KillerKingBakudan

Share your grudges

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They say holding anger and resentment towards somebody for a long period of time isn't good for you. But I've hated certain people in my life for at least two decades. I'm still physically healthy, so I'm convinced that's all a complete crock. I've got more than enough energy to hate these people and carry on with my day to day routines. And I'm sure I can't be the only one. Who do you hold grudges for?

For me, it's one parent and two siblings. I've been wronged by them so much that I've learned family ties are utterly meaningless. Relatives are just people who happen to share your DNA. But these three especially could die in a fire today, and I'd feel nothing.

I'm sure if Applejack a was real person/pony, she'd smack me across the face for saying that. And I wouldn't mind, because then I'd hate her too.

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I hold a slight grudge toward my sister. Nine or so years ago she cornered me and made me trust her enough to come out to her. I should have known better than that. But she acted all positive about it. However, shortly thereafter she turned around and started making fun of me. We were in the car with the rest of my family, and she kept on making these jabs that seemed innocent to my family, but were clear jabs at me, and she darn well knew it. I was in no position to defend myself. After that, I was done. I don't care that it was nine years ago. For you see, she never apologized, and went to pretending like I never even came out to her.

I do everything I can to avoid seeing or talking to her. But now there is a nephew in the picture and I don't want to be a terrible aunt, so I come to see him. And I naturally feel bad for her when she gets into bad relationships, which she has pretty much been dealing with the whole time. However, I sadly have to do that from a distance because, well, you know.

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Mine is towards my mother - without going into detail, I will say that she has never technically abused me, and that that is by far the best thing I have to say about her.

Also, you're two days too early.  ;)

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1 hour ago, KillerKingBakudan said:

They say holding anger and resentment towards somebody for a long period of time isn't good for you. But I've hated certain people in my life for at least two decades. I'm still physically healthy, so I'm convinced that's all a complete crock. I've got more than enough energy to hate these people and carry on with my day to day routines. And I'm sure I can't be the only one. Who do you hold grudges for?

For me, it's one parent and two siblings. I've been wronged by them so much that I've learned family ties are utterly meaningless. Relatives are just people who happen to share your DNA. But these three especially could die in a fire today, and I'd feel nothing.

I'm sure if Applejack a was real person/pony, she'd smack me across the face for saying that. And I wouldn't mind, because then I'd hate her too.

It’s sad you’d think like that, however, I know by experience that family are more likely to betray you than anybody else, because they take you so for granted :sunny:. Even though my parents died, I have held grudges towards them until now, even my still living younger brother. We live together, and I mostly tolerate him, but one of my goals is to live in my own house and get rid of him, as he had no problems in bullying me at school himself :unamused:. Family is the biggest source of false friends sadly :sunny:

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I used to hold grudges when I was a teen. But I ultimately learned that grudges only cause pain and misery to the one holding them. They solve nothing and bring no relief. Besides, hate isn't an animal you'd want to feed. Negativity is the real enemy.

Love is stronger than hate because love, when it's genuine, lasts forever and can never be undone. But hate can be dispelled by simply forgiving.

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I can't say I have any grudges. I tend to forgive and forget easily. 

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I used to held onto grudges in my younger days, but now I'm just indifferent about these kind of things. 

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I tend to try to forgive or at least find a way to move on, though I can’t forget when someone has seriously wronged me.

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It's not a grudge per se but a few years ago this girl I was friends with got diagnosed with depression. She got really graphic and would text us all at ungodly hours of the night crying and telling us it was over and she was giving up. She wouldn't take any of our advice and eventually some of us started leaving. I remember turning my back on so many friends because she told they had bullied her or said they didn't care about her illness. She would talk about how they betrayed her and that they would be in her note all the time. I know now that all of us still cared about her, we all still do, they just realized they would never be able to help her without giving up everything. The breaking point for me was when she called me at 10 pm and described... a horrific scene. I won't go into detail but lets just say it was awful enough to convince my sister and dad to drive to her house and check on her. I lied to her parents and said I needed to talk to her about homework and when I got to her room... there was nothing. Nothing that she described. Not even a speck of evidence except for our texts, the call log, and some tear marks on her face. I managed to keep it together and played the role of concerned friend but the second I got home I was furious. Because by that time she new I was going through the exact same things, she new that phone calls, especially unexpected ones, caused me freakish amounts of anxiety. And that scene she made up? Had all of my triggers. All of the ones I had told her, confided in her. Every. Single. One. And even after that it took me a full year to finally put enough distance between us and really start healing. It's been almost 4 years and I'm still finding evidence of her influence. 

So I mean, I wouldn't call it a grudge, but I also wouldn't say it isn't one. She set my recovery back by years and even if I smile at her in the hallway and ask her how her family is I will never, ever be able to call her a friend. 

This is probably way TMI but honestly it feels good to get it off my chest. I do still worry if I'm being selfish or close-minded to not let her back in. She clearly wants to be friends again but I can't let go of what she did...

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I don't hold grudges anymore. I've been pretty angry throughout my life at family and friends who have wronged me, but I love to focus on getting rid of the negative energy and trying to forgive. An outside enemy only exists if there is anger inside. 

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