Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Denim&Venöm 18,553]

“Now,” she whispered huskily, “We break in to Sunset's apartment.”

[Samurai Equine 50,712]

I think this year really breaks the record of people wishing me a happy birthday. I feel so loved! 

[Denim&Venöm 18,553]

“We’re in this line, lined up like ants. Would you? Could you? Drop your pants?"

[Denim&Venöm 18,553]

"You have 5 dogs and someone wants 2 of them. How many dogs do you have left?

"5." 

"OK. Let's say someone forcefully takes 2 dogs. What do you have now?" 

"5 dogs and food for a week." 

 

 

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

My rules about shipping:

• Don't break the contents within
• Free shipping if possible unless it's needed right away

[Lucky Bolt 35,061]

*from last night* 

“I don’t have any f**kin help.” 

[Here No Longer 5,276]

"What is this creature coming into my room with no shirt and no pants?"

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

In comparison, people are embroidering QR codes that lead to Rickroll

[Emerald Claus 24,845]

"TELEPORTATION, Y'ALL!!!"

[Samurai Equine 50,712]

I wish I could iron like that.

1 hour ago, Spooky Emerald said:

"TELEPORTATION, Y'ALL!!!"

Zah-boo-dah dah-dah? Or maybe it was... Shoo-bee-doo woo-yeh?

[Denim&Venöm 18,553]

"The director offered to fill their buttcracks with blood to make it less offensive.

NBC agreed." 

[Tropical Melody 5,955]

The north polar continent is more user friendly — if you like jagged, glacier-crowned volcanoes, roaring torrents, hot springs, boiling mud holes, and precipitous valleys almost entirely devoid of level ground

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,553]

"You're a big ol' nuisance to local terrorist organizations, no matter how you choose to identify!" 

[Lucky Bolt 35,061]

“How come it always stinks like armpit smell in your room?”

“Cause that’s the smell of victory.” 

[Cyclone 1066 3,619]

"Did you know a soda bottle can hold 500psi?"

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

"Either way, you should probably keep your scrotum away from open flame."

[ExplosionMare 18,060]

They can’t get mad at us if we all do it at the same time.

[Samurai Equine 50,712]

Hey! Which head is the real head? Can you tell?
 

[Tropical Melody 5,955]

13 hours ago, Sunny Fox said:

"Either way, you should probably keep your scrotum away from open flame."

That is hysterical ! ..

That's made my day ta very much

 

 

[Tropical Melody 5,955]

"It was a little late for the summer of love, but the spirit was willing. Man. Revolution was in the air, and things like that."

 

[Samurai Equine 50,712]

The sauce keeps slipping through the holes in the scoop. Help me~!

[Sovereign Leader Rarity 12,006]

"Oh, sh*t, here we go again."

[ExplosionMare 18,060]

It’s personal because it’s my sink

[Tropical Melody 5,955]

"William will carry your bags, won't you William?"
"No I won't!" (*with Australian accent*)
"Hah well! He's lapsed into his native vernacular again! Yes! 'No hai wont!' Yes! 'No hai-ah h-wunt.' Yes! Yes! It's Filipino for 'It's a pleasure'. Very colourful these Filipinos, can't keep him out of his sarong in the summer"

 

[Denim&Venöm 18,553]

"Turning the passenger airbag into a claymore mine using a coin collection."