Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[ExplosionMare 18,007]

It’s personal because it’s my sink

[Tropical Melody 5,104]

"William will carry your bags, won't you William?"
"No I won't!" (*with Australian accent*)
"Hah well! He's lapsed into his native vernacular again! Yes! 'No hai wont!' Yes! 'No hai-ah h-wunt.' Yes! Yes! It's Filipino for 'It's a pleasure'. Very colourful these Filipinos, can't keep him out of his sarong in the summer"

 

[Denim&Venöm 16,517]

"Turning the passenger airbag into a claymore mine using a coin collection." 

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,680]

When you're a griffon but someone calls you a bird: Meow?

[Prospekt 10,984]

"You're all good... you're all good... you're all good... you're all good... you're all good..."

[Samurai Equine 45,910]

Careful, you'll get me dancing.

[Tropical Melody 5,104]

"Got a 'phone call this PM to say it's all done. Which is great, except that I'm at Warwick Castle for a Medieval Banquet ..."

 

[Samurai Equine 45,910]

I wanted to save it for a special occasion, but... Since when is there a special occasion for fast food gift cards? 

[Denim&Venöm 16,517]

"You're hired. I have a funeral planned for next week, hoping it will turn into a wedding." 

[Tropical Melody 5,104]

"Have some bread and olives while you're waiting for your food!"

(Now normally I can't stand olives but this time I ate them! Will I again next time?)

 

[Denim&Venöm 16,517]

"I jammed four drunk marines into a 2013 Yaris, and we hit the road." 

[Tropical Melody 5,104]

"I scratched my thinning hair. More fell out. It does that."

 

[Denim&Venöm 16,517]

"I just realized that the Mona Lisa is Da Vinci's self-insert OC." 

[Samurai Equine 45,910]

Well, I made it! Whatever you want to call this dish, I made it!

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,680]

You know a math problem's good if there's a chance of people dying. (Context: probability homework.)

[Treeglow Flicker 13,034]

Talking to myself might seem a little crazy to some, but you're all I have to listen to me right now.

[ExplosionMare 18,007]

Imagine dating your parents...

[Lucky Bolt 34,914]

Me: "Aw yeah baby you like that?"

Not me: "Who are you talking to over there?"

Me: "Uhhh no one!"

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,680]

If you're gonna cross half a continent, at some point you're gonna have to question your continence.

[BroomsNHops 260]

Welp maybe it's making up for all the injuries I tend to get when at work?

[Denim&Venöm 16,517]

"Left subpoena in subjects layette. Subject appeared to drool or possibly coo in recognition of the receipt." 

[Tropical Melody 5,104]

"But his teacher, Mrs Wilkinson, thinks he should audition for ballet school in London. Family ructions are inevitable ..."

 

[Denim&Venöm 16,517]

 "Jesus love me...

 C'MON YOU KNOW THE WORDS!" 

[Emerald Heart 24,588]

"Cash & candy have one thing in common: I will not eat either of them."

[Denim&Venöm 16,517]

"Fame may be fleeting, and wealth: ephemeral. But true evil never dies."

"It just comes back with a goddamn second health bar."