I just killed my roommate

[TheBronyHeart 2,641]

As you all DON'T know, last week I got a new roommate, and his name was Fred.

 

Today I killed Fred, and now im posting about it so that you can understand our "relationship".

 

Fred is... WAS a spider. I am not arachniphobic and in fact I appreciate the help the spiders have been giving with all the bugs around here. So Fred decides that he likes me enough to move into my room, and he starts putting webs on everything I havn't touched in 5 hours. The first time I actually saw fred, was when I was posting something else here on the forums when suddenly a spider is crawling through mid air a few centimters from my face... now keep in mind that i like spiders, but i dot like them in my personal space like that. And so my first reaction was to make him go "BYE BYE" but I failed in my attempt.

 

The next day he is making a web on one of my wall posters...

 

 

 

I decide that I don't want any more webs in my already dirty room... and thiws leads to my second attempt at murder... which also fails.

But this time it was just wierd, I mean I swear he was right underneath the object I was trying to crush him with... but no. He just dissapeared.

 

After this incident i gained almost a respect for this spider... i mean, he had avoided death and never really did anything to harm me. So I think we had a mutual friendship coming on.

 

 

 

And this morning... oh dear luna.... this morning I did it. I finally killed him. And now I feel bad.

 

 

________________________________________________________________________________

 

**LATER THAT DAY**

 

After questioning my sanity and my right to go on living as a human being... i discovered that I am a horrible person for what I did, and so today a went to every spider that I could find in my house and I gave a unique and sincere apology to each and every one. I also searched far and wide looking for the perfect new roommate, and I found one. (Maybe finally someone will catch those ANNOYING FLIES!!!!)

 

So yeah, I have a new spider roommate, and I am going to start writing down our adventures and turn them into a story...

Edited August 30, 2012 by TheBronyHeart

[indySkye 39]

I'm not going to lie, but you startled me.

I thought you were referring to Fred, the guy from Youtube. Jeez... had me a little worried

[null1 606]

Are you sure Fred was a male? Or did you speculate? He could have been a she, she could have had children. You could have possibly orphaned hundreds of baby spiders. How could you?

[Charming Knight 56]

well if fred was a girl make sure to murder those hundred of orphaned spider children as well, i like spiders when they stay outside not in my room... 1 step in here is a act of war! and he punishment is death....

[Arylett Charnoa 4,919]

This thread appears to be some manner of random (but strangely enjoyable) nonsense, or something spammy of the sort. Thus, it has been sentenced to the Forum Lounge section of Cloudsdale Colosseum. This is an automatically generated message, by the way.

[WhiteLightning 339]

xD Wow, that actually made me laugh for the first time in a week again!

 

I genuinely thought you were serious but then I read it and realised it was a spider!

 

Still, why'd you do that man? Not cool man, not cool.

[Key Gear 6,663]

You killed Fred question mark exclamation mark

 

You monster exclamation mark exclamation mark exclamation mark

[Taco Horse 116]

Oh no Fred only wants you to think he's dead, somewhere he is plotting his revenge involving a trampoline, the worlds largest mirror, a waffle iron and a giant shoe.

Edited August 29, 2012 by TheGameBrony

[Guest]

 

You monster, how could you!?

[Jokuc 8,173]

AAAAWWWW FUUUUUUUU

I thought you killed that HIiiI iTZ FrRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEe333EEEDdd!-guy D:

You made me disappointed

Edited August 29, 2012 by Mr. Nibblers

[Driz 1,552]

How could you?? Fred loved you!! He just wanted to be loved back!! ((((((((((((

 

R.I.P. Fred the Spider

[TheBronyHeart 2,641]

As if I didnt already feel bad enough about it... But you should all know, Fred was a stalker. He was always watching me... and I swear, everytime I turned around he was near me.

[Evilshy 5,090]

You're a horrible person. Spiders are our friends, and Fred was more. Fred was YOUR friend. You think you can just say you're sad about it and it'll be fine? No, fuck you.

 

I hope you die in a ditch, and may a thousand Solifuges (closely related to spiders) devour your corpse in the most desecrating way they can thing of.

[TheBronyHeart 2,641]

After questioning my sanity and my right to go on living as a human being... i discovered that I am a horrible person for what I did, and so today a went to every spider that I could find in my house and I gave a unique and sincere apology to each and every one. I also searched far and wide looking for the perfect new roommate, and I found one. (Maybe finally someone will catch those ANNOYING FLIES!!!!)

 

So yeah, I have a new spider roommate, and I am going to start writing down our adventures and turn them into a story...

 

Nothing I do can forgive me of what I did to fred... but i will still try to make up for it.

[Viridian Daybreak 66]

I don't really like spiders. I mean, there's one by the backdoor that killed a wasp (yeah!). But there's this sideways tree in my backyard whose trunk works as a bridge across our creek--there was a little landslide or something. And there are sooo many spiders there and now I don't wanna risk playing on it anymore. :/ Not to mention one built a web so I couldn't access one of my creek crossing spots (that story is irrelevant).

 

Anywho, what's your new roommate's name?

[TheBronyHeart 2,641]

I don't really like spiders. I mean, there's one by the backdoor that killed a wasp (yeah!). But there's this sideways tree in my backyard whose trunk works as a bridge across our creek--there was a little landslide or something. And there are sooo many spiders there and now I don't wanna risk playing on it anymore. :/ Not to mention one built a web so I couldn't access one of my creek crossing spots (that story is irrelevant).

 

Anywho, what's your new roommate's name?

 

Oh his name is Fred.

[Aerial~Shot 177]

As I was reading this thread, a fly flew by me and I swatted at it, then suddenly realized what I was doing. Don't worry. It's safe. I missed.

[Clawdeen 12,189]

R.I.P Fred. Murdered by your own friend.

[Guest]

I don’t need to read this post for context. 
 

Spoiler

Here’s some quick advice, when you are digging the body, make sure to put it about 8 feet deep. Then put a dead animal or something about 5 feet above it. This way, when the K-9 unit comes in, at most, they’ll dig up the animal and just think it’s the animal. Anyway, happy hunting!