WHAT THE BUCK DID YOU SAY!?
Okay, look. Apple doesn't suck. They may be overrated, overpriced, overhyped and under-performing in light of these facts, but they don't suck. Apple products offer a unique form of status to go perfectly with your Strawbucks Coffee and superior morality like no 'Pearsonal Computer' could ever hope to achieve. Apples don't suck. Apple products lead new breakthroughs in technology as recently as 10 years ago and make sure you never forget it. Because they don't suck. Apple will help you buck different, with or without good grammar, by loyally following the most widespread consumerist trends of the day. So don't let those heathens and naysayers try to dissuade you. Take a bite out of the fruit from the tree of the knowledge of Mac and evil. Join us, buy us, grab your piePhone and ZapBook and let the eternal blessed light of our savior Steve shine upon you.
Buck different.
P.S. Oh, and if y'all are feeling a little hungry and lookin' for some old fashioned processed breakfastly relief, come on down to your local market and grab some nutritious Applejacks cereal! They're delicious and that's the Honest Truth!*