I will carry my hate for them for the rest of my life.

 

I don't like being this way however. How do you get over it when you are treated unfairly, whether it be friom a friend, or family member, or coworker, or salesperson in a store? How about if alot of money were involved, rather than nust principle?

 

Do you forgive and how the heck do you do it?

I am the exact oppsosite. I wish i could hold grudges, because some people are just pure pieces of horse deification. But i find myself forgiving them because its more effort to hold that grudge than to just give it up.

 

Also, most of the time, its more in my favor to just forgive them and keep them close than to alienate him or her.

 

Ill give an example from real life. There was this guy named Justin. He was the worst kind of human, scum of the Earth. He had a scar on his right eye from when he crashed while driving recklessly in a snowmobile, he was the type of guy who used shock collare on his dog and threw rocks at baby birds. Not an angel by any stretch.

 

But he had Money. Man this guy was loaded. If he had any more id be seeing hundreds falling out of his pockets. So when he screwed me over in a way i wont get into, i was faced with two options, leave him, or forgive him.

 

I decided he was more useful to me if i just forgave him. So he didnt get any reprocussion for his act, but i swindled him out of so much money, were talking hundreds here.

 

Whether you see that as a good or bad thing, and whether be deserved it or not... well, you decide.

 

So no, in not a grudge holder, i forgive but certainly dont forget.