Hape (hugging without consent): your thoughts on it?

[Stellafera 3,836]

I think that it's bad that we are slowly drifting away from each other, becoming more distant. Sight of people hugging or just showing obvious signs of sympathy towards each other is getting more and more rare around here

 

Not liking hugs ≠ being emotionally distant

 

My older sister is the kind of person who's super touchy feely. Loves hugs and stuff. I'm the opposite. My friends know to leave me out of group hugs because... that's not really my thing. 

 

I can express my emotions in other ways just fine.

[Sir Hugsalot 9,352]

Not liking hugs ≠ being emotionally distant

 

My older sister is the kind of person who's super touchy feely. Loves hugs and stuff. I'm the opposite. My friends know to leave me out of group hugs because... that's not really my thing. 

 

I can express my emotions in other ways just fine.

I guess I wrote that post in slightly wrong way. I meant people who go to the point, where they despise others doing it. Sorry, my bad. 

[cmarston1 5,959]

Online I have no problems with it (but then again I never received hugs online) so there it doesn't seem to be much of an issue.

But coming from experience in real life it is absolutely horrible!!!

I have never been that much for physical contact or at least with people that I don't like and having to deal with obnoxious morons getting that close to me and having their grimy bodies touch mine is repulsive.

Also the title can be a little bit offensive and should be called something else in my opinion.

So online it is okay but in real life it is really really really annoying and people should know better.

[Guest]

Hape.... offensive? No. Slightly funny if someone says it jokingly. If someone actually believes they got "haped" and get upset.... I'll find them to be ignorant and to be overreacting.

 

Online hugs are "meh" to me. Unless it's a close friend.

[Arctic Night 884]

I don't think "hape" is a good term to use personally, but I think it would be silly to get upset over it.

[Tigerpop198 696]

Do not try to hug me. I do not want the fake appreciation. I don't know sounds kind of odd to me.

[Carbon Maestro 1,003]

I think it's offensive because it resembles a word that I definitely stand against...

 

The fact that "rape" can be joked around and not taken seriously comes off as a very immature remark to say...

 

I stand by my case.

[Undubbed Wubs 93]

*hugs the 46% who voted "Like" on stranger hugs*

[Sigma 768]

I for one would much rather call them surprise hugs. Hape sounds... You know what it sounds like.

 

Hugs from friends online without permission: Yes please.

Hugs from strangers online without permission: Yes please.

Hugs from friends in real life without permission: Only if the time is appropriate.

Hugs from strangers in real life without permission: (Head-butts, gut-kicks, and runs away.)

 

Would I hug a friend online without permission?: Yes.

Would I hug a stranger online without permission?: Yes, but I'd leave a P.S saying that I'm sorry if I sent chills down their spine.

Would I hug a friend in real life without permission?: Considering that I plan on coming out soon, only if I'm sure they won't take it the wrong way.

Would I hug a stranger in real life without permission?: Buck no.

 

Hugs anyone?

Edited June 18, 2014 by Asterisk Propernoun

[Dattebayo 2,850]

I hate it when people touch me, in general. Hugs, doubly so.

So, like, no. On all fronts.

 

Even internet ones, because it's silly.

 

And I don't think hape is offensive.

I've known close people who've been sexually assaulted, I've witnessed first-hand how it breaks you as a person.

Yet...It's just a word. A bastardization of the word "rape", and it deserves all it gets coming to it.

[John 793]

I've gotten sarcastic hugs from people before, and until you know what those are like, you will probably vote that hape is permissable.  I don't think that embracing someone you are not familiar with without their consent is a good display of your care for them, as you are not considering that maybe they don't like to be touched.  It's putting your needs before considering theirs.  O.o

[Rainbow S.D. 546]

Over the years I become more and more socially awkward.  Like, I don't even know what to respond to "What's Up?" anymore. I had to search on Google! And super awkward on the phone.  So I only enjoy hugs from relatives when it is appropriate. The term "hape" can be offensive to some people because it's turning something serious into a joke. 

[Steve 290]

i dont find this offensive. but i can name about 20 million and a slice of pizza of other people who would find it offensive

 

and im indifferent towards online hugging

[kelseymarie805 301]

I think it's nice!! Online, I don't mind at all if people hug me (even if I don't know them), but, in person, I would prefer to know the person, or at least spent time with them. Although I don't mind whenever I'm meeting someone and they randomly hug me instead a giving a handshake, but, tbh if I was walking down the street and someone randomly decided to hug me (whom I didn't know), that'd be a little weird, I wouldn't be comfortable with that......

[Scootaloo Is Best Filly 578]

I am sorta indifferent to the term " hape"I can see how some would be offended , especially if they or someone they know has been raped.

 

I love getting online hugs. I don't care if you're a friend/ or new to a forum if the moment is right, I will hug you.

 

Online hugs just make me feel really happy. And when I give an online hug, the way I see it I am making everyone else as happy as me, now, who could say no to that?

 

[crisahys 149]

It's always my own choice not to hape others because growing up in the music industry, I was taught to not get close to musicians unless they know me, so I was pretty conditioned not to hape other people, but I do let others hape me. As a matter of fact, due to the friendship you ponies have proven to me...

[SomariFeyWright 776]

The thing about it is that the term rape, which we all know and despise for needing to exist, already holds certain negative contexts and is overall viewed as a very bad thing.

 

I feel rather uncomfortable calling it hape, because in a way, it almost implies that its a bad thing. Of course, that isn't to say its okay to not respect people's personal space, or come out of nowhere and snuggle em, but hape, in its purest form, sounds like something very nice and pleasant. Heck, I don't mind it myself as long as its in jest or when really needed. It gives me such an awkward and warm feeling.

 

... I vouch not to call it hape, though. Please.

[Princess Periwinkle 3,775]

A few years before I started going to my college, there was a serial hugger incidence on campus. Just as you might imagine, an unidentified male would sneak up on people late at night and hug them before running off.

 

^ That's kinda creepy.

 

As far as the term "hape", I don't think it's offensive.

[Invincible 2,092]

How did a topic about this even get started!? Who even decided to coin this word, seriously? I don't mean to be rude here, but that's the stupidest thing i've heard in a while.

 

To answer the topic, however... I like being given a hug as a friendly or a reassuring gesture, and i like giving ones too, when i feel the need or am just being friendly. If i see someone actively refuse being hugged, i'll stop.

[Sunny Fox 5,952]

Online, it's little more than a smiley or the like.

 

In real life, it's a violation of personal space, and goes against the idea that no one has the right to touch you unless you want them to. Certain allowances are made for friends or family. As a teacher, if a young students hugs me for some reason, I'm okay with it, although I do have a pretty well-defined personal space bubble. (Although, of course, I would never hug a student on my own initiative...) And not full body hugs in either case. Squicky implications avoided...? Good...

 

As for the term itself, I'm not sure. On one side, rape is something that should absolutely not be treated lightly. On the other, perhaps the real life version is serious enough to warrant it... as an online term, I think it should be avoided.

Edited July 15, 2014 by Sunny Fox

[ReGen 1,466]

Okay, I have to admit, I chuckled a bit when I saw "Hape" and what it meant. I'm sure by the laws of the universe, what that term makes light of is going to have some part in my life. Oh well, that's what I get for having a sense of humor!

 

Getting "haped" (Oh gosh...) in real life? Eeeehhh... it really depends. I have a friend who does it often, and I don't really mind since she's pretty cool and I do enjoy hugs. From a stranger or someone i'm not particularly fond of? I'd honestly be equally flattered, confused and/or frightened.

 

Online? Does anyone do that online?

[Omega Centauri 317]

HOW COULD ANYONE NOT CONSENT TO A HUG?

[Frosty Flurry 173]

I hape people all the time!

Usually to comfort them

And I'm a bit of a softy

But I'm very all and suprisingly strong for a girl so.....

I could snap someone in half

[Zygen 6,066]

Ok well, as far as the word "hape" goes I honestly think while I'm not offended by it because I've never been friends with anyone or known anyone really who has been raped, I can see why others could easily be offended, so honestly it feels like a needless term that adds a negative sided connotation to a thing that really shouldn't be that way.

 

I think "Surprise hug" or something of that nature works better. It is much less likely to offend someone as a term, and doesn't carry this connotation to it. Sure it may not offend everyone, but I can see why it would offend some, and I just feel it would be better not to refer to it as "hape" 

 

Now, I myself have done plenty of hugging on the internet, seriously I love hugs or just getting little *hugs* on the internet, because it just makes me feel like people actually care, even without the physical portion of the whole thing, it's kind of like a sign that is similar to having someone say" I care about you!" It just makes me feel warm inside and happy .

 

As far as IRL physical hugs, i still like hugs, don't get me wrong, but I can also be really awkward when it comes to hugs.

 

For instance I never really can tell when greeting someone if they want a hug or a handshake or what, I'm just really bad at that portion of identifying things, part of it may come from my social inexperience I still slightly possess from being homeschooled a good chunk of my life, but honestly I never got that part of reading people down very well, so sometimes I'll go to like handshake someone who wants a hug, or hug someone who wants a fist bump, ect. 

 

That said I love hugs, I really do, it makes me feel really cared for, even if to be honest I don't feel I get them all that often, or they sometimes don't feel very whole hearted, but I do like hugs, especially when you can feel the feelings of care from it. I mean there are people I hug I don't know as well, and I don't feel I get much out of those typically, it's hard to explain, but I feel some hugs feel more meaningful than others, and those are the ones I really like.

 

But I like all kinds of hugs regardless, as long as they have good intentions! 

 

I can also be kind of awkward about hugging in general, as sometimes when someone hugs me and I don't totally expect it(mostly due to being unable to read them or something.) I can be kind of awkward at first, but I do like the hug, it's just I don't quite expect it, which can make it seem like I don't enjoy the hug, even if I just might not have it register in my brain all the time.

 

Hopefully that makes sense.

 

As far as hugs from random strangers, I can't say a stranger has hugged me to often, but well to be honest due to the fact I don't have the easiest time trusting people I think stranger hugs are usually kind of awkward, I like them, but I'm usually to busy contemplating them to really appreciate them. But I do appreciate the good intentions behind them. 

 

Still, while I don't mean to sound cold or anything, strangers going up and hugging me randomly(especially if it's just someone I don't know at all and haven't even had a conversation with) can be kind of awkward for me, more so than hugs from friends which are usually just me failing to know when they're coming, thus making me seem like I don't like hugs(Even if I do).

 

I can't say I hug random strangers though, i'm much to shy, infact I don't really hug anyone unless I feel I atleast have some knowledge that they won't mind it. Or I think they won't mind it, mostly due to shyness really, but I do also understand some people just aren't comfortable with physical contact, which is fine. They can show and receive affection other ways, and i'm sure they have their reasons.

 

Whew... I can't believe I got so rambly and detailed over hugs xD. Sorry about the rambling!

[Celli 4,339]

Uhh, no not at all. Hugs are great. They're also FREE!