Make up a Top Gear and Stig intro!

[Wardaddy 470]

Title says it all. Anyone who does not watch Top Gear is welcome to read this thread, and try your hoof at making your own.

 

Basically, think up your own intro to Top Gear, and a description for the Stig. Both can be as random as you like. An example is shown below.

 

Top Gear intro

 

Tonight on Top Gear, I wear a hat, James wears a hat, and Richard wears a hat.

 

Stig description

 

Some say, that he invented an new energy drink from the urine of a baby tapir. *brief pause*

Others say, that he invented a time machine using a ladder, and a shoe. *Another brief pause*

All we know is, he's called the Stig.

 

Now its your turn!

Edited July 13, 2013 by Firebolt Blitz

[stainesbrony 219]

Intro:

Today, I say *bleep*, James gets into a whole load of *bleep* and Richard calls a Mexican a *2-minute long bleep*

 

Stig description:

Some say that his favourite film is 'You Only Live Where Eagles Dare To Spy Who Loved The Great Guns Of The Great Moons Escape Twice' (made by us) *brief pause*

Others say that he is really Chuck Norris. *another brief pause*

All we know, is that he's called the Stig!

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

Tonight! I open a can. James throws a rock at a pigeon. And Hammond looks disgustedly at a packet of frozen peas.

 

 

 

Some say that he was fired from his first job for wearing a live fox to work. Others say that he created the town of Stratford-upon-Avon.

[Le Kvlt Dawn 2,368]

Tonight, I get attacked by an old person, James gets kicked in the plums and Richard eats a hamburger.

 

Some say that he was raised by stray cats after his parents were killed by a pack of raccoons, other's say that he can communicate with rabbits and once tried marrying one. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

Edited July 12, 2013 by AtDawnTheySquee

[Wardaddy 470]

Tonight, I get attacked by an old person, James gets kicked in the plums and Richard eats a hamburger.

 

Some say that he was raised by stray cats after his parents were killed by a pack of raccoons, other's say that he can communicate with rabbits and once tried marrying one. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

I don't know about the Stig description, but the intro sounds like it got ripped from the episode where Jeremy and co. try out Chinese cars and where Hammond experiences NASCAR. I'd try again if I were you, try to make it more original. In fact, anyone who posts here cannot rip their intros and Stig descriptions from the show. They have to be entirely of your own creation.  

Intro:

 

Tonight! I grow a beard, James gets sick, and Hammond uses the Force.

 

 

Stig description

 

Some say that he is worshipped across Mexico as the god of a religion known as, Stiggyanity *brief pause*

Others say that his ultimate weakness is squirrels *Another brief pause*

All we know is, he's called the Stig!

Edited July 13, 2013 by Firebolt Blitz

[Le Kvlt Dawn 2,368]

I don't know about the Stig description, but the intro sounds like it got ripped from the episode where Jeremy and co. try out Chinese cars and where Hammond experiences NASCAR. I'd try again if I were you, try to make it more original. In fact, anyone who posts here cannot rip their intros and Stig descriptions from the show. They have to be entirely of your own creation.

 

Intro:

 

Tonight! I grow a beard, James gets sick, and Hammond uses the Force.

 

 

Stig description

 

Some say that he is worshipped across Mexico as the god of a religion known as, Stiggyanity *brief pause*

Others say that his ultimate weakness is squirrels *Another brief pause*

All we know is, he's called the Stig!

I haven't seen any of the newer episodes, jerk.

[Wardaddy 470]

I haven't seen any of the newer episodes, jerk.

Sorry, my bad. Anyway, it'll do.

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

Tonight, I shake hands with a man. James steps on a hat. And Hammond stabs himself in the foot with a flagpole.

 

 

Some say that his feet are classed as a biological weapon. Others say that ever since the incident with the cheese fondue, he is never to be allowed to enter North Wales. All we know is, he's called the Stig.

[Transblitz 129]

Tonight, I sit on a throne, James joins the army, and Hammond tries some fish.

 

Some say he is the Element of Speed, and that he has recently developed a rivalry with a mare named Wildfire. All we know is, he's called the Stig

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

Tonight: A man looks at the sky. A homeless person tries to eat James. And a cat sits in a Ferrari.

 

 

Some say that he can open a jar of jam with only his pinky finger. Others say that he refused an offer from Marvel to make a comic out of him, based on the fact that they "put his ears in the wrong place". All we know is, he's called the Stig.

[stainesbrony 219]

TONIGHT, ON TOP GEAR, JEREMY EATS COLD FOOD, JAMES LOOKS AT A DUCK AND RICHARD SAYS APPLE

 

Some say his racing leathers are prized medicines in China, Others say that ever since that encounter with an englishman, an irishman and a welshman in a bar, he has been banned from Scotland. All we know is, he's called The Stig.

[LittleMac 3,085]

Tonight on Top Gear, I punch the producer, James does hopscotch and Hammond eats a Big Mac!

 

Some say that he was once beat Super Mario Bros. on a Sega Genesis. Others say that the devil made a deal with HIM in exchange for the devil's soul. All we know is, he's called The Stig

 

(Was the producer thing too much? XD)

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

Tonight, on Top Gear: I punch a guy in the face, James makes a phone call, and Hammond cuts bread.

 

Some say he's watched four seasons of My Little Pony. Some say his saliva induces paralysis, and his breath is primarily nitrus oxide. All we know is, he's called the Stig!

 

---

 

Tonight, on Top Gear: I punch a guy, James drives a punch buggy, and Hammond makes fruit punch.

 

Some say he's flirted with over a hundred sexy singles in his area. Some say he's won more than a dozen free iPads. Still, others say he is nine hundred and thirty two years old, and born last Tuesday. All we know is, he's the Stig!

Edited June 4, 2015 by Admiral Regulus

[An Unknown Pony. 370]

Tonight,on Top Gear,I try to carjack Richard's Challenger without keys,James says 'Oh Cock' for the 101st time,and Richard Squeaks like a hamster.

 

Some Say,He is a man in a suit of a suit of a suit of a suit of a suit,And when given a important mission he will skive off to play chess with his clones.All we know is,He's called the stig

[Attack of the Pwns 894]

Tonight, I become an alicorn, James is banished to the moon, and Richard annoys Tirek in Tartarus.

 

Some say that his favorite meal is cottage cheese

...

and that his undergarments are made of "rich Corinthian leather"

...

All we know is, he's called the Stig!

[~Chaotic Eddie~ 479]

Tonight! It's a bit foggy in Dorset. A man steps over a pair of glasses. And James does absolutely nothing.

 

 

 

 

Some say that he routinely drinks water from the Thames to keep his immune system going. Others say that his fetish for samurai swords means that he has had seven replacement gentlemen's sausages. All we know is, he's called the Stig!