Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Denim&Venöm 20,036]

"This is just cruel and unusual and kinda satisfying." 

[Tropical Melody 7,033]

"It wasn't my fault that I got killed. I had problems dealing with it myself."

 

[Denim&Venöm 20,036]

"Babies need like 8 years of firmware updates before they're even usable." 

 

[Denim&Venöm 20,036]

"I usually yodel to speed up the process." 

 

[Lord Chin Chin 1,212]

"As you can tell by his face that really hurt Victor"

[Cagey 4,251]

“You could start a GoFundMe.”

”Ah yes, ‘My Friends Burned My Sweater, Help Me Pay for It.’”

[Tropical Melody 7,033]

"To be honest it was hard to get some shut-eye because he never shut up and was always whistling... he was like Big Bird off Sesame Street on bleedin' steroids"

 

[Dreambiscuit 10,874]

“You’re not even a raccoon; you’re just a moldy avocado.”

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,628]

"The Carbuncle ate itself."

[Emerald Heart 25,009]

"Oh, just drinking coffee and trying to stay alive."

[Northern Star 1,024]

"Yes it worked out quite well, she got first place on her entry and I got a marriage proposal from the vice president of Toyota"

[Tropical Melody 7,033]

"He looks like he needs a good bath and a shave I think. And I don't just mean his face. You could get enough off his back to make a rug."

 

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,628]

"The Last Temptation of Christ. There we are. I've not seen that film, but I'm now gonna presume, it's just about Jesus of Nazareth holding one of these and going: "Ooo... ooo... Magnet.. Ooo." For like an hour and a half."

[Denim&Venöm 20,036]

“Didn’t you just talk about drinking your own piss?”

“It’s not MY piss…”

“I don’t think that makes it any better.”

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,628]

"ME SAD DOOR GONE"

[Cagey 4,251]

“To make friends, you have to throw verbal sht at a wall and see what sticks.”

[Cash In 22,835]

"They gave Rainbow Dash an Uzi?!"

[Brony Number 42 10,081]

"Did you learn anything today?"

"Not a thing. In fact, I'm dumber than I was this morning."

[Emerald Heart 25,009]

"For example, how old is your Grandmother?"

"She's dead."

"Okay, so you would say "Mi abuela tiene nurió."

[Ragland Tiger 3,472]

Getting a good horse is expensive, a Trojan horse even more so...

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,628]

"It's like Andrew Dice Clay, playing John Wayne Gacy. It sort of works, if this wasn't a kids film."

[Tropical Melody 7,033]

"Who's that gobshite? Because we kind of like him"

 

[Ragland Tiger 3,472]

“I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ.”

[Ruddboy Olaf 10,628]

"Look out! Here comes the maaaaaaan."

[Tropical Melody 7,033]

"Those nuts are going to be hot aren't they?"