Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"I crossed the street and considered the women. No one reached for a rock. I took this as a good sign."

 

[epiccuttlefish 112]

"I reject all of your vowels."

[epiccuttlefish 112]

"It looked like an about-even mix of blood and chocolate."

"Sounds like the worst mixed-drink ever."

[epiccuttlefish 112]

"Taking a knife to a gunfight is generally a bad idea, but so is taking a gun to a gunfight, because then you're at a gunfight, and those aren't very fun."

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"We need to have a conversation about how f---ing dangerous this is"

 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"Firstly, it's really annoying in that it refuses to lie flat, and secondly, the cats just can't stop playing with it"

 

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

You’re a Weeizard, Harry.  

[Denim&Venöm 18,712]

"Somewhere out there is the world's worst neurosurgeon. And they have a patient this week."  

[Treeglow Flicker 13,619]

It tastes too creamy.

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

I'm going to miss all this when I'm dead.

 

[The Recherche 29,967]

"Don't forget the repair of a romantic relationship between two sesame seeds."

[Denim&Venöm 18,712]

"You wanna see the overhead kicks I can do in this fking dress?" 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

Gonna take your mama out all night, yeah we'll show her what it's all about.
We'll get her jacked up on some cheap champagne we'll let the good times all roll out.

 

Edited March 22, 2019 by Tropical Melody

[epiccuttlefish 112]

"Despite being in prison, getting a bowling ball he couldn’t use, and finding a sandwich in his slice of pie, Cobbler said it was one of the best Sire’s Days he’d ever had."

[epiccuttlefish 112]

“Hey, this stuff tastes like turpentine, except without the awfulness!”

“I am mildly concerned you know what turpentine tastes like.”

[epiccuttlefish 112]

"You know you’re having a bad day when someone who wishes to advocate genocide on a third of the population and is literally called “Lord Puppy Stomper of House Tyranny” gets a smile of relief."

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

Top tip - don't get so drunk that you then think it funny to text pix of the burlesque show back to your missus during the course of the evening performance.

 

[epiccuttlefish 112]

“WE ARE NOT A BUNCH OF LOOSE CANNONS! WE ARE A SINGLE, FIGHTING UNIT! NEXT TIME THINK BEFORE YOU UNLEASH THE FURY OF A DOZEN DYING SUNS!”

[Here No Longer 5,276]

"That's a lot of extra protein." 

[Lord Valtasar 12,690]

It was sausage suicide

[Denim&Venöm 18,712]

"It's sorta like James Bond, if the legendary English spy was wiped out on crack and decided to join Swedish metalers Meshuggah." 

[Tropical Melody 6,049]

"Wi-Fi?? Oo I dunno what that is. I'm still in the Stone Age. Even my telephone at home I have to wind up with a handle."

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,712]

"All strippers are pole dancers but not all pole dancers are strippers." 

[Quinch 1,120]

5:15 AM][REDACTED] I will live forever!

 

[10:14 AM][REDACTED] In the hearts and minds and nightmares of everyone I've met.

Edited March 24, 2019 by Quinch

[Denim&Venöm 18,712]

"Tonight, the emperor has a speedo."