Why all the venom against age gap relationships?

[GoldenGumdrop 164]

Let me preface this by saying by age gap I mean that both parties are adults 18+ years old. I am married to my hubby and we have an age gap of 24 years. I am the younger one and I love him very much. I've always liked older men for a variety of reasons. I see so much hatred and negativity directed towards age gaps which I find ridiculous. First of all, it's not really that uncommon and who cares? For most of human history, older men married younger women, so what? There's a lot more to a relationship than the movies you grew up with and all that stuff people commonly throw your way. I think it's sweet and think people need to quit being judgemental.

[碇 シンジン 27,427]

my parents have 14 years age difference so i agree

[SourStuffing 12]

Woah, 24 years sure is quite a gap. 

I prefer older man too, I don't know, they make me feel safe because they are wiser and taller than me (?) LOL But, I've never considered an age gap beyond 10 years, for myself anyways. I guess some people just stick to the conventional and can't understand everyone's personal feelings and point of view. I don't quite get it but if you say your love is true, and he already married you it means he loves you deeply too! And I don't think people have right to stomp over your feelings and make you feel bad just because what you picked for your future is not traditional. However, in my humble opinion, I'm more worried about the biological part of the relationship, as in if you have considered that your husband is probably going to die before you? Or, all the care he might need as he grows, significantly, older than you? 

I do wish you both all the happiness of the world, because true love is such a rare thing to find nowadays

[Guest]

After 18 years, I see no problem in them tbh.

[GoldenGumdrop 164]

Thank you, we will be married for 8 year in November

[Will Guide 21,325]

2 minutes ago, GoldenGumdrop said:

Thank you, we will be married for 8 year in November

Congratulations! My own parents also married in November. 2001 to be exact!

Also , I don't care about age gap as long as the lovers genuinely care for each other. That's my definition of true love over false, one-sided love!

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 40,298]

As long as it isn't breaking any sort of laws, I have not once saw any kind of problem in an age-gapped relationship, even if the gap is huge. You 20 years old and want to marry a 50 year old? By all means, go for it. I say love is love for LGTB and I say love is love for this as well.

[BastementSparkle 20,312]

A lot of people seem to have an issue with it because of the gap in maturity. "What does a 50 year old have in common with a 20 year old?" I've heard people say. Which is a little bit silly because age doesn't necessarily always equate with maturity and life experience. Some 20 year olds are more mature than some 50 year olds, and some 50 year olds are a bit more young at heart. People with age gaps like that can still connect over various things, age isn't some concrete number that defines who you can connect to.

 Other people might just think it's a bit weird and not something they'd do, they don't find people that much older than them attractive. Which is fine, personal tastes and all that, but people tend to take their tastes, apply it to others, and then decide everyone else is wrong. The amount of people I've seen take issue with gay couples or interracial couples or whatever simply because they feel it's "Gross" personally, and therefore so should everyone else is kind of ridiculous.

As long as you're happy with the relationship, I see no issue with it. Its not anyone else's place to decide who you can and can't love.

[Castle Bleck 19,167]

Except for pedophilia, I just don't give a s*** about age gaps.

[GoldenGumdrop 164]

By age gap I mean both must be adults. Anything else is wrong and a crime and just morally disgusting

[Steve Piranha 28,782]

As long as both parties are of age of consent for starters, it's all good. I do draw a line if the age gap is too long, like commonly seen on the infamous goldigger cases, but other than that, I think it's all cool. 

That reminds me of one woman that just commented me that she was attracted on a much younger Egyptian man, and to put thing short, I basically said "Go for it". I got complimented for my wisdom for that, which I've blushed  

[Envy 6,000]

Of course, if both individuals are 18 or above and consent than it is is legal. I suppose for me it's just weird... Even beyond the age of 18, there are still levels of maturity.

If it works for you, it works. But returning to college at age 27/28 has led me to realize that just even that gap of 9 or so years between the freshman and I is gigantic. I can't lie, it would feel wrong to me to date a freshman now because they feel like children to me, even though they're 18. It feels like there's a whole generation's gap between us. o.o I can't imagine what it would be like to be someone with a 20 year or so gap. o.o

[cmarston1 5,952]

If both individuals are 18+ it is technically legal, and as long as no one is getting hurt than things are fine, and it is nice that you guys are generally happy.

But the whole age gap thing is more about a power imbalance in relationships with someone significantly much older and how that can lead to the younger person in the relationship to be taken advantage by the older party and or not be seen as and equal member in the relationship.

[Nerdy Luigi 2,064]

I personally don't care about age. Love is love regardless of who the love is between.

[joshyang908 85]

Wow 24 years age difference. Good on you and ur hubby.

 

I'm only 25 years old XD

[Dreambiscuit 8,024]

9 hours ago, RareBase said:

A lot of people seem to have an issue with it because of the gap in maturity. "What does a 50 year old have in common with a 20 year old?" I've heard people say. Which is a little bit silly because age doesn't necessarily always equate with maturity and life experience. Some 20 year olds are more mature than some 50 year olds, and some 50 year klds are a bit more young at heart. People with age gaps like that can still connect over various things, age isn't some concrete number that defines who you can connect to.

Exactly true.

I have no probs with age gaps of any kind. If it's love, it's love. And one nice thing is that it's not based so much on how young, hot, popular or 'cool' a person is; it's more about what's on the inside and what each half of the couple sees in the other. My parents are ten years apart in age and it was never a problem. No reason it should be. It's all about maturity and personal chemistry. Back in the old, old days (I'm talking old west stuff) girls sometimes married at age fifteen, and often to mature men. One of my own distant ancestors was married as a very young teenager to an older man, and not because she 'had to' but because she chose to. She was ready for marriage at an early age because she had the mental maturity for it, as many girls did back then. I think marrying for love and not for image is a beautiful thing. I'm all for it.  

[Zyrael 1,471]

even if both partners aren't 18 I don't think people should make it their business to pass moral judgement if the people are in a good relationship.

 

[StormBlaze 991]

my partner is 8 years older than me and its the biggest age gap ive been in, but you would not know it. 

the big age gap thing is kinda daunting on general public because, well, your partner could be old enough to be your parent, which can be translated to pedophilia to some people, because one person is SO much older. I would say its also a concern of safety, especially for girls, as the older male single stereotype is to take advantage of young girls by being the Papa figure. It scares people. 

Another factor into it is school years. When youre a teenager, in my school especially, its like the most forbidden thing ever to go out with someone outside your year age. ive NEVER heard or seen anything in my school of pupils with teachers, but 3rd formers (13/14) going out with the sixth formers (16-18) was the biggest thing to go around the gossip. When I was 16 my first BF was 19 and that was huge news at the time amoungst my class.

I have a friend who has a 19/20 year old boyfriend but he is is in his late 30s now. Kinda was a bit weirded out at first, especially when I heard about the meeting his parents for the first time.    

But now im older, im in my mid 20s, my ex and my current are both over 30, but it doesnt bother me. Ive felt mentally older since I was 19 anyway, all my friends have been older anyway. Its become a normal thing for 20 somethings to start going out with people in their 30s. Its just the maturity age, where youre finding a partner. Age doenst really matter if you work as a couple. 

[ZethaPonderer 2,196]

Honestly, the reason why people have developed such a hatred for these types of relationship aside from being ageist is because under the law people can finally sue and prosecute people for acts of hebephilia pretty easily. Hebephilia is seen as a crime under Western standards, but in other countries it is not perceived as such e.g. Japan's age of consent.

 

Please note that there is a serious distinction between this and pedophilia (doing THAT to children who lack awareness of IT in the first place e.g. a 3 year old girl or 5 year old boy). No country no matter how corrupt would be THAT evil to enact such a law except Saudi Arabia who barely even follow Islamic laws  (wouldn't surprise me really since the Saudi Royals hate the legacy Islam has left behind and would most likely wish to practice Pre-Arabian laws). Took me a long time to figure out that Puberty is not Equivalent to Maturity. Blame the education I received in my own native country on that one.

 

The fact that there exists a law where people can easily make false accusations of the act of hebephilia by making it the same thing as pedophilia is nothing short of being power abusive and being intellectually dishonest.

 

Not to mention, the guy is 40 years and he's marrying a woman who's 25. Bro, you knew her when she was a toddler why would you bonk that?  

Edited July 3, 2017 by ZethaPonderer

[Victoria Sponge 1,014]

If you're both able to consent I guess there isn't a problem with it. I personally prefer people my own age because they're easier for me to find and get to know. My boyfriend is only a year older than me and that works fine for me. We both study the same subject at the same university so that makes getting along very easy.

[Meeps 297]

 

I believe a lot of people realize its simply easier for a much older person to prey upon someone younger than them due to lack of life experience, hence the "someone of that age has no business being with someone that young." Then there's also the whole "when the older person was x amount of years old, their significant other was an infant" thing, which while strange, really has nothing to do with the relationship between two adults.

If it works for both people and no manipulation was involved, then its really no one else's business.

[Jokuc 8,172]

Because people who aren't in to that sort of thing view it as weird and somehow lose the capability to understand that people have different tastes.. Or something like that. I don't understand the issue either.

[Invincible 2,090]

I think there's a prejudice towards gap relationships because people might assume one is just looking for a sugar daddy/mama, and as such this is a superficial and a shallow relationship worthy of ridicule. 

 

Personally I don't think it's fair to judge people on their life choices even if they end up with a partner for such a reason, but I think I can understand why it angers some people.

[Weles 100]

Because my ancestors honored families, not relationships. More practical to have a husband and wife of similar adult age.

Being judgemental is part of being human, sorry.