Is being the "silent type" looked down upon?

[Shanks 10,816]

Yes I think so, the phrase "it is always the quiet ones" whenever there is a tragedy like a murder is often brought up which I have always thought was complete bull. For some odd reason people are sort of freaked out by the quiet type which I just don't get, talking is a very useful form of communication but it is not the only means of communication or expression. And I am saying as a guy who has got quite the mouth on him and has a tendency to be a bit blunt at times but that is just my nature and being quiet is your nature so you are just different and there is nothing wrong with that.

[Spectre2343 78]

As a good soldier once said:

"Relax Rookie. He don't mean nothin'. Besides. Now's one of those times, it pays to be the strong, silent type.

Dutch - Orbital Drop Shock Trooper

 

But really, I know how you feel. I'm one of the people who usually don't initiate conversation unless it's a friend of mine. I've been called un-normal and weird before, but whatever. No matter where you are, you'll find people like that.

[Rainbow Dash 1,472]

Yes. I am the silent type and where ever i go i get static for being quiet and 'mysterious'. Let me tell you guys of some experiences i had as a silent fellow. The middle school i went to had the police called and escort me off the premises. why? because i showed the same traits as a serial killer. I know it sounds crazy but their reason behind this was because i 'never exhibited social skills and always had a mean look on my face.'

 In highschool years cops pulled me to the side and asked what my business was. i said shopping. they said get what you came for and leave, you are upsetting people. all i did was walk in the store noisily. the noise came from my shoes.

 

In todays world if you are quiet it raises alarm since half of the school shooting suspects and cop killers were silent types. this is just an observation. it might not be true, but this is what i see.

[Endless Storm 109]

I've always been really shy and quiet, and a lot of the time I get hated for that sadly, I really think it's annoying that people say there's something wrong with being quiet. I mean, what's so wrong with not talking to people who I don't know?

[Mutemutt 773]

There have been plenty of times where someone asks me "How come you never talk" and I always answer " I just don't have anything to say". My personal favorite reaction is when I'm talking to one of my friends and another classmate standing nearby just stares at me all wide-eyed. Then they either interrupt me or wait until I take a pause and say "that's the first time I've ever heard you speak"; my response is something like "Really? Ok..."

 

I think from a employer standpoint, quietness and being introverted seen as a negative trait. It's a society dominated by extroverts so I guess that extrovert qualities are more desirable for employers. I've seen articles/ books that speak about the benefits of introverts in the workplace but I don't know how many employers really take that to heart.

 

I think the general public may find it a bit odd or uncomfortable. That would explain why so many people have asked me why I'm so quiet. It's funny there have been a times where I'll be with someone alone and I won't say a word and they're constantly trying to break the 'awkward silence'. Of course that's always been a little difficult since most small talk drains the life straight outta me.

[Hangman 320]

Depends on why you are silent. If you are scared of what other people will think of you, or just don't have anything interesting to say.. Then you need to learn some social interaction skills.

 

If it is because you just genuinely don't like to say much, then it's fine. Personally, shy people annoy me. There is no reason for anyone to be that way, especially if I am going out of my to have a conversation.

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

Thanks for all of your replies I appreciate the feedback and your thoughts on this. It honestly should not matter whether or not if you are a quiet person. People ought to accept you the way you are regardless of anything. Those kinds of people who are always there for you they are true friends . 

Edited March 12, 2013 by Gone ϟ Airbourne

[Hangman 320]

Thanks for all of your replies I appreciate the feedback and your thoughts on this. I honestly should not matter whether or not if you are a quiet person. People ought to accept you the way you are regardless of anything. Those kinds of people who are always there for you they are true friends .

Fact is, people are mean. If there are people out there who will kill someone just because the color of their skin, there will be someone who is not going to accept you for being the silent type. If there is one thing we need more of, that would be self esteem. Just because one person is rude to you, doesn't mean there aren't people who will be nice to you. You can't let someones opinion get you down. It's a waste of time. Just be yourself, and if you are happy then keep at it. If you aren't happy, then make some changes.

[King 5,625]

I used to be VERY quiet when i was younger, as I grew older I became a little more open, but not too much. Im still a tad quiet and shy.

Truthfully there is nothing wrong with being quiet, some of us just like our solitude, not that we dont like friends or anything, but for some reason I prefer reading a book, taking a hike,camping over playing football or going to the movies....

[Telegraph 115]

Depends on why you are silent. If you are scared of what other people will think of you, or just don't have anything interesting to say.. Then you need to learn some social interaction skills.

 

If it is because you just genuinely don't like to say much, then it's fine. Personally, shy people annoy me. There is no reason for anyone to be that way, especially if I am going out of my to have a conversation.

You do realize that shy people can't help being shy, right? It's a part of who we are, and not something we can just turn off and change. I have spent years trying to fight my shyness, to varying effectiveness. It's not so much a simple act as "Be who you are, and make some changes if you aren't happy with yourself." It's not that easy or simple.

[Hangman 320]

You do realize that shy people can't help being shy, right? It's a part of who we are, and not something we can just turn off and change. I have spent years trying to fight my shyness, to varying effectiveness. It's not so much a simple act as "Be who you are, and make some changes if you aren't happy with yourself." It's not that easy or simple.

Gotta get out of your comfort zone. I was a really shy kid, then I joined the scouts. Went on all kinds of cool trips, got pushed to my limits, made fires, hiked the Appalachian Trail, ate bugs. I was shy just like you, but then I deleted a phrase from my vocabulary "I can't." My life has been so much easier ever since I stopped doubting myself. You only get one life, might as well make it the best you can. Why would you care about what other people think? It isn't going to make anything better. Get out and enjoy yourself! It's like skydiving, the first time is going to be scary as hell.. But thenext time, you are going to be totally stoked. With experience comes confidence, and if you hold yourself back from things you are more than capable of doing, then you will never have confidence and your life will not be an enjoyable one. I get ripped on all the time, do I take it to heart? Hell no! I know that the only reason anyone would take the time to make fun of me, is because they have nothing better to do with their time. Push your limits. Do something that makes you uncomfortable. If you mess up, laugh it off. Don't let other people stop you from being you.

[Telegraph 115]

Gotta get out of your comfort zone.

I joined the US Air Force. I went through 8 weeks of Basic Training. I spent 8 weeks with 59 young men from different backgrounds who I didn't know, got yelled at by like 12 different MTI's. I got through it, feel more confident for it... but I'm still shy. I've also left home twice before for months at a time. I've put myself in situations where I have to talk to new people, and I do. But I'm still shy. It doesn't just go away for me.

[LensFlare 40]

I don't think there is anything wrong with being the "silent type", quiet, shy, any of it. I used to be very shy when I was younger, and I'm still generally a quiet keep-to-myself kind of guy.

 

At one of my last jobs I had a couple co-workers who were were the extreme opposite of silent. They would talk and talk to everyone and anyone around. Most people were super annoyed by them and I was actualy complimented by a co-worker for being a quiet person! She said something like "At least you don't constantly talk like so-and-so. Sometimes it's nicer to have silence than to have constant chatter."

 

Not sure how relevant that story is, but it popped in my head. Point is, it's not a bad thing to be a quiet person. There's no reason for it to be looked down upon. If being quiet and shy is part of who you are, then it won't matter to those in your life who matter to you.

Edited March 12, 2013 by LensFlare

[Mightymags 1,053]

I really think that it is looked down upon. I've always been content during class discussions to sit there and listen to what others had to say, but people usually just assume I'm being left out so they try to bring me into the conversation and it's annoying. If I want to be involved in something then I will be, I don't see why people feel the need to bring my silence to attention just because there's nothing I want to say. I enjoy being quiet and just watching what's going on around me. 

[Beta 42]

It definitely is looked down upon. People who are quiet are not considered confident, capable or outgoing enough in the real world.

 

I used to be a very quiet/shy person when I was younger and have grown to be a very outgoing person through working. I would have never succeeded, perhaps may not have survived, if I didn't grow and change.

[Broccoli 127]

I think that people today often view very quite people as antisocial, autistic, or people with social problems in general. Everyone is different, and not everyone has to be very outgoing and be loud, hyper, etc. However I do believe that it's not good to be too quite and by yourself too much. It's healthier to be able to socialize with others, and you'll have to deal with all sorts of people in your life anyways. 

[Bucky McGillyCuddy 956]

Yeah it's strange that some people think that just because someone is quiet that there must be something wrong with them. I was asked why i never talk at work and that it's weird. I explained that while i'm at work i like to actually work, i'm not paid to talk. 

 

I think of it as being the Strong & Silent type. 

[GrimCW 658]

Yeah it's strange that some people think that just because someone is quiet that there must be something wrong with them. I was asked why i never talk at work and that it's weird. I explained that while i'm at work i like to actually work, i'm not paid to talk. 

 

I think of it as being the Strong & Silent type. 

 

I tried this approach originally.. lost many jobs over it due to whiney people... Mostly because they have an issue with people that they can't make angry when they're having a bad day.

Sad really... Just because i can keep a smile on when its a rough time at work apparently makes me a bad person, and worse if i won't chat it up about things i don't know or care about...

[IceStorm 7]

This is something I have always wondered because I have always been a quiet/shy person since I was younger. All throughout school I always had others think I was odd/weird for staying quiet for whatever reason. It got very very annoying having to hear from others is there something wrong with you? I just wonder if any of you have had to deal with similar situations as this throughout your life. There is nothing wrong with being quiet and enjoying solitude. I have always said why should have to change myself to be accepted by others?? 

 

But honestly do you think in our society that being introverted/quiet is looked down upon?  

 

to be honest our society is now chaves and pregant teens or the smart quiet type

 

the cool ones in the middle no longer exist im afriad, their either chaves or smart people

 

all my old 'Cool' friends are evil petty criminals or in jail while im studying and being a good pony along with my awesome bronys

 

ofc i dont care if your quiet but i do care if you try to steal my tv

[Luna's Husbando 61]

Depends on why you are silent. If you are scared of what other people will think of you, or just don't have anything interesting to say.. Then you need to learn some social interaction skills.

 

If it is because you just genuinely don't like to say much, then it's fine. Personally, shy people annoy me. There is no reason for anyone to be that way, especially if I am going out of my to have a conversation.

 

I know this post is from a while ago, but I feel like I should respond to this.

 

If someone does't want to have a conversation with you you shouldn't try to force one. I wouldn't care if you were going out of your way to have a conversation; I wouldn't want to have to carry it. You should just leave us quiet people alone and stop trying to force us to to talk to you, because chances are we just want to be left alone.

 

Also, there are plenty of reasons for someone to be shy. They could have social anxiety, they could have been bullied or abused. You don't know so you have no right to say that there is no reason for people to be shy. This is what so many of you extroverts fail to understand; not everybody is like you, and that's not a bad thing.

Edited March 12, 2013 by Luna's Husbando

[Anonymous~ 591]

Oh my, I can't even tell you how much a key role in life is your personality. In today's society there is a huge bias against shyness, introverts and socially anxious people. Both normal, everyday people and the employers tend to socialize and hire people who are extroverted and out-going, thus in most cases ignoring the less-fortunate introverted/shy/socially anxious people. They are treating us as "nature's defects", only blindly believing that extroverts are the "master race". And if things weren't bad enough, the press and news label us, the introverts, as killers or murderers. I've noticed that in most articles (about the murders) the authors write that the killer was shy, anxious or introverted as a child. I find that to be bull, because that has almost nothing to do with the sudden killing spree. But alas, there are idiots that believe that ALL introverts, or people that don't talk much, are some freaks that will one day kill everyone in their sight. They are brainwashing people into thinking that the only way to succeed in life is to be social, extroverted, etc.

Oh, and guys, there is an awesome channel on YouTube that is focused on the topic of "introverts VS extroverts". Here are a few videos:

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FUbJMzZETIo

 

[CapnKrunk 307]

As a silent person,somewhat.If you want to have a better relationship with people.You have to talk more with others.I can understand why people are silent.

 

First of all.It's sometimes hard to put your thoughts into actual speaking words.Quiet people have the loudest minds.Second, mostly gets you,and stay out of trouble.Think more.Talk less.

There's nothing wrong with being quiet.

Edited March 13, 2013 by Flutter derps

[TailsIsNotAlone 3,695]

Yeah, pretty much. It seems recent generations were never taught the old saying, "Tis better to remain silent and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and remove all doubt." What you have, as a result, is a society that rewards empty chatter and self-promotion and discourages introspection.

 

Remember kids, you're supposed to talk, work, party, buy stuff and stare at your phones all day so you don't have time to think. Thinking is dangerous. Nothing spoils a great idea or a good time like rational thought. You're supposed to react but not to act, to complain but not to question, to "OMG" but not to wonder.

 

And it's the quiet ones you've gotta watch.

[fluffpudge 148]

Looked down on? I'm super shy because I wasn't socialized as a child, going into my teens. I can barely talk to someone at the grocery store without getting anxiety. But I've never really had someone trash talk me for being shy. 

 

There's a difference between sitting there, never smiling, keeping your head down all the time. I offer friendly smiles to even just people I walk by in the hallway if we make eye contact. I try to acknowledge people in my classes. I guess I'm not exactly super quiet at school anymore, but I'm still shy when dealing with new people- and from what I've experienced..people are pretty okay with it?

 

I mean- if you at least smile when someone is talking to you, you're fine. Joke around if people prod at the fact you're quiet, it's no big deal. Body language is important if you're shy.

[HungryTroll 137]

I was quiet for all my life, does that mean that I can't talk to people? No, I don't think so, a lot of people thought that I'm extrovert at first time we met. But I just fast geting tired from communication, and even more I don't see reason in it. That's who I'm. That who introverts are. Thought about it most of time its not shyness it's just imposibility to find reason of communication, and guilt because of it. Yes I've one day undestended that I'm not shy, it's just my excuse to not talk to people then I have to (come on, since childhood almost every one listens everythere that all normal people communicate a lot). But I'm not shy, I just doing what I want!

And about being looked down upon - by extroverts may be yes, since it's ok for them to intercommunicate a lot and have fun from it.

I have mush more to write, but it's too tiresome for me. Hope that I had stated my thoughts clear enough.