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You have a pony in a blind rage coming to get you, what do you do?


Buck Testa

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You just get a message from where you are right now that an Equestrian Earth Pony has come into our world for the expressed purpose of whooping your rear into next tuesday for something you did. You only have what is around you at this moment and ten minutes before the Earth Pony closes in on your current location.

 

Equestrian ponies are faster than your car going at top speed without it affecting their breathing, can break through brick walls with little effort, are extreamely durable and flexable, can cling to verticle surfaces and scale them with ease, and can run full tilt with literal tons of metal chained to their flank dragging and sparking behind them without slowing down and a slew of other physical feats that tell you you have next too zero chance in a physical altercation.

 

What did you do to tick off the pony so much?What is your impromptu plan of action? Will you run? Will you set up a way to fight? Maybe get it to calm down? How would you feel if you lived in a world where situations like this were possible?

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I don't really know what I could do to make them angry. I would apologize, try to reason with them, befriend them, give them something to drink. I am not violent at all, and I would not win against them anyways. It's the only way to have a chance to survive. 


I would be scared. I could die. Why wouldn't I be scared? 

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Call the cops. They'll be my meat shields. Maybe tire it or slow it down. best case is that they taze them down. But if not, I will be waiting behind the police barricade w/ a knife in each hand, asking why it want's to kill me, asking them to prove it, and if those don't work, I go down swinging and die with my honor intact. I'll leave an elaborate will & testimony asking that my funeral be casual dress only w/ lots of pizza and nachos, a ciricle pit around my grave as it's being set up, and I don't wanna be me by Type O Negative playing in the background, and that my body is super-heated and compressed into a lead diamond. 

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You just get a message from where you are right now that an Equestrian Earth Pony has come into our world for the expressed purpose of whooping your rear

Well, there are two scenarios for me.

 

Scenario 1: If the earth pony is Applejack, I would gladly let her "whoop my rear". Don't be silly, this isn't some fantasy of mine... heh...

 

Scenario 2: If the earth pony is not Applejack, I would try reasoning with them.

Edited by Megajack
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Wait..so a pony from Equestria has decided to bring itself to our world? Well if that's the case this earth pony in question has inadvertently allowed Pinkie to more easily transfer her essence into mine and thus giving me the ability to screw the rules of nature this universe has set because reasons that if i go into will destroy your mind.  :maud:

 

With that said, i will activate Smile HD mode.  :maud:

409195__safe_solo_pinkie%2Bpie_animated_

 

 

Or throw them a party the likes of which they cannot deny and can't help but fall into a joyous bliss.  :maud:

FANMADE_Pinkie_Pie_happy.gif

 

Honestly im greatly leaning towards the latter. One should not underestimate my party powers at that point.  :maud:

Edited by Pinkamena-Pills
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The earth pony is probably Big Mac...cause I told his sister that the apple family Cider tasted like crap, her little sister was a stupid blank flank, and that nobody liked her apples. I left the poor thing in tears.

Oh yeah, I also said that Zap apple jam tasted like play-doh.

 

So the big guy is coming for me? I would think just for a second about taking my well deserved beating like a man, but only for a second.

I would get in my car and hit the highway. Big Mac has no idea what make or color my car is, and he would attract a lot of police attention chasing down cars on the freeway. I know the twists and turns of my city and there are LOTS of parking garages. with a ten minute head start, he would never find me.

 

Earth ponies. Ha! I fear no earth pony.

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The earth pony is probably Big Mac...cause I told his sister that the apple family Cider tasted like crap, her little sister was a stupid blank flank, and that nobody liked her apples. I left the poor thing in tears.

Oh yeah, I also said that Zap apple jam tasted like play-doh.

 

So the big guy is coming for me? I would think just for a second about taking my well deserved beating like a man, but only for a second.

I would get in my car and hit the highway. Big Mac has no idea what make or color my car is, and he would attract a lot of police attention chasing down cars on the freeway. I know the twists and turns of my city and there are LOTS of parking garages. with a ten minute head start, he would never find me.

 

Earth ponies. Ha! I fear no earth pony.

Make that 2 earth ponies that are hot on your ass, and don't think about escaping so easily, deathstroke will find you, he will make you apologize or face certain death.

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Sit on the roof of my house and drop items at the sucker. They'll have no way of getting onto the roof so I'll be fine do to it being an upside down angle .

 

And it was probably bonbon cause I don't give a damn about her

Edited by Feather Grass
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Call the cops. They'll be my meat shields. Maybe tire it or slow it down. best case is that they taze them down. But if not, I will be waiting behind the police barricade w/ a knife in each hand

 

but just imagine the 911 call

 

*911 what's your emergency*

"help a pony is after me"

*like a pony from a farm?*

"no, one from equestria you need to help me!"

*lol grow up kid*

*hangs up*

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Looks up from Book at enraged pony coming to her

in a bee line,  full of anger and rage.

 

Signs and waits till the last moment and side steps

to watch said pony run by in blind rage.

 

Keeps reading book..

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Make that 2 earth ponies that are hot on your ass, and don't think about escaping so easily, deathstroke will find you, he will make you apologize or face certain death.

If I'm gonna get a whoopin, I might as well deserve it.

Edited by Silverhoof
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Set up an elaborate series of traps and distractions. Can the ponies run while stuck in a pit of tar? Hopefully, I can talk him/her out of violence. If not... Leave them in the tar pit to sink, while making a fancy speech about how it's their own hatred and rage that drags them down to their grave.

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