Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Dreambiscuit 9,351]

 “We’re low on everything. And make sure to buy toilet paper, we’re really scrapin’ bottom around here.”  

[Tropical Melody 5,811]

"Work? As in, honest toil, you mean?" - "Yes."
"Hewing the wood and drawing the old wet stuff and so forth?" - "Quite."
"Well, I've known a few people who worked, absolutely swayed by it some of them. Boko Fittleworth almost had a job once." - "Who is this Boko Fittleworth you keep talking about?"
"Boko? You don't know Boko?" - "No."
"Good Lord! I thought everybody knew Boko." - "I do not."
"Looks like a parrot with a moult." - "- No."
"Once put his shirt on Silly Billy to win the Cesarewitch and Lady in Spain beat him by a nose." - "I have never met Boko Fittleworth."
"No? Well, I couldn't recommend it wholeheartedly anyway. He is an acquired taste, Boko. At least that's what his mother says."
"You were telling me how he once got a job?"
"Yes, well, Boko's got an uncle in the City, brokers, stocks or something like that. And he offered Boko this job and Boko accepted it. I don't think either of them could've been firing on all cylinders, to be honest, at the time. Chaos obviously ensued, until Boko saw sense and gave it all up. Then we had to take it in turns to go round and sit with him until he calmed down."

 

[Tropical Melody 5,811]

"I don't think I've ever been to Kensington. " - "You must have! Your mother lives there." - "Oh that Kensington."

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,219]

"Shout out to Brittney's dentist."

[Thuja 3,658]

"Will this guy next to me please stop farting?"

[Denim&Venöm 18,219]

“Free food, unconditional love and tactical upgrades,” replied the herding dog.

[cuteycindyhoney 13,302]

"Last I saw it, it was on the table by the front door."

[Treeglow Flicker 13,568]

"Well that's a smell found in nature..."

[Tropical Melody 5,811]

" Here on the right are the people with the awesome trampoline. But they don't let me on it no more cos I bounced a kid onto the house."

 

"Do you normally have your breakfast at this hour?" - "Good Lord no! Only if I get up early."

 

"She spoke to me! Well on the phone. I just happened to be standing by it when it rang." - "What did she say?" - "Go get someone with a brain. But she said it in a friendly way!"

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,219]

"Yes...someone is using my logic without my consent!" 

[epiccuttlefish 112]

"I have the stability of several hawks, mixed with tree people."

[Tropical Melody 5,811]

"Thank you. When the world is mine, your death will be quick and painless."

 

[Odyssey 5,715]

"I'll have to take off my feet."

[Denim&Venöm 18,219]

"Ronnie, wish The Man a happy birthday you little weirdo." 

[Luna's Admirer 945]

"Not again! How many times I have to argue with this?!"

[Tropical Melody 5,811]

"People have been passing out and barfing, and like, that barf is free to take."

 

[Tropical Melody 5,811]

"He was sure he was being followed, but every time he turned around all he could see was the backs of four small boys running away and then leaping behind the nearest hedge..."

 

 

[Tropical Melody 5,811]

"These shoes are very tight you know. When I bought these shoes they were so tight I had to wear 'em for a fortnght before I could get 'em on."

 

[Tropical Melody 5,811]

"I see you're sad, and also, sitting on the remote." - "Here we go. Oh no I hit input! Oh no! Oh god we may have to throw away the television!"

 

[Tropical Melody 5,811]

"What the hell Lois, why don't I have a real check-book?" - "Peter, where do checks come from?" - "Er, when a mummy and daddy love each other ...?" - "That's why."

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"You know what else lasts an eternity? This conversation!"

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"Elsewhere in Ankh-Morpork, the Fools' Guild was on fire. This was a problem because the Guild's fire brigade consisted largely of clowns ..."
 

[ZethaPonderer 2,199]

I remember this commercial in my native country. It aired once and never aired again. It was a fishing company that excelled in selling good fishing equipment. The name of the company... MasterBait.

[Gernia 691]

"Can you get the coins I left on my table upstairs that total 73 cents?"

[epiccuttlefish 112]

“The day I let some f***-face Nazi kill me is the day I die.”

“I am told that is how it works.”

[Denim&Venöm 18,219]

"Taka has no control over this man, does he?" 

"Taka has no control over Taka!" 

[Treeglow Flicker 13,568]

"It looks like somebody randomly left a small pile of cocaine by the washing machine."