MLP pony jokes and puns

[Zygen 6,065]

Well I honestly dont think I have any worthwhile puns or pony jokes, because frankly I'm not good at them.

 

Even if I tried to make any most are pretty cheesy .

 

So I'll have to dash on this one.

 

... I'm going now...

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,926]

Silver Spoon is wolfing down cupcakes when Granny Smith sits next to her, and said, "Young filly, don't you know that eating all those cupcakes in one go can make you ill?" Silver replies, "My grandfather lived to be 110 years old!" Granny Smith retorts, "Did he eat lots of junk food all in one go?" Silver answers, "No... but he did mind his own business."

Edited September 22, 2013 by Chocolate Pegasus

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,926]

http://mlpforums.com/topic/28286-mlp-pony-jokes-and-puns/ That link takes you to another thread of jokes. I would have left it at that but I had to add all this baloney in because of that pesky hundred word rule.

[Smarts 1,621]

Jokes and puns, you say? Sweet, I am totally terrible at this, but I want to join in on the fun! I only have one joke though...Oh well, might as well roll with it.

 

Q: What is Sombra's favorite drink?

A: Crystal Light

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

If I were you, I'd avoid Spike in the morning, I hear he has real dragon's breath.

 

There aren't many Pegasus puns out there, so you usually just have to wing it.

 

Proof Sweetie Belle isn't a dictionary: She can't spell.

[Jamesblorg39welsh 125]

Why did Derpy lick rainbow dash? She Wanted to taste the rainbow! Oh god that was terrible I'm so sorry for wasting people's time with that terrible joke

[Faulty Roze 200]

anti-jokes here, yay! 

 

Why did the chicken cross the road?

- Cause dashie was on the other side.

 

What has 12 hoofs and sounds like cow?

- Cutie marks Crusaders glued together getting milking cutie marks

 

 

Shotgun is located on your left and right, please use them to put these jokes out of their miseries.

[PonyHag1 591]

Then there was the time that Rarity complained to Spike that somepony had poked a hole in her bedroom wall. Spike promised to look into it.

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,926]

Snips and Snails are walking through the Everfree Forest when they notice some tracks on the ground. "Those are bear tracks," stated Snips. Snails contradicts him, "No, those are squirrel tracks." They were still arguing when the train hit them.

(Don't worry, they survived)

Granny Smith has been diagnosed with Alzheimer's. Apple Bloom is grateful for the five Bits she gets for her birthday every week.

Edited September 22, 2013 by Chocolate Pegasus

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,926]

It is the start of a new year at Princess Celestia's School For Gifted Unicorns. She is going over the rules, "The female halls are out of bounds for the male students, and likewise the male halls are out of bounds for the female students. Anypony caught breaking this rule will be fined 60 Bits the first time, 130 Bits the second time, and 210 Bits the third time." At this point, one stallion raises his hoof, and asks, "How much for a season ticket?"

Edited February 22, 2014 by Red Pegasus

[Grand_Finale 529]

If i do this my brain will convert to pun mode for the rest of the day. Im going for it

 

how do ponies shower?

neighked

 

what did twist say to the comical young mare

 

Oh, your so filly! 

 

OO GOD IT BEGINS

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,926]

Diamond Tiara is walking through the Everfree Forest, when a cockatrice appears! "I'm totally screwed!" exclaims Diamond fearfully, doing her best not to look. She then hears a voice say, "No, you're not screwed yet. Taunt the cockatrice by pulling faces at it." Diamond does so, but this makes the cockatrice mad, so it forces Diamond's eyes open, and stares into them. As Diamond loses feeling of her hooves, then her legs, Scootaloo pops out from a bush, and says in the same voice, "Okay... now you're screwed."

Edited February 22, 2014 by Red Pegasus

[caramba2654 602]

Why is Luna friends with the cows?

 

Because she needs them to make a cheese moon and START THE NEW LUNAR REPUBLIC ONCE MORE! MWAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! *throws cheese moon at Celestia*

 

 

 

 

 

EDIT: Oh my! Did I just write "Why did Luna is friends with the cows" ?

Edited September 14, 2013 by caramba2654

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,926]

http://mlpforums.com/topic/66732-unofficial-mlp-jokes-thread/ that link is to another thread of jokes. There's a good one about Derpy and a clock. Oh btw brohoof if you're excited for Season 4.

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

I have a good one about Scootaloo, but I don't think it will fly.

 

What happened when the Cutie Mark Crusaders were in a plane crash? They didn't have a mark on them.

 

Why are Pegasi irrational? Their judgement is clouded.

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,926]

Q. Did you hear about that blonde who needed the money so she could get a subscription to The Hub Network?
A. She sold her TV for it...

[Mand'alor Dash 2,224]

The CMC decide to prank the Ponyville Market by putting disturbing books next to their wares. An Earth Pony walks into the store and sees a book named Cupcakes. He skims the book, and puts it back.

 

"Rubbish!" he states, as he goes to buy a cupcake.

 

Next, a Unicorn walks in and sees a book called Rarity's New Dress. She skims the book, and then puts it back.

 

"Poppycock!" she says, dismissively, and then goes to buy a dress.

 

Finally, a Pegasus walks in and sees a book labeled Rainbow Factory. She skims the book, and then puts in back.

 

"Like anyone would ever do that to a pony!" she proclaims, and then goes go buy glue.

 

Bonus:

 

Q: Who built the Crystal Empire?

 

A: Heisenbuck.

[PonyHag1 591]

Applejack: Did you break the window, Applebloom? Look me square in the eye and tell me!

 

Applebloom: I can't, Applejack.

 

AJ: And why not?

 

Applebloom: Your eyes ain't square.

 

 

Spike: What do you get when you cross an Ursa Minor with a Manticore?

 

Twilight: I don't know.

 

Spike: I don't know either...but when it talks, I listen.

 

 

 

Fluttershy: I heard Rainbow Dash was fooling with fireworks and they blew up! Is she okay?

 

Pinkie: We're still waiting for the last report.

[Rainbow Eclipse 3,926]

Cheerilee's class is going on a field trip, and using the Friendship Express as transport. Scootaloo is slow boarding, and notices Apple Bloom and Sweetie Belle sitting next to Snips, who is at the window seat. Scootaloo asks, "Hey Snips, please may I sit there?" Snips replies, "Sorry Scoots, but I was here first." Not willing to give up, Scootaloo asks again. "Aw, come on, pretty please?" Snips replies, "Didn't you hear me the first time? No!" So Scootaloo whispers something into Snips' ear, and he promptly moves. Puzzled, Sweetie Belle asks how Scootaloo got Snips to move. Scootaloo grins, and replies, "I just told him that all the seats that are leaving the station are in the middle row."

[Away 2,077]

What happens when a unicorn rubs their horn for too long?

 

A magiculation

 

 

So yeah lol anyways, I saw a lot of good jokes and puns here today lmao

[Sholem Itzhak 84]

Anyone remember this joke? It's a joke Twilight would like:

 

"Why are books delicious things?" -> "Because they're food for thought." (Get it?) :lol:

 

 

You might remember a few more jokes such as this:

"Why did the moron drive the bus off the cliff?" -> "Because he wanted to test the air brakes."

But that "moron joke" doesn't really speak "Pony".


Anybody know any other jokes (including "Knock Knock Jokes", but not cruel or pessimistic jokes) that the Ponies would like (or just sound "Pony")?

[Tigerpop198 696]

I saw a girl at a salad bar. I swear I never met herbivore.

[Scootalove 10,684]

I'll think of a bad joke. Why are gems very rare in Equestria? ----> It's because, they are a Rarity.

 

Time for me to get out of here.

[Lunas Husband 2,777]

Seen a 1 eyed man at the movies.... to bad for him... the movie was in 3-D 

 

Yes the joke sucks... I'm trying okay

[Delernil 952]

My class was really trippy today, I fell around 4 times.

 

I just can't stomach these body jokes.

 

These plane jokes didn't really take off.

 

Stephen, spelled with a P. I got Pheven.