Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Denim&Venöm 20,310]

"You're hired. I have a funeral planned for next week, hoping it will turn into a wedding." 

[Tropical Melody 7,371]

"Have some bread and olives while you're waiting for your food!"

(Now normally I can't stand olives but this time I ate them! Will I again next time?)

 

[Denim&Venöm 20,310]

"I jammed four drunk marines into a 2013 Yaris, and we hit the road." 

[Tropical Melody 7,371]

"I scratched my thinning hair. More fell out. It does that."

 

[Denim&Venöm 20,310]

"I just realized that the Mona Lisa is Da Vinci's self-insert OC." 

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

Well, I made it! Whatever you want to call this dish, I made it!

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

You know a math problem's good if there's a chance of people dying. (Context: probability homework.)

[Treeglow Flicker 14,211]

Talking to myself might seem a little crazy to some, but you're all I have to listen to me right now.

[ExplosionMare 21,024]

Imagine dating your parents...

[Lucky Bolt 35,216]

Me: "Aw yeah baby you like that?"

Not me: "Who are you talking to over there?"

Me: "Uhhh no one!"

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

If you're gonna cross half a continent, at some point you're gonna have to question your continence.

[BroomsNHops 260]

Welp maybe it's making up for all the injuries I tend to get when at work?

[Denim&Venöm 20,310]

"Left subpoena in subjects layette. Subject appeared to drool or possibly coo in recognition of the receipt." 

[Tropical Melody 7,371]

"But his teacher, Mrs Wilkinson, thinks he should audition for ballet school in London. Family ructions are inevitable ..."

 

[Denim&Venöm 20,310]

 "Jesus love me...

 C'MON YOU KNOW THE WORDS!" 

[Emerald Heart 25,124]

"Cash & candy have one thing in common: I will not eat either of them."

[Denim&Venöm 20,310]

"Fame may be fleeting, and wealth: ephemeral. But true evil never dies."

"It just comes back with a goddamn second health bar."

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

That was suppose to be MY BREAKFAST!  ...Nah, you're okay, you can have it. 

4 hours ago, Denim&Venom said:

"Fame may be fleeting, and wealth: ephemeral. But true evil never dies."

"It just comes back with a goddamn second health bar."

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, how could you? Fool me three times; okay, you're official "that guy", you know the one...

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Is "beanbag chair" one word or 67 words?

[Denim&Venöm 20,310]

"These guys aren't even monsters. They're just on their way home from a Sunn O))) concert." 

[Adorable Lovestar 243]

"Aw, shoot."

[Denim&Venöm 20,310]

"30 wagons to transport it and 40 days to assemble it, and they expected him to just pack it up when they surrendered?

Aww hell no.

Big Ed gonna chuck some rocks." 

[Denim&Venöm 20,310]

"The bible says Adam and Eve, not Hebrew and Cantonese." 

[Treeglow Flicker 14,211]

"What IS that smell?!"

[Samurai Equine 54,676]

Well, actually, if you're a Christian, you HAVE to believe in ghosts and demons. Don't quite have a choice there.