How would you defend yourself if a pony fights you?

[The Nth Doctor 662]

Roll over, play dead and hope for a quick death

[Akari of Duskshire 581]

It'd depend on context.  If my life or the lives of my loved ones were in danger, it would be my martial arts and anything I could get my hands on against them.  But otherwise...

 

Edited December 7, 2015 by Akari of Duskshire

[Tonyan 122]

Having to fight any pony, either it is a ground, pegasis or unicorns, wouldn't be much of a problem if you know how to fight properly. But if we talk in a context where you live in Equestria as a human, and you are a civilian like other ponies;

 

Fighting will be a truly rare case and won't truly happen unless the opponent is very dangerous or mentaly unstable, OR, if you are a dangerous being yourself and go on a rampage because ''god knows why'' you're evil.

 

+ If we keep the same context, the Alicorn leaders of Equestria are there to maintain peace and keep order in the land, so I don't see why you would have to fight one of them anyway. UNLESS, again, you're an evil being and go on a rampage and god knows why.

 

 

Peace and mercy is the way to go. Violence doesn't lead anywhere anyway, excepted for extreme situations.

Edited December 5, 2015 by Tonyan

[Fluttershyfan94 5,742]

I'm not certain what type of ways I'd have to defend myself as a pony, therefore I would go with a knife or something. Of course if a gun is available for ponies or even better a dragon then I'd use either of those. Still I don't think a dragon would be easy to keep around not if it's big at least. So I'd go for the magic of guns.

[Kenshiro 13,493]

I would use my Hokuto Shinken to seal the pony's hooves to prevent harm to the others   '''

Edited December 5, 2015 by Kenshiro

[Tonyan 122]

I'd be very surprised if Equestria had guns. Sure, they might have cannons, but guns, I would highly doubt about it, unless it happens in a futuristic timeline.

[Humphrey 49]

I am a engineer, and I believes the magic is a higher form of science. If I have to defend myself,I will probably find a way to reverse engineer the equestria Magic and build something that can create a similar magic, or just a dampening field to prevent ponies use their magic.

[cider float 2,538]

I would tell you but it's too gruesome for this site.

[DixonTheAdversary 1,632]

I guess it depends where we are fighting. If we are in a very open area with nothing around then I'll be haulin' ass around that time. But if we are in a crowded place I'd probably grab the nearest thing to me and run in to fail miserably and get brutally wounded or get killed.

[Detritus 258]

"Accidentally" blow out a fart during the battle, and then kill the pony when he/she is distracted laughing at it.

[Confucius 194]

Tell them I'm from Taco Bell and wish to take them to the slaughter house.

 

Otherwise it depends on the pony as an Earth Pony could be stopped by a simple gun and decent suit of armor.

 

A Pegasus's main strength is the ability to fly and use the wind so a good counter would be to use the wind against the Pegasus by either stopping it or stirring it up. Also electricity is very useful against flying things such as wires and anything that can generate a channeled amount of static. Mythical weapons like electro magic, Zeus's lightning bolt, or Thor's hammer.

 

Now unicorns are a tough foe as magic could be anything depending on the unicorn. One way to defeat magic is having magic of your own that counters their magic. Magic resisting armor or weapons (think deadpool's anti regeneration sword) could be useful. Also having some sort of way to steal or drain magic would help in that kind of situation. Usually magic requires some kind of other godly weapon to kill it. Or you could try to out brute it and just crush it with a meteor or something.

[LeonShi500 155]

Lol, so many badasses here, planning detailed strategies about how they would fight cartoon ponies.

 

In all honesty though, I don't know what I would do. Try to hug them? 

Edited December 7, 2015 by LeonShi500

[SugarfootWillie 383]

the way I would defend myself from an attacking pony would be to redirect it until the pony gave up. If need be i'd hit a few leg joints.

 

But before that use civil discourse.

[Prophet 672]

With Dark magic

death by tentacles

o u o

[Celtore 2,770]

Try to stop them from wanting to fight by trying to talk some sense back into them. I know a little physical defense, but it would be entirely useless here and probably a really bad move to try.

[Steel Accord 6,660]

A gun and if things get really bad threaten them with a nuclear bomb. XD

 

Or get a nice pony friend of mine to protect me.

 

A nuke, for one pony? Overkill is not a sufficient descriptor.

I'd be very surprised if Equestria had guns. Sure, they might have cannons, but guns, I would highly doubt about it, unless it happens in a futuristic timeline.

 

Well Dash did mention "the big guns" said she needed "something fast like a bullet" and named her pet "Tank." So I think it's safe to assume they exist in some fashion they just evidently aren't that common. Which doesn't surprise me as really, do they need guns?

[StormdustPony 471]

Shit myself, Get Naked, (By that time they will hopefully be looking away)  RUN AWAY!!!!!

[Anneal 2,197]

Obviously...

> Spare > Spare > Spare > Spare > Spare > Spare > Spare

 

Acquire G.

Edited December 7, 2015 by Sealand

[Solid 1,327]

How I would defend myself if I was attacked by any other person/animal/thing.

[RavenholmZombie 1,330]

If the aggressor is a unicorn, then I'd really have no other option but to use a gun because they could kill me with a single spell. Same would go for a pegasus because they could use their ability to fly as a tool against me (they can attack from the air), but if the aggressor was an Earth Pony, then i would defend myself by using my ten years of martial arts training.

Edited December 7, 2015 by Lance Shield

[WriteCodes46 178]

Pick up the phone, lock myself in the closet and call 911, then wait until the cops or SPCA deal with it.

[Steve Piranha 29,424]

I dunno how I'll defend myself with unicorns, and pegasi if they keep their distance, but if they charge, I might be able to make a grip on their heads and aim for a choke-hold 

[Rafa Stary 2,986]

You know I'd rather just run away or forfeit the fight 

[AstraLotus 24]

 

Unarmed: Unless it was an extremely young foal or really elderly, all I could hope is that I die as quick and painless as possible.

Average Earth ponies are much stronger than IRL horses who are already known to be able to one-hit kill adult humans.

A pegasus going at decent flying speed just accidentally running into you would kill you. Getting hit by ~500 pound object at 50mph, especially with steel hooves is not a good day.  A more extreme case, like Rainbow Dash going supersonic.

Unicorn magic has no real counter. Sweetie Belle could probably still ragdoll a heavyweight champion. With a more extreme case, like suped-up alicorn twilight, one can hope she doesn't incidentally destroy the entire city block in the process.

Armed with a gun: I doubt this would be effective considering how durable ponies have shown to be. Plus a pegasus or unicorn would probably get to you first if you're within say a mile (teleportation or going extremely fast), and depending on the distance of the encounter, an earth pony might too.

Armed with a rocket launcher: Considering even foals can survive explosions, I think this would enrage the pony that you ruined his/her mane.

 

On 2024-06-03 at 8:15 PM, Rafa Stary said:

You know I'd rather just run away or forfeit the fight 

Almost any pony could outrun any human, at the least. Some pegasi can go supersonic, and not to mention teleportation. Maybe trying to run will make the pony decide not to fight you. Forfeiting or begging for help sounds like a good option too.

[Treeglow Flicker 13,622]

Flap my arms while doing seagull impressions until the attacking pony gets confused and decides to just walk away while wondering what the hay is wrong with me.