Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"I don't have an exact date, but it's roughly the same time that the sun becomes a cold dark chunk of coal the size of your forehead." - " We'll need flashlights." - "And sweaters. It could get nippy."

 

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

Your home's temperature was

1.4°C

Higher than other Hive homes near you

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"Is there a book? I mean, books often delve deeper and give you more insight into the character's motivations and often contain more subplots than the movie."

"It's more of a pamphlet, really..."

 

[Widdershins 9,959]

 "Oh no! The tentacles are getting all over the place! Fit in there, you little cutie!"

 "I had hoped I wouldn't have to do this..... actually put in effort."

 "Pat, pat, pat. Pat dah dead bird flesh. Pat, pat, pat."

 

  Edit:  And another one that just happened that I have to add:

"Well, It is a baby made entirely out of Cancer."

Edited February 15, 2019 by Widdershins

[Denim&Venöm 18,712]

"Amazingly, the bath bomb ballsack is the less disturbing version of the legend." 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"Have you ever had your suction mount drop off?"

 

[CypherHoof 26,482]

I know it's a lot, but Defender needs at least that many.

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"What do you want, you glaiket loon?"

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"This man has stopped to help me on his Russian motorbike. I think he's going to give me some petrol. What a nice man! Maybe I should pay him. Me Dong's going to be all soggy isn't it?"

 

 

Edited February 17, 2019 by Tropical Melody

[Denim&Venöm 18,712]

"Anyone who isn't confused, really doesn't understand the situation." 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

[Re, power assisted steering] - "Try a Kia Picanto for sharp steering BTW, the number of times I've almost hurled the common daugter-in-law's little beastie into the decorative roadside bits by the corners."

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

67% of smartphone owners admit to checking their phone for messages when it didn't vibrate or ring. This is one major sign of cell phone dependence and should serve as a warning to all cell phone users.

 

[cuteycindyhoney 13,306]

"Sometimes the stupid thing can't decode the audio."

[Denim&Venöm 18,712]

"A big meaty man match is now the diva's piss break spot." 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"Corporal Cheery Littlebottom pronounced her name 'Cheri' ..."

 

[Treeglow Flicker 13,619]

"Why do plastic bags always have to malfunction when I'm trying to put things in them?"

[Here No Longer 5,276]

"I'm a little crazy? Try a lot crazy!" 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

It was funny how people were people everywhere you went, even if the people concerned weren't the people that the people who made up the phrase "people are people everywhere" had traditionally thought of as people.

"Many of them wouldn't know a pick-axe if you hit them with it."

It was mostly unexplored too. At least by proper explorers. Just living there didn't count.

He wasn't strictly aware of it, but he treated even geography as if he was investigating a crime. ("Did you see who carved out this valley? Would you recognise that glacier if you saw it again?")

"The Ancient Greeks wrote in legend of a terrible container in which all the evils of the world were trapped. How prophetic they were. All they got wrong was the name. They called it 'Pandora's Box', when, of course, they meant 'Baldrick's Trousers'" ...

 

Edited February 20, 2019 by Tropical Melody

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

“According to my IQ of 9 billion you have homosexual”

[Treeglow Flicker 13,619]

"How the heck did a used tea bag get in there?"

[Lucky Bolt 35,062]

"You like sugar on them buns or cream?" 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"Obviously we all like to blame somebody else for our problems, and for this occasion, it's Eric."

 

[Cyclone 1066 3,619]

"An umbilical cord is like a Chinese finger trap. The harder you pull, the tighter it gets."

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"I read the obituaries in the paper today. I wasn't there. So that's good news!"

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

Re a large bass reflex port in a loudspeaker - "There's a Polish family of nine living in there, they're all plumbers including the cat"