Things people say to you, that unintentionally hurt

[Agent505 661]

So, I was just wondering; has anyone ever said anything to you that has hurt your feelings, without them meaning to? And if so, how? 

 

Let me explain a little, I was just playing Minecraft on the computer, and the keyboard and mouse ran out of battery at the same time  Now, I didn't get mad or anything like that, because I had literally JUST started the world, i'd had enough time to cut down one tree 

 

I took the batteries out, threw them in the bin and went to get some more. 

My mother, sat in the same room as me turned around and said "You even make throwing batteries away sound aggressive" 

 

This just got me thinking, that actually hurt quite a bit. Mainly because during my school days I had a history, and was well known for being a bit of an ass, for lack of a better term. I used to be a prick, I was even kicked out of school for certain reasons involving violence. Over these past few years though, i've calmed down a lot and gotten help, generally turned myself around. Hearing that though, made me think, is that really how people still see me? 

 

Anyway, I was just wondering, as I said before - has anyone ever said anything to you that has hurt your feelings or anything along those lines, without them intentionally trying to be mean. 

[Lady Rarity Pony 4,892]

"When I first saw Lurpy on the forums I thought he was going to be a sophisticated individual" - Marco

 

^This wasn't intended to be an insult but it sure sounds like one.

 

That's of a less serious example, though.

[verycreativeusername 1,800]

I can't really think of any. I am more often the one doing a physical action or maybe say something that would unintentionally hurt someone, especially in real life.

[Agent505 661]

Indeed a little less serious but it's still easy to see where the confusion would come from. 

 

Honestly it doesn't have to be something serious, of course  

It was just something that happened that made me think about this topic in the first place, that's why mine's a bit darker. I had to explain too, to make sure people knew what I was talking about haha

I can't really think of any. I am more often the one doing a physical action or maybe say something that would unintentionally hurt someone, especially in real life.

 

My stepdad does that, he's superhumanly strong, and he's always trying to mess around with my mum (take that how you will) she doesn't take kindly to it most of the time and he ends up accidentally hurting her all the time.

[---------------------- 1,645]

"When I first saw Lurpy on the forums I thought he was going to be a sophisticated individual" - Marco

 

^This wasn't intended to be an insult but it sure sounds like one.

 

That's of a less serious example, though.

 

 

Hahaha, very funny.

 

You know I love you lerpy...you know, in like a sisterly way.

 

uhhhh I mean.....I am sorry, I can't stop insulting people

[Righteous Fury 344]

as someone who's disabled I get that fairly often. people being condescending, etc.

 

Doesn't really bug me much anymore, you have to learn to take it in stride, everyone has things about them that don't like, or are sensitive about.

[3005 332]

This hasn't happened since like the fourth grade, but I used to hate it when people would make plans in front of me and not include me. I don't think they meant it, but it made me feel bad. 

[Le Kvlt Dawn 2,364]

I remember one time, and not long ago, this girl came up to me a told me "No offense dude but if you don't change your ways you're never going to get laid". I didn't tell her anything because she walked away, but in my mind I was like "Screw you, stupid bitch".

[Inactive01 5,299]

I've had people call me a stiff because I tended to overreact too much. That hurt quite a bit when I was in grade school. People who also say I tend to overreact too much also do that to me. 

 

Oh here's the clincher. I say I have a crush on someone, my crush doesn't want to hurt me, but they did by turning me down in the nicest way possible? Yeah. 

[Agent505 661]

as someone who's disabled I get that fairly often. people being condescending, etc.

 

Doesn't really bug me much anymore, you have to learn to take it in stride, everyone has things about them that don't like, or are sensitive about.

 

 

There's a good chance i'm going to do the exact thing the topic is about right now, so I apologise in advance >.< 

I guess sometimes people don't know what to say, I know myself there have been plenty of instances where i've not known what to say, and often saying nothing is worse than accidentally insulting people - at least most of the time they understand. 

 

This hasn't happened since like the fourth grade, but I used to hate it when people would make plans in front of me and not include me. I don't think they meant it, but it made me feel bad. 

 

I dont believe that has happened to me before, but I can imagine what it's like, feeling like you're being intentionally left out of something. 

 

I remember one time, and not long ago, this girl came up to me a told me "No offense dude but if you don't change your ways you're never going to get laid". I didn't tell her anything because she walked away, but in my mind I was like "Screw you, stupid bitch".

 

I get that from my own mind a lot, but never from other people. (see the original post for the main reason why...)

 

I've had people call me a stiff because I tended to overreact too much. That hurt quite a bit when I was in grade school. People who also say I tend to overreact too much also do that to me. 

 

Oh here's the clincher. I say I have a crush on someone, my crush doesn't want to hurt me, but they did by turning me down in the nicest way possible? Yeah. 

 

Overreacting is a common thing for me, I either overreact to things or they just dont bother me. There seems to be no middle ground, it kinda sucks really, makes you feel emotionless or weak. At least that's how I feel when I think about it, so I tend not to  

[Keylise<3 488]

Every time someone refers to me with male pronouns. It kind of ruins my mood...

I can't think of anything else at the moment, but I have been hurt unintentionally several times.

[Agent505 661]

Every time someone refers to me with male pronouns. It kind of ruins my mood...

I can't think of anything else at the moment, but I have been hurt unintentionally several times.

 

That's interesting...i've never thought of your situation before. 

I generally refer to people online all the time with male pronouns, i'll say "bro" or "man" to anyone i'm talking to...

 

Really opens your eyes doesn't it? Seems I need to start being more considerate of how I refer to people. 

[Le Kvlt Dawn 2,364]

Every time someone refers to me with male pronouns. It kind of ruins my mood...

I can't think of anything else at the moment, but I have been hurt unintentionally several times.

I can kinda relate to that, I'm a guy but I've been mistaken for a girl on here a few times before  . I gets really annoying, and It pisses me off a bit.

[Keylise<3 488]

I can kinda relate to that, I'm a guy but I've been mistaken for a girl on here a few times before . I gets really annoying, and It pisses me off a bit.

I'm a guy who is a girl who is mistaken for a guy in real life, and it sucks (I'm transgender and I haven't really told anyone so everyone calls me "he").

[duidamasterXD 9,627]

Just when people are (probably accidentally) condescending. I'm generally pretty relaxed and calm, but implying that one of my opinions/feelings isn't genuine or isn't mature is one of the only surefire ways to set me off. 

[Scootalove 10,689]

Well, when people say something to me that isn't meant to hurt my feelings. I just stay calm but then when they actually mean it, I lose my cool mostly.

[Thunderbirds360 22]

Usually when someone tells me something i've worked on too hard that he/she didn't like it/isn't good enough. It makes me angry, even though the said person didn't mean it.

 

I also used to overreact on a lot of situations, however i'm able to control myself better now.

[Agent505 661]

Usually when someone tells me something i've worked on too hard that he/she didn't like it/isn't good enough. It makes me angry, even though the said person didn't mean it.

 

I also used to overreact on a lot of situations, however i'm able to control myself better now.

 

Probably not the same thing im talking about here, but I hate drawing, putting loads of effort into a drawing of something i've worked on for ages and then when I ask people if they like it, they turn around and tell me it's not good, that tends to get me down. 

I can take criticism, as long as it's constructive, if they're just pointing out all the flaws in my work then that gets to me. 

[~Master~ Button Mash 2,307]

When people question me about why I don't have a girlfriend. Usually it is my dad (he was kind of a playboy growing up, and I think he expects me to be the same, and he can't realize I'm not). I know they aren't trying to hurt me, but it is a seriously sore spot.

[Mutemutt 773]

Yeah, there was this time where I went to Home Depot along with one of my group members. We were there to pick up some supplies for the project that we had to build; it was already getting dark by the time we arrived. Anyway, we were gathering the materials and I asked him some kind of obvious question because I like to be thorough about these kinds of things, and he was like "duh". Now, you have to realize that usually I'm okay with that since he's just playing around, but at the time I was going through a rough patch -- I was feeling like I wasn't getting anywhere and wasn't appreciated. It was the straw that broke the camel's back. I was so angry that right after he turned the corner, I just walked out; not a word said, not a care given. He caught up to me while I was heading back to the metro station, asking what he did but I was in no mood to talk. I was all sorts of angry and depressed that night.

 

The next day comes around and I was back to normal. Of course we met the next day and he asked again what he did; I told him "Nothing". I felt like such an asshole; I knew he didn't mean for that to happen but... 

Edited May 19, 2013 by MuteMutt

[Thrashy 2,800]

The most painful instance of this in recent memory was the night I told the woman I loved more than life itself how I felt about her. Instead of taking me seriously, she somehow decided it'd be best to tell me that I wasn't feeling what I thought I was feeling - that it all amounted to little more than mere infatuation. The moment the words left her mouth, my mind went blank, and it felt like I'd been emasculated in one swift string of words. To this day I know that she didn't say it to intentionally hurt me, but the emotional damage was so severe that I fundamentally changed as a person and ended up taking to heavy drinking to escape from the world.

 

Could you say I overreacted? Hell yes, you can. But that doesn't mean the pain wasn't real as all hell.

 

Nearly a year later (doubtless, I'll be celebrating the anniversary of that awful night in less than 2 months) I've managed to recover, at least from my problem drinking. But I honestly don't think I can ever bring myself to trust a woman again. I guess the more tailor-made someone seems for you, the less destined you are to be with them, so why even try?

 

Anyway, enough with my downerisms. I just needs to listens me some metals, and all will be well.

 

EDIT: Here's a more recent and even more frivolous one: When I was recording with my band one night, I had a disagreement with our vocalist on how he should harmonize a particular section, and multiple times I tried explaining to him (and my BFF/guitarist, who was on his side) why it didn't make sense. Eventually I was able to get through to them, but my friend felt the need to tell me "Well maybe if you spoke more coherently, we'd have understood what you were trying to say earlier..."

 

That...pissed me off way more than it should have. For the rest of that night I pretty much just switched off and limited my responses towards anyone to "Uh-huh" or "Yep, that's fine."

Edited May 19, 2013 by Lowline

[♥.:Yulaiyre:.♥ 290]

I'm really sensitive about my voice. 

 

A lot of people say I talk very softly and timidly. Some people think it's cute but I'm really self-conscious about it. 

 

So whenever my friends mimic my voice it really gets to me. 

Even when it's only a joke i'm practically reduced to tears.

[Agent505 661]

I'm impressed at the amount of people who have replied to this, I expected it to fall flat after the first post  

Gotta say, reading some of your posts really does open my eyes to things, it's amazing how people can accidentally hurt others in so many ways! Sometimes they know, sometimes not, but it's always unintentional. Quite fascinating to me, really. 

Just want to say a quick thank you to all of you who have replied  

[Shiki 5,855]

It's one of the few things that someone can say that actually affects me on such a level:

When people say I'm not feminine whatsoever. It's heartbreaking to hear, but I doubt anyone would have known I felt that way.

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

I remember one time, and not long ago, this girl came up to me a told me "No offense dude but if you don't change your ways you're never going to get laid". I didn't tell her anything because she walked away, but in my mind I was like "Screw you, stupid bitch".

This one right here. Oh how much i can feel your anger.

 

For me I have had time where people constantly kept asking hey why are you always so quiet? I overheard one person think I was a werido for being quiet as I am. I despise it because that is who I am I enjoy solitude and its my way to relax. There is nothing wrong with being quiet at times.... Sigh you can never please people in this world.