Chuck norris jokes?

[Key Gear 6,663]

When Chuck Norris makes a Chuck Norris joke the world explodes twice.

[Nightfall 3,950]

The only person who cried when Chuck Norris was born was the doctor. Never slap Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris got his driver's licence at the age of 16... seconds.

Outer space exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris.

There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.

The Manhattan Project was an attempt to recreate the destruction of a Chuck Norris round-house kick. They didn't come close.

With Chuck Norris, anything + anything = one... one round-house kick to the face.

Chuck Norris doesn't read books... he stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

[ZomBrony 347]

The reason Pluto is the furthest planet is because it's scared off Chuck Norris

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

iThink I got one, and this is from memory:

 

Chuck Norris doesn't eat; The food knows that the only safe place is Chuck Norris's stomach.

[Runty 41]

i got one:

When chuck norris steps in a puddle, chuck norris doesnt get wet, the puddle gets chuck norris'd

But sweetie belle can melt toast and burn juice.

[ZomBrony 347]

When Chuck Norris goes for a walk, he isn't moving, the earth is

[CapnKrunk 307]

Chuck norris threw a grenade,killed 50 people.Then the grenade Blew up!

[Jadefire 2,797]

Chuck Norris doesn't stub his toe. He just accidentally destroys chairs, tables, and sidewalks.

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

a boy once said Chuck Norris sucked, his severed head still hasn't been found

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= reaction to chuck Norris jokes

= reaction to chat ending

[Fire_Fly 499]

i got one:

When chuck norris steps in a puddle, chuck norris doesnt get wet, the puddle gets chuck norris'd

But sweetie belle can melt toast and burn juice.

 

Sweetie Belle might be able to burn juice, but Chuck Norris can drink fire.

 

Chuck Norris doesn't fight. The word 'fight' implies there's a chance of him losing.

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Once again, Google to the rescue:

 

Chuck Norris can delete the recycle bin on Windows.

[ZomBrony 347]

Can't anypony?

 

Chuck Norris is 20% cooler than Rainbow Dash

[Fire_Fly 499]

Princess Celestia writes letters about her discoveries in friendship and sends them to Chuck Norris!

[ZomBrony 347]

You like MLP Chuck Norris jokes?

 

Chuck Norris represents the 7th Element of Harmony. The Element is PAIN!

[Fire_Fly 499]

Not many people know it, but Chuck Norris once lived in Cloudsdale. One day, he got out of bed.

 

...Thus, came the very first Sonic Rainboom.

[AngryGamer432 155]

Chuck norris played rock, paper, scissor and beat rock with scissors.

 

Chuck norris ordered a big mac at burger king and got one.

 

Chuck norris can slam a revolving door

[ZomBrony 347]

I shall continue then! But I'm cheating so I'll just post 'em all, sorry if anypony planned on using them

 

1. Chuck Norris is 20% cooler than Rainbow Dash

 

2. A Chuck Norris roundhouse kick has enough speed to preform 5 sonic rainbooms.

 

3. When Chuck Norris went to canterlot, Princess Celestria bowed down to him.

 

4. When Chuck Norris visited the Galloping Gala, he made it his best night ever

 

5. When Chuck Norris sends a letter, he doesn't use a dragon. He roundhouse kicks it to where ever he wants it to go.

 

6. Chuck Norris represents the 7th Element of Harmony. The Element is PAIN!

 

7. Pinkie Pie once threw a surprise party for Chuck Norris. Later that day, Chuck was seen wearing a pink leather jacket. Never surprise Chuck Norris.

 

8. Rainbow Dash once bet Chuck Norris that he couldn't clear the sky in ten seconds flat. Then, with a single Roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris cleared the sky, and solved world hunger.

 

9. Chuck Norris isn't a Unicorn, but he can still cast spells with his beard.

 

10. If you think that Princess Celestria overreacted when Princess Luna didn't bring the moon down, you should have seen what Chuck Norris did. It wasn't pretty.

 

11. Princess Celestria finds it a big deal to get a letter from Chuck Norris.

 

12. The only reason Princess Luna wasn't in season 1 of MLP FiM was because she heard Chuck Norris was still pissed about the whole Nightmare Moon thing.

 

13. Chuck Norris knows the color of DJ- PONE's eyes. But he won't tell anyone.

 

14. Derpy Doo once challenged Chuck Norris to a staring contest. That's why her eyes are like that.

 

15. Originally, MLP FiM was gonna feature Chuck Norris. He would star as a Bull who was the ranger for Ponyville. Luaren Faust decided against it because that would be to awesome. Even for both MLP FiM and Chuck Norris.

[Fire_Fly 499]

The Great Dragon Migration conveniently begins on the same day Chuck Norris takes his annual hiking trip.

 

Chuck Norris can press more cider in 30 seconds than the Apple Family and the Flim Flam Brothers can in an entire episode.

 

Big Macintosh bucks apples off of trees. Chuck Norris bucks trees off of apples.

 

On Nightmare Night, Princess Luna leaves candy in front of a Chuck Norris statue.

[AngryGamer432 155]

Chuck Norris can roundhouse kick faster than Rainbow dash can fly

 

Chuck Norris is not a pegasus but he can still fly

 

Chuck Norris made trixie leave town because she claimed she could beat chuck norris

 

Chuck Norris can be in Canterlot, PonyVille and Everfree Forest at the same time

Edited April 12, 2012 by Thatpony124

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

This is gonna be cheesy...

 

Princess Celestia actually doesn't have enough power to move the sun, so instead she rotates the earth so that it looks like she's moving the sun.

 

Only Chuck Norris can move the sun, but oddly enough when he does, it turns dark... Forever... Then everything freezes over... And dies... Forever...

[ZomBrony 347]

If Chuck Norris died, the world wouldn't live on, if Chuck Norris dies, everything dies, existence itself would no longer exist...Chuck Norris powers ALL

Edited April 12, 2012 by XxDerpDerpyxX (Zom)

[AngryGamer432 155]

Chuck Norris counted pi twice

 

Chuck Norris doesn't call the wrong phone number you just answer the wrong phone

 

If chuck Norris was a pony he would be best pony

Edited April 12, 2012 by Thatpony124

[ZomBrony 347]

I must disagree with your final point, Fluttershy would still be my favourite pony

 

If Chuck Norris faced Defensive Fluttershy/Dragonshy/Flutterage it would actually be a fair match 50/50 fo sho

[AngryGamer432 155]

No it would be 100/0 Chuck Norris would win

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Apparently, Chuck Norris's Roundhouse Kick is so powerful, first you die from the impact, then he kicks you.