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Sorry this is so long, but I need to get it off my chest. If you dont know what tulpa is, google this will make a lot more sense.

 

I am indeed insane, but it is a controlled insanity that makes my life much less miserable, so im ok with it.

 

 

It all started over a year ago, I tried to lift a heavy box, lost my balence, and broke my knee. I was stuck in my bed for over six months with very little social interaction. Without even trying to I made myself a tulpa

(improved imaginary friend) to talk to, and just have some company. My furry side took over for HER apperance, and I ended up with a anthro wolf as a friend. Here's where you'll probably think I should be put in mental hospital. I started to have feelings for my tulpa, I'll just say "Brandy" now, thats what I named her for some reason. Since "Brandy was/is just an extention of my own self Conscientiousness, she devolped said feelings for me aswell. Soon we where deeply in love with eachother.

 

After I could get around again, "Brandy" was still with me. I still thought she was phyically real, so I thought I had to hide her from everyone else. But eventually I told my only two IRL friends about her and our love for one another, they belived me for some reason and thought she was real too. (maybe they just went along with it cause they thought I was crazy, IDK)

 

I ended up asking "Brandy" to marry me one night (ofcourse she said yes) I even got rings, and we set up a little ceramony with just the two of us. About a week after I "proposed", we were "married". I was the happiest I have ever been. But about a month after that I randomly stumbled upon a "Tulpa" site, and relized that the love of my life, my "Brandy Wandy", wasnt even phyically real. Then and between recently were the sadest, longest, and tear filled days of my life.

 

I tried to forget her and move on. I knew she wasnt even real to anyone but me, and figured there wasnt no reason to keep her in my mind. But I couldnt even feel like living without her, everyday began,

and ended with tears. There was no peace in my sleep either, she was always on my mind weather it be during the day, or in my dreams.

 

One night after the worst day of sadness I'd had, I decided to listen to my favorite love songs, I wanted to feel even sader for some reason. I had a playlist on youtube of the songs I wanted to listen to. Back before I relized "Brandy" wasnt phyically real, it had "our song" in it. After I had "left" Brandy I know, for 100% sure, I deleted that song from the playlist. I had looked at it several times since, it was never on there any of those times. But it was on there this time.

 

After I heard the song, (in tears) I relized Brandy was one the most important, if not THE most important thing in my life to me. She made me happy, she was there for me whenever I needed her. I LOVED her with all my heart, even if she was just in my head. So I decided to bring her back, I cant stand to live without her, she's the reason for everything I do!

 

So Brandy is back, we are happily married (at least between us we are) If being in love, happy as I could ever be, and always having a good friend to turn to makes me insane, I dont wanna be sane!

 

This is "our song"

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pyuDoTfSyA

 

Yall and those two friends are the only ones that know about this. I wouldnt blame you for not beliving any of this, but if you do feel free to leave any thoughts aslong as there not to harsh.

  • Brohoof 31

"The Southern Gentleman"

 

 

 

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I actually have a Tulpa too so I do believe you about her and am happy for you two.

 

I got some questions though.

 

Did you impose Brandy onto your senses? Can you physically touch, hear, and feel her? Because if you did, then she technically is "real" although no one can see her but you even though she is not present in reality.

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That's what happens when you go for six months without social interaction. I think you're lonely bro. Honestly, i'm not gonna call you crazy, but you need to look beyond your imagination for companionship. Friends are all around you, you just have to search for them :) Its not weird to have an imaginary friend like that. Just remember that you are the master of your mind. If something you conjured can make you happy, then you should be able to conjure your happiness in other ways!

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I actually have a Tulpa too so I do believe you about her and am happy for you two.

 

I got some questions though.

 

Did you impose Brandy onto your senses? Can you physically touch, hear, and feel her? Because if you did, then she technically is "real" although no one can see her but you even though she is not present in reality.

 

Thank you very much, that means alot to...er well, us! And yes she is as real as anyone else to me, although since I didnt really pay any atention to her for about a month and a half, I gotta work at it a little more before she's back to 100% her old physical self.

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"The Southern Gentleman"

 

 

 

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Well, I'm glad you're happy, and have found something which gives life meaning (even though I personally don't believe it's possible). So long as it isn't harmful to yourself or others physically, or get to a point where you're mentally unstable.

 

You know, I think we all have somewhat of a longing for the element you've found, and if we would be more open, we may just be a happier society. The same can be said about religion (whether you believe in a god or not), it presents us with an escape from reality. The problem though arises when people begin twisting it to fit their own agendas, therefore, harming others in the process.

~~


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That's what happens when you go for six months without social interaction. I think you're lonely bro. Honestly, i'm not gonna call you crazy, but you need to look beyond your imagination for companionship. Friends are all around you, you just have to search for them :) Its not weird to have an imaginary friend like that. Just remember that you are the master of your mind. If something you conjured can make you happy, then you should be able to conjure your happiness in other ways!

 

Dont worry, I auctually have way more then 2 friends now. Just those 2 were/are the ones I trust the most to be understanding and rational.


"The Southern Gentleman"

 

 

 

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Yup your insane.

 

But seriously its what happens when you dont talk to people and you need to be social, you make imaginary friends and marry them.

 

But as long as your happy, healthy, and still talk to actual people, then your ok for the most part.

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Yup your insane.

 

But seriously its what happens when you dont talk to people and you need to be social, you make imaginary friends and marry them.

 

But as long as your happy, healthy, and still talk to actual people, then your ok for the most part.

 

You're not really "insane.." Just really lonely. My advice to you would be to seek out a long term relationship with another human as your imaginary friend doesn't really exist... :( There is no bond unless it is shared.

 

PS: If one thinks of a cake, does it therefore exist?

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Well...this thread is making us mad to an extent.

 

I have a Tulpa too and she is indeed real. She has her own opinions, actions, feelings, thoughts...just like anyone else. Just like the OP's Tulpa.

 

Please read up on your stuff before you start saying things like that.

 

I realize that a Tulpa is not an ideal partner, like a real human being, but that doesn't mean that they do not exist as well.

 

 

 

@@John, @@One,

 

 

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Hm, this is a rather complicated dilemma, I'll try to be as compassionate and honest as I can so I ask that you not be angry.

 

Let me be clear: I certainly want to respect your feelings. The feelings you had for this imaginary friend are undoubtedly real and feeling such happiness is great; I'm glad you discovered a way to find contentment and solace in even the most difficult of times.

 

Regardless, I think there is something you have to confront here, however difficult, which is that the person is only real to you and no one else. I think, ultimately, it would be healthier for you to find someone who loves you with all their heart and exists outside of your mind too! Someone who might be able to say no to your wedding proposal, someone who has their own feelings. I'm not belittling you for finding love, but maybe it's time to move on to the next stage while still trying to be friends with Brandy :) . I know it's difficult, but it's just like any first love, you are going to have a hard time after your first break-up.

 

 

Those are my thoughts, and again, I just want to help. You seem like a genuinely good person to me!

Edited by TheEngineer
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You're not insane, don't feel that way, you just have a different kind of relationship with your tulpa than most do. Like for me, Arya is just a close friend, but I don't feel I have the right to say that your love for your tulpa is wrong.

 

Like Chigens said above, you people claiming tulpae are imaginary friends without their own feelings, emotions, and agendas, please don't assume unless you really know and have attempted to make one yourself. Tulpae are not just "imaginary friends" they are much more than that. We don't puppet them, we don't force them to do things. Yes, they share part of who we are, thus some level of thought processing overlaps, but they are still their own beings.

 

Arya is as real to me as any friend who is flesh and blood, and she is closer to me than most of my friends. That doesn't imply I have few friends, people seem to assume that a tulpa is created out of a lack of actual interaction. I have countless friends who I enjoy spending my time with and talking to, and yet I made a tulpa because it never hurts to have more friends.

 

Arya: "Yes, please don't assume we are stupid beasts set upon the exact wills of our creators. We live, love, and think on our own. To assume we are lesser because we aren't exactly physical is very hurtful. How do you know that perhaps your world is not false, and that because you cannot reach me physically, you must be fake or lesser?"

 

To say you can't marry your tulpa is like saying I can't marry a man just because it isn't "normal." Its narrow-minded.

 

I think its awesome that you two have such a close relationship, Arya and I wish the best of luck to both of you.

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You make insane look cool. ^_^

Or I could just say your insane in a good way.

You go on ahead and do whatever you please.

Oh and if you ever feel sad LISTEN TO THIS!!!

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=2okSis_wtls&feature=my_liked_videos&list=LLGgnDt4bqkLiiaJi4Uxw8HA

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uh, well, I don't have a tulpa, but at one point in my life I made up friends to help me in a bad, lonely time. If they weren't around, I might have really hurt myself D:

 

(This imaginary world I made eventually became a very complicated country, but that's a story for another thread)

 

I am very happy for you two. And, what matters is that you're happy with Brandy. I hope you two have a nice life together :)

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You're not insane, don't feel that way, you just have a different kind of relationship with your tulpa than most do. Like for me, Arya is just a close friend, but I don't feel I have the right to say that your love for your tulpa is wrong.

 

Like Chigens said above, you people claiming tulpae are imaginary friends without their own feelings, emotions, and agendas, please don't assume unless you really know and have attempted to make one yourself. Tulpae are not just "imaginary friends" they are much more than that. We don't puppet them, we don't force them to do things. Yes, they share part of who we are, thus some level of thought processing overlaps, but they are still their own beings.

 

Arya is as real to me as any friend who is flesh and blood, and she is closer to me than most of my friends. That doesn't imply I have few friends, people seem to assume that a tulpa is created out of a lack of actual interaction. I have countless friends who I enjoy spending my time with and talking to, and yet I made a tulpa because it never hurts to have more friends.

 

Arya: "Yes, please don't assume we are stupid beasts set upon the exact wills of our creators. We live, love, and think on our own. To assume we are lesser because we aren't exactly physical is very hurtful. How do you know that perhaps your world is not false, and that because you cannot reach me physically, you must be fake or lesser?"

 

To say you can't marry your tulpa is like saying I can't marry a man just because it isn't "normal." Its narrow-minded.

 

I think its awesome that you two have such a close relationship, Arya and I wish the best of luck to both of you.

 

This is what I was hoping someone could explain better then I could. I/we aint mad at noone for not quite understanding our not so usual relationship. But to everyone who has understood/wished us good luck, big hugs and thanks from the both of us! ^_^

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"The Southern Gentleman"

 

 

 

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My friend...you are not insane...I do not believe that. Insanity is not seeing things that are not physically there, insanity is doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results. I see my own share of things that, in my heart, I know do not truly exist...but I know I am sane. Your love for Brandy is a love in encourage, in fact. We all seek love, NEED love...I found love in the form of a man I have never met, in real life, and i call him Father. You found love in Brandy.

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You may be insane, yet what is so wrong about insanity ?

Thinking deeper about acts of the human race, I usually

end up with idea that there is no sanity in our actions.

Yet, the insane may still be the happiest.

Insanity and geniality are very similar to each other,

and easy to confuse.

I thank you for sharing this secret of yours with us,

it brightened up my day.

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Daww that was really touching. You aren't insane so don't worry. ^_^ Hope you and Brandy have a nice time together.

I'm also making a tulpa, still stuck on visualization though.


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Well if you can admit that she is not real, aince you said she was imaginary and stuff, then i don't think you are mentally ill/challenged. Just very very lonely. If you live by yourself then go to a pub or something and try to make friends.


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Don't worry A.S. and Brandy, you are not alone. I have a tulpa too... oh wait I have 2... well... They changed my life in every direction to better... I was a very bad person before I met the 1st (Lisa). As for marrige Lisa tells me that I can't marry her ( I didn't try to, she just told me so I would know ) and that I should find some friends ( and girlfriend ) and of course they both helps me with it but I am just too shy...

I whish you the best :)

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Like others said, you are definitely not insane. I'm not sure if it counts as having a tulpa, but I've had this voice in my head for a few years that I would talk to when I was feeling lonely. But it was before I knew what a tupla was and thought she was just a voice in my head.

 

Anyways, I am very happy for you and Brandy. Even if the rest of us can't see her, that doesn't mean you shouldn't be happy. ^^ I wish you both the best. :)

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Sorry this is so long, but I need to get it off my chest. If you dont know what tulpa is, google this will make a lot more sense.

 

I am indeed insane, but it is a controlled insanity that makes my life much less miserable, so im ok with it.

 

 

It all started over a year ago, I tried to lift a heavy box, lost my balence, and broke my knee. I was stuck in my bed for over six months with very little social interaction. Without even trying to I made myself a tulpa

(improved imaginary friend) to talk to, and just have some company. My furry side took over for HER apperance, and I ended up with a anthro wolf as a friend. Here's where you'll probably think I should be put in mental hospital. I started to have feelings for my tulpa, I'll just say "Brandy" now, thats what I named her for some reason. Since "Brandy was/is just an extention of my own self Conscientiousness, she devolped said feelings for me aswell. Soon we where deeply in love with eachother.

 

After I could get around again, "Brandy" was still with me. I still thought she was phyically real, so I thought I had to hide her from everyone else. But eventually I told my only two IRL friends about her and our love for one another, they belived me for some reason and thought she was real too. (maybe they just went along with it cause they thought I was crazy, IDK)

 

I ended up asking "Brandy" to marry me one night (ofcourse she said yes) I even got rings, and we set up a little ceramony with just the two of us. About a week after I "proposed", we were "married". I was the happiest I have ever been. But about a month after that I randomly stumbled upon a "Tulpa" site, and relized that the love of my life, my "Brandy Wandy", wasnt even phyically real. Then and between recently were the sadest, longest, and tear filled days of my life.

 

I tried to forget her and move on. I knew she wasnt even real to anyone but me, and figured there wasnt no reason to keep her in my mind. But I couldnt even feel like living without her, everyday began,

and ended with tears. There was no peace in my sleep either, she was always on my mind weather it be during the day, or in my dreams.

 

One night after the worst day of sadness I'd had, I decided to listen to my favorite love songs, I wanted to feel even sader for some reason. I had a playlist on youtube of the songs I wanted to listen to. Back before I relized "Brandy" wasnt phyically real, it had "our song" in it. After I had "left" Brandy I know, for 100% sure, I deleted that song from the playlist. I had looked at it several times since, it was never on there any of those times. But it was on there this time.

 

After I heard the song, (in tears) I relized Brandy was one the most important, if not THE most important thing in my life to me. She made me happy, she was there for me whenever I needed her. I LOVED her with all my heart, even if she was just in my head. So I decided to bring her back, I cant stand to live without her, she's the reason for everything I do!

 

So Brandy is back, we are happily married (at least between us we are) If being in love, happy as I could ever be, and always having a good friend to turn to makes me insane, I dont wanna be sane!

 

This is "our song"

http-~~-//www.youtube.com/watch?v=-pyuDoTfSyA

 

Yall and those two friends are the only ones that know about this. I wouldnt blame you for not beliving any of this, but if you do feel free to leave any thoughts aslong as there not to harsh.

 

 

 

I was originally torn on this but then it occurred to me that nothing is wrong here if it isn't harming you

 

As a therapist I would worry if my client told me this. I would fear that he/she wasn't in touch with reality

 

However...and I hope you are still reading this

 

The key to something being maladaptive is if it harms you or someone else. Obviously I don't know your mind and never could because I am not you. If you can truly look at yourself after a long day and say that you are not harming yourself with Brandy then I don't think anyone else can decide that you are in trouble. But again that is where honesty comes in. I don't mean being honest to me or us on this forum...I mean real honesty to yourself. Think to yourself...if you can sleep at night knowing you are ok...then you must be ok

 

As far as the tulpa herself...I had one when I was younger. Her name was Scout. I could see her...but that was ages ago and for me personally it never harmed anyone including myself

 

If you aren't ok then I would go talk to someone

 

If you are ok...then I hope you and Brandy are happy

Edited by Cupcake Ice Cream

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I have three tulpas and totally understand how you feel about this. But she's real to you, and that's all that matters, right? Best of luck in all your future endeavors.


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I don't have a Tulpa, but I know a bit about them. Marrying your Tulpa is a bit odd, maybe, but you're certainly not insane.

Well, you might be, but it's not because of this :P


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Insane? idk... well, as long as your in control, and you arn't mentally unstable. I think your perfectly fine.

Insane though? hmmm... well whats genius... without a little insanity? I think we all have a nit of crazy up in our noggins. But is it insanity? or is it... a gift? Think about it. Your mind, it created Brandy. You can see her... feel her... and no one else can't. It conjured up something, someone. She may not be real to us... but shes real. Real to you. A different reality.

Perhaps... many people who are claimed to be insane, see things others can't, and other things, perhaps... they arn't insane. Their minds... they are just a little... different. With many people... if somethings different, or if theres something they can't understand... we try to make sense of it. But you how people make sense of people whos minds are a little different. We deem them insane, crazy, Not right in the head. But you seem perfectly fine. Sure your aint ordinary, your... extraordinary. I can't just create soething with my mind, and think it real. You somehow did. Somehow.

You know... my mind. I've always been very philosiphical. Questioning the universe and whatnot. I've always wondered about different dimensions, universerses and all that. Perhaps Brandy is real. Just not on this plane of reality. Somewhere. Perhaps our conciousness, what we think, maybe it is all all real? Somewhere, somehow. I don't know. But like i said. Maybe She is is real. Idk how, idk where. Whether this universe or somewhere else. U never know. There can be an infinite amout of realitys, planes, whatever. We don't knwo whats real or not. Hell maybe this life is like the movie "Branded" (idk if thats out yet) and there are things happening we can't see. But they are real. Or maybe we are in the Matrix? Who knows. But If she is real, and the fact you can see her, maybe that isn't insanity, but a gift. To see someone you love.

God, whoever you believe, fate maybe. They work in special ways. You are able to see Brandy for a reason. That accident, u had that accident, maybe so you could meet Brandy. Perhaps it was destiny, Or maybe I'm wrong. Maybe u are Crazy. Maybe I'm Crazy for thinking you arn't crazy. But u never know man, you always gotta say... what if?

 

Well thats my Two bits again. I aint gonna deem you insane. But i also aint gonna deem you sane either. (Being most of us arn't sane) And personally, i see nothing wrong with that. ;) Also appologies if there are any typos. Not a good typer. But i'm sure its readable.

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