That's Gay

[Suitaloo 743]

Well, considering I spend enough time on /b/ to have been called a "faggot" enough times for it to have lost all meaning. If you were to represent the number of times I've been called a faggot in faggots (bundles of sticks, not the insult), you'd be looking at about enough sticks to shake at literally everything everyone has ever said "more X than you can shake a stick at". It's really just something that was more hurtful in the early-mid 2000's, now it's more of a joke more than anything.

[J.T. 1,843]

Words only have the power that you give them, and that all I have to say about that.

[Scrubbed user 3,416]

 

Words only have the power that you give them, and that all I have to say about that.

 
As much as I agree with that, I would like to add that context and a sense of humor matters.

With the people that I play with online, words like "faggot" and the n-word (not sure if I could actually say it in this post.) have very little meaning. Hell, one of them is gay and he makes most of the gay jokes. Any that are directed towards him, he just rolls with it. There have been incidents where a random would join us and later start firing off these remarks at 100 times a second. It's easier to just remove them rather than deal with them.
 
If we didn't have a sense of humor, we'd all be seen as racist and homophobic. Edited December 3, 2014 by Indigo Racing

[LZRD WZRD 1,929]

As much as I agree with that, I would like to add that context and a sense of humor matters.   With the people that I play with online, words like "faggot" and the n-word (not sure if I could actually say it in this post.) have very little meaning. Hell, one of them is gay and he makes most of the gay jokes. Any that are directed towards him, he just rolls with it. There have been incidents where a random would join us and later start firing off these remarks at 100 times a second. It's easier to just remove them rather than deal with them.   If we didn't have a sense of humor, we'd all be seen as racist and homophobic.

 

Yeah this is pretty much my deal as well. My friends and I never use gay cuz it's just a weak insult imo. But we say "retarded" and "faggot" a bit. I never use those words to refer to mentally handicapped people or homosexuals. Those words all have a different meaning for me and the people I know. I get how these words might offend someone if I used it in the other contexts, but when I use those words as a synonym for stupid or something, I don't quite get the outrage. If you can change the definition of gay to mean homosexual, why can't you change it to mean something else?

Edited December 3, 2014 by LZRD WZRD

[Guest90210 3,568]

I think I can offer a decent perspective on this, so here goes.

 

I'm bisexual, and I live in a city area where "gay" is used often as sort of an insult.

 

Most of the time, "gay" is just a generic word for "wack", "bad", "unpleasant", or anything similar, although it isn't meant to be overly negative by any means. It usually isn't used to refer to homosexuals (or anyone not fully straight for that matter). It's just a word that's thrown around a lot, generally without any bigoted intentions. Every now and then I hear it used to mean "not straight".

 

I don't think "gay" is necessarily offensive when used in either context. It doesn't bother me as long as it isn't used in a bigoted light. Pretty much any member of the homosexual community will refer to themselves as "gay". I use it myself sometimes, but only when joking with my friends who I know won't take it the wrong way. 

 

It is disheartening when it is used in a hateful way by bigoted people, but people like that can twist any word into a hateful message. And besides, usually stronger words are used by these kinds of people when using it in an excessively demeaning way (i.e, "queer" and "faggot"), which are generally considered much more offensive, although again sometimes I hear both of those words used in the same context as I mentioned with "gay". It all depends on the intentions of the person saying it

Edited December 3, 2014 by Rivendare

[Miles 2,512]

I think I can offer a decent perspective on this, so here goes.

 

I'm bisexual, and I live in a city area where "gay" is used often as sort of an insult.

 

Most of the time, "gay" is just a generic word for "wack", "bad", "unpleasant", or anything similar, although it isn't meant to be overly negative by any means. It usually isn't used to refer to homosexuals (or anyone not fully straight for that matter). It's just a word that's thrown around a lot, generally without any bigoted intentions. Every now and then I hear it used to mean "not straight".

 

I don't think "gay" is necessarily offensive when used in either context. It doesn't bother me as long as it isn't used in a bigoted light. Pretty much any member of the homosexual community will refer to themselves as "gay". I use it myself sometimes, but only when joking with my friends who I know won't take it the wrong way. 

 

It is disheartening when it is used in a hateful way by bigoted people, but people like that can twist any word into a hateful message. And besides, usually stronger words are used by these kinds of people when using it in an excessively demeaning way (i.e, "queer" and "faggot"), which are generally considered much more offensive, although again sometimes I hear both of those words used in the same context as I mentioned with "gay". It all depends on the intentions of the person saying it

 

I totally agree with you Rivvy <3

 

Usually it's pretty clear whether or not someone is trying to be offensive with the word or not.  I never really thought it was much of an insult at all.  I remember a while back there was a commercial on TV about this - it showed some teens talking in a diner together and one of them called something gay, and they all laughed; then the screen blipped to some random person who said "this is not okay to say" or something like that.  I laughed at the person who said that, because the teens were not insulting anyone.  Now, it might be different if a group of teens walked up to a kid who actually was gay and they were trying to bully him.  That's mean.  Bullying is a totally different story.  But like you said, normally it's just used in a way to say that something is dumb.

 

~ Miles

[ARagY 1,152]

It depends entirely on context for me, the closest thing I can find to call myself is Bi, but when people make 'gay' sound like a degrading and unclean thing, especially religious-backed things, then yes it does bother me, but not enough to do anything about it, lol.

 

On the other hand, I call my close friends fa.. all the time if they're comfortable with it. It's not meant to be degrading at all, it's actually quite endearing.

[Windseeker 546]

Lol if only I had a dollar for every time someone me told that. When I first liked MLP, my friends and family seriously thought I was a homosexual, and thus I was swarmed with the aforementioned "that's gay" remark.

 

I get offended, I deny it constantly because there would be times I feared for my safety if I just let it slipped by and allowed everyone to assume I was gay. However, what was more offensive is the thought of someone else deciding my sexuality over something that doesn't really determine it.

[Justin_Case001 4,882]

I never understood why we guys are so obsessed with trying to be masculine. That's why I had no trouble embracing a colourful show about ponies.

You and me both, bro.  Good post.  Good thread.

[ShintX 180]

I wouldn't say its a term of insecurity, more to be used as an insult. In the same way when someone say "You throw like a girl". This doesn't mean they hate girls, it just is used in terms of insults. For example: When some friends don't like this character in a game, or if they feel they have ruined its image with a re-release, they would likely say "This is the gayest thing i've ever played". Just to express their point of view.

 

But i think using it too much, just to spout stuff that doesn't have any points needs to lay off for a bit. Which is a constant internet thing.

[Alia 158]

When someone says this or that is gay, I always ask, “what’s wrong in being gay?” If it doesn’t work I will gladly lecture ’em how good it is that we all are different, how does it enrich our society, that people have a right to be themselves (no matter were some people born that way or chose it), etc. Such “insults” reveal nothin’ but ignorance of those who say it. Whether is “it” really gay or not, being gay is not somethin’ shameful and this word shouldn’t be used as an insult.

[Rohinar 72]

The South Park episode "The F Word" seems relevant to this thread.  Here's the wikipedia article in case you haven't seen it/don't want to watch it.  Spoiler warning.

 

  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_F_Word_%28South_Park%29

 

The theme section seems the most related.  I can see the point they were making, but hearing the word still squicks me out a bit, so personally I refuse to use "fag" or "gay".

[Dattebayo 2,850]

I say it sometimes. Most of the time subconsciously.

Like, when something bullsh*tty happens in video games, I say "Gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay".

 

It's just a word.

When I say it, I don't mean "This guy killed me unfairly, and I equate this negative experience to being gay or persons thereof". It's just a word for me.

If I walk by a two guys making out heavily in an alleyway, I'm not gonna say "that's gay".

 

Also, using the word gay =/= homophobe.

Stop trying to look for things to be offended about.

 

Words are all about how you choose to take them.

You're the one assuming that it's a negative connotation, amirite?

 

It depends entirely on context for me, the closest thing I can find to call myself is Bi, but when people make 'gay' sound like a degrading and unclean thing, especially religious-backed things, then yes it does bother me, but not enough to do anything about it, lol.

 

On the other hand, I call my close friends fa.. all the time if they're comfortable with it. It's not meant to be degrading at all, it's actually quite endearing.

+1 for the Aryanne avatar

 

I mean yeah, I agree...but Aryanne tho

I troll homophobes like there is no tomorrow its hilarious.

"Are you gay f*ggot?"

"Why, you looking for a date?"

"Wha? NO! Suck my d*ck!"

"Getting mixed signals man, do you want to do it or not?"

Mine's similar. One time I had a conversation that went like so:

 

Person: Man, good thing you aren't a fag. I was worried for a moment

 

Me: No way man, I can't believe you would even think that

 

Person: Sorry, you're cool, don't worry

 

Me: So, want some head? No homo.

 

Anyway, I'm not sure what I think about it. There are people who use it without it meaning gay people, and I know there are those that do. But can we convince people not to say it? Probably not.

What the hell kind of people have you two been hanging around with?

I've never met anyone like that. It's, like, a the cartoon alpha-male stereotype you just quoted

Edited December 4, 2014 by Dattebayo

[Hidey 2,836]

What the hell kind of people have you two been hanging around with?

I've never met anyone like that. It's, like, a the cartoon alpha-male stereotype you just quoted

 

Not a friend or anything. But you might be surprised at how many walking "cartoon alpha-male sterotypes" there actually are in the world.

[Buck Testa 5,505]

What the hell kind of people have you two been hanging around with?

I've never met anyone like that. It's, like, a the cartoon alpha-male stereotype you just quoted

I am happy to know there are more civilized portions of the globe then. I am living in a much better area now but I am telling you I've known people every bit as "cartoon alpha male" as you describe. Its rather pathetic actually, but they do exist. 

[Dattebayo 2,850]

 

Sounds way too forward and blunt to be, like, a real conversation with real people. I cannot be the only one thinking this.

Edited December 4, 2014 by Dattebayo

[Blackened 512]

In the words of RageNineteen: "What exactly was gay about the situation? Did the situation seduce a man? Did the situation sleep with a man? Did the situation buy a new pair of Pumps?"

[Cloud Strife 928]

There is no doubt in my mind that "gay" has been used to marginalize homosexuals before. The question is, where do we draw the line? "Gay" isn't the only word used for that purpose. "Moron", "idiot", "dumb", etc have all been used to marginalize those with mental disabilities. (Don't believe me, go look it up.) I doubt anyone who is using those words for those purposes nowadays are trying to marginalize any of those groups, but it definitely developed as a result of that, yet those are words we use all the time without a second thought. Heck, even the word Apple has been used as a slur.

 

Context is super important and words by themselves don't hold power. The word "the" is the most commonly used word and yet when used alone it's nonsensical at best. While it is understandable that people are offended by these words, I do think you need to look at the bigger picture. It's not insulting when someone calls me "gay", but it is insulting when someone tells me that I will never amount to anything and that I'm not going to get anywhere with my life. Note the latter is not one word, but a bunch strung together.

 

Words have multitudes of different meanings. Heck, "wear" can either mean something being degraded or clothes that you have on your back. It's not uncommon for those meanings to be completely different from each other. "Gay" itself used to mean happiness, and I don't even know when down the line it started being equated to homosexuals. My point here is that language evolves and the best way to cope with it is to evolve along with it; getting stuck in one place will leave you behind and muddy up your perceived intentions of others.

[Aly 77]

there is nothing wrong with being a homosexual. All those homophobic remarks are derogatory and completely unnecessary. It is not like they don't like it either. How someone thinks homosexuality and MLP is related is way beyond by comprehensions. I just dont want you guys to be crushed under the undeniable weight of your own permanent marginalities 

[Snoochi 28]

Eh that use to be me until i realized in context it sounds like bad mouthing homosexuality. So i expanded my vocab and now i don't have that problem 

[A goat 323]

I think teenagers use the word "gay" as an insult because they can't stand the sight of someone being happy. Their lives are so full of hatred and sadness that they see happyness as unnatural. "Fun" isn't in their vocabulary, so they must insult someone because they want people to suffer with them.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or they're just immature, homophobic douchebags.

Edited December 5, 2014 by A goat

[~Chaos~ 3,967]

I don't like it. To me if you use it you're immature, I know it's so overused now that people are used to it, but still.

 

It shouldn't be a insult. 

[MsMegan91 117]

PERSONALLY I don't find it "offensive" per se...but I do find it worrying that the word "gay" is being used as a negative adjective. If kids are hearing this from a young age, if they discover that they are homosexual as they grow up it might scare them out of coming out. 

This probably isn't the most articulate post ever made but you get my drift...

[Snow Frostflame 3,568]

I agree anyone who says that's gay or that's retarded I metaphorically slap them in the face by saying "I didn't know [what they were talking about] could be gay/retarded"

[Tameless 979]

I think it's unacceptable. 

 

There are so many other phrases you could use. I find it hurtful to others too.