Why I donated $630 to this site

[My little pwny 1,392]

Hi everypony. Chances are, you have seen my thread about me donating $630. Tonight, I wish to explain why I did so. I would really appreciate it if you take the time to read this post. I did not donate the money so I could bribe my way into becoming a moderator. I did not donate the money so I could have any special privileges. I only did it so I can have a soap box to stand on to declare my appreciation to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and also show appreciation to the Brony community in MLPforums.

 

Let me tell you a story.

 

I had a really tough childhood. Growing up was hard for me, even though I had a supporting family. I never had many friends, and a few of the 'friends' I had treated me bad. I don't want to get into too many details, but long story short, I was depressed because of it. Trust me, the depression was justified, at least in my mind. I hid the depression from my folks for most of my life until later in High School when I completely crashed. I went through what the typical depression patient goes through. I got medication, therapy, and micromanagement from my family to keep an eye on me.

 

After a long time of struggling with depression, I did some self-reflection. I figured out that if I could hide my depression, my life would go back to normal. Even though I didn't feel any better inside, I forced my outer self to look and act happy. My parent bought it. After I graduated High School, I went to College out of state. I was still prescribed my anti-depressants at this time.

 

Fast forward a semester and a half later, I had become VERY depressed inside. Again, not to get into many details, but the causes of my depression was very bad. Since I had no family to support me because I was out of state, I attempted suicide. After a bit of time, the school I was attending kicked me out and sent me home. My life was a mess.

 

When I finally got home, I kept on pretending like the suicide attempt was a fluke, and I was actually fine. That couldn't have been further from the truth. I got home in March of 2011. I continued to live life at home, and I attended a community college in the mean time. The few friends I still had around were always busy, so I was alone a lot of the time. I continued to get sadder and sadder until I made a decision on January 30th, 2012. I decided I would commit suicide five months after that date since the number "5" was my lucky number.

 

Throughout that time, I began to prepare for my suicide. Since I had failed last time, I took care to not make the same mistake. I researched for weeks until I picked the best method for me. I looked on the internet, posted on some forums, and even ordered a book on the subject. I was prepared to do the deed on my set date. To prepare for my departure, I created a will and trust on legalzoom.com to make sure what little assets I had went to my family and friends. I prepared a hand written suicide note that proved that no one but myself would be responsible for my death. In summary, all my affairs were in order.

 

Fast forward to early May of this year. Under two months remained until I committed suicide. At this time I was at my lowest. I didn't care about saving money. I didn't care about anything. Anything I could do behind the scenes from my parents I would do. I started to buy things like video games and movies, even some that I didn't really like. I was as apathetic as one could be. Among the things I bought was a subscription to netflix. I watch hours and hours of t.v. shows, some of them I liked, others I didn't.

 

This is the turning point of the story.

 

When I was searching for the next show I would watch, I came across a show called, "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". Since I was an avid YouTuber, I was well aware of the "cult" following that show had. I decide to watch the show because well, heck, "I have nothing to lose since I'm going to kill my self anyways." The first 2 episodes I was like, "meh." but I continued to watch anyways. During the 3rd episode, something clicked in my brain. It's very hard to describe, but it basically made me look at things a bit differently.

 

I realized that there was something very special about this show, and that I should watch a few more to be sure. After I finished the 5th episode, I knew I loved the show, but that wasn't the only thing. I knew that if I could love a kid's show like this, then perhaps I could become happy again. My Little Pony improved my outlook on life. However, it didn't change my mind about killing myself.

 

When I got half way through season 1, I thought to myself that the happiness the show was giving me was temporary. Sorta like the feeling you get when you finally get a new video game you looked for to. This wasn't that case, I later learned. I feel in love with the overall premise of MLP and all of its characters. The innocence of the show brought me inner happiness that I hadn't experienced in a very, very long time.

 

I finally finished the first season and I decided to no longer plan on killing myself. I no longer had to pretend to be happy. This is when I joined the forums. Even when I finished all the episodes of FiM, I continue to find increased happiness.

 

______________________________________________________________________

 

So what? Why am I telling you all this?

 

Well, here I am today, the 30th of June. I would be dead right now if it wasn't for this show and the community. This is why I donated $630 USD to the forums, to thank the show and you guys for saving my life. . 630 stands for today's date, 6/30; the first day of the rest of my life. A "rebirth" if you're feeling dramatic, because I should have died today. The brohoofs were just to get your attention.

 

I can honestly say that I am happy to be me. I don't even have to have ponies to be happy. I am just me: a very happy person ready to live out the rest of his life.

 

Thank You.

 

-My little Pwny

[Crispy 5,563]

 

All that needs to be said, really.

[Doctor XFizzle 8,669]

Thanks for having the courage to share your story. Who would've thought back on October 10, 2010, the date of the pilot episode, that ponies would become a source of inspiration and a life saver to thousands, perhaps millions? May the happiness keep flowing your way and major *brohoof*

[Guest]

You get a special spot in Heaven, sir.

 

[Lunalicious 223]

We're glad you didn't commit suicide.

Who would've thought a children's show would've made such a huge impact on people's lives?

[Sepia-chan 495]

Wow, just...wow...I have no words.

[Finesthour 7,287]

Lauren Faust deserves a medal along with feld0.

 

Saving lives and kicking ass, the pony way.

[~Chaos~ 3,967]

Amazing story, Thanks for sharing it, we are all glad you're here with us

[Haven Celestii 9,385]

That. Was pure amazing.

 

My loss of words....is great at this moment.

 

 

Umm, its really amazing that you got over your depression. Even more amazing that you did it with this show and forum!

[Glaceon 793]

That's deep really deep....... *Brohoofs and hugs*

[Ron Jeremy 2,032]

This... may just be the most amazing thing I have read on this site.

 

To see the show, the fandom, affect peoples' lives in such a positive way is beautiful. There is no other way to describe it. I mean, a lot of us have dealt with depression before, but your story shows the true power behind the show and its fans. Its ability to change lives for the better. Help us out of our darkest times.

 

Good luck with your new outlook on life, and may your happiness continue to grow. And of course, stick around the forums.

[NavelColt 22,880]

It's really wonderful to see catalysts like Lauren, who have the ability to put together something that speaks to so many people, create such a wide impact. It's great to hear your story, and it's lovely to have read it ^^

[Key Gear 6,663]

I love reading stories like this. I really do. To hear how the show and the community were able to have such a tremendously positive impact on your life. It's just a very touching story.

[Jozzeh 125]

This is the first thing I see on my first trip to GD?

 

Amazing. Just amazing.

 

C'mere, you deserve a hug. =D

[Nightfall 3,950]

Wow... What the actual... Wow.

This is a story that I will remember. Words cannot describe how I feel. Glad, impressed, shocked... They work, but not well. Wow...

Well... Ok... I'm trying to recover... Wow...

Ok... Deep beyond belief. Wide eyes. Disbelief... Ok... Wow...

 

Well, I'm glad you feel better. Bro hoof and hug, man.

[Nouth 496]

Very nice story, I'm glad you found MLP in time

I think that everyone sometimes needs several more rainbows in their life.

[One 498]

Sad, yet happy. Only reason I dont like suicide is it goes against my thought of what you are here to do:

1. Live

2. Reproduce

3. Say theres a different meaning so you can be more happy

and because of over population of the humankind number 2 is unneeded, there it only leaves one and three

three is only if you dont mind theres not actualy much to life and you will just try to enjoy your self then theres no need for 3

what that leaves is number 1, to live, suicide is death and :

 

Live ≠ Death, so suicide is not what your here for.

[Evilshy 5,090]

I have what one might call a cold heart. I'm not cruel or anything, but not much stirs my emotions, and even when they do, they often don't express themselves. I don't try to hide or supress my emotions at all, they just don't come.

 

But this story really touched me. First life story I've read on this site that has. Sure, I've felt sorry for others. I've sympathized with others and tried to comfort others. But none have ever really stirred my emotions. Until this one.

 

It was really the 6/30 thing, and how you'd be dead right now that got to me.

 

Btw, you should email your story to Lauren Faust and Studio B.

 

 

Also, if I was a manager and you told me this story, I'd hire you on the spot. Anybody who can put that much time and effort into making sure they kill themselves correctly is somebody I would trust to get shit done, and get it done right.

[Chigens and Kay 3,832]

Wow, this was incredible to read.

 

Seriously.

[---------------------- 1,645]

Hi everypony. Chances are, you have seen my thread about me donating $630. Tonight, I wish to explain why I did so. I would really appreciate it if you take the time to read this post. I did not donate the money so I could bribe my way into becoming a moderator. I did not donate the money so I could have any special privileges. I only did it so I can have a soap box to stand on to declare my appreciation to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and also show appreciation to the Brony community in MLPforums.

 

Let me tell you a story.

 

I had a really tough childhood. Growing up was hard for me, even though I had a supporting family. I never had many friends, and a few of the 'friends' I had treated me bad. I don't want to get into too many details, but long story short, I was depressed because of it. Trust me, the depression was justified, at least in my mind. I hid the depression from my folks for most of my life until later in High School when I completely crashed. I went through what the typical depression patient goes through. I got medication, therapy, and micromanagement from my family to keep an eye on me.

 

After a long time of struggling with depression, I did some self-reflection. I figured out that if I could hide my depression, my life would go back to normal. Even though I didn't feel any better inside, I forced my outer self to look and act happy. My parent bought it. After I graduated High School, I went to College out of state. I was still prescribed my anti-depressants at this time.

 

Fast forward a semester and a half later, I had become VERY depressed inside. Again, not to get into many details, but the causes of my depression was very bad. Since I had no family to support me because I was out of state, I attempted suicide. After a bit of time, the school I was attending kicked me out and sent me home. My life was a mess.

 

When I finally got home, I kept on pretending like the suicide attempt was a fluke, and I was actually fine. That couldn't have been further from the truth. I got home in March of 2011. I continued to live life at home, and I attended a community college in the mean time. The few friends I still had around were always busy, so I was alone a lot of the time. I continued to get sadder and sadder until I made a decision on January 30th, 2012. I decided I would commit suicide five months after that date since the number "5" was my lucky number.

 

Throughout that time, I began to prepare for my suicide. Since I had failed last time, I took care to not make the same mistake. I researched for weeks until I picked the best method for me. I looked on the internet, posted on some forums, and even ordered a book on the subject. I was prepared to do the deed on my set date. To prepare for my departure, I created a will and trust on legalzoom.com to make sure what little assets I had went to my family and friends. I prepared a hand written suicide note that proved that no one but myself would be responsible for my death. In summary, all my affairs were in order.

 

Fast forward to early May of this year. Under two months remained until I committed suicide. At this time I was at my lowest. I didn't care about saving money. I didn't care about anything. Anything I could do behind the scenes from my parents I would do. I started to buy things like video games and movies, even some that I didn't really like. I was as apathetic as one could be. Among the things I bought was a subscription to netflix. I watch hours and hours of t.v. shows, some of them I liked, others I didn't.

 

This is the turning point of the story.

 

When I was searching for the next show I would watch, I came across a show called, "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". Since I was an avid YouTuber, I was well aware of the "cult" following that show had. I decide to watch the show because well, heck, "I have nothing to lose since I'm going to kill my self anyways." The first 2 episodes I was like, "meh." but I continued to watch anyways. During the 3rd episode, something clicked in my brain. It's very hard to describe, but it basically made me look at things a bit differently.

 

I realized that there was something very special about this show, and that I should watch a few more to be sure. After I finished the 5th episode, I knew I loved the show, but that wasn't the only thing. I knew that if I could love a kid's show like this, then perhaps I could become happy again. My Little Pony improved my outlook on life. However, it didn't change my mind about killing myself.

 

When I got half way through season 1, I thought to myself that the happiness the show was giving me was temporary. Sorta like the feeling you get when you finally get a new video game you looked for to. This wasn't that case, I later learned. I feel in love with the overall premise of MLP and all of its characters. The innocence of the show brought me inner happiness that I hadn't experienced in a very, very long time.

 

I finally finished the first season and I decided to no longer plan on killing myself. I no longer had to pretend to be happy. This is when I joined the forums. Even when I finished all the episodes of FiM, I continue to find increased happiness.

 

______________________________________________________________________

 

So what? Why am I telling you all this?

 

Well, here I am today, the 30th of June. I would be dead right now if it wasn't for this show and the community. This is why I donated $630 USD to the forums, to thank the show and you guys for saving my life. . 630 stands for today's date, 6/30; the first day of the rest of my life. A "rebirth" if you're feeling dramatic, because I should have died today. The brohoofs were just to get your attention.

 

I can honestly say that I am happy to be me. I don't even have to have ponies to be happy. I am just me: a very happy person ready to live out the rest of his life.

 

Thank You.

 

-My little Pwny

 

 

Its amazing what this fandom has done,

 

I am not gonna say much, mostly because words can not even describe how happy reading this has made me.

 

My Little pwny, we are here for you, not just this forum, this entire community,

 

I am not trying to brag, so please don't get that impression, but when I was at bronycon today, the people I was surrounded by were the most upbeat and kindest people you could ever meet. It's an experience that I wish I could live everyday.

 

I wish you the best of luck in life.

 

Life is a tough thing, its a long obstical course that is almost impossible to complete some times,

in order to live life, you need to have fun, laugh, this community has given people hope, and its a place people can turn to for help, MLP has changed every bodies life.

 

Thank you for sharing your story, I wish you the best <3

 

-Marco.P

Edited July 1, 2012 by Marco23p

[Klopp 2,050]

 

I am literally in tears after reading that story. You've clearly been through a greater hell than anyone else I know, and certainly deserve to have a happier ending than what you had planned. Very much glad to hear that MLP Has given you a new positive outlook on life. It's helped many people become more positive, even me, but the change in me was less than one hundredth of what you have described in this thread. Quite honestly the most touching and Epic story I've read on the forums.

 

I know I said in my Thank you PM that I wished to supply you with a proper brohoof for your generous donation, but I that's clearly not enough now. You just plain need a lifetime supply of hugs, I'd say :3 For now there is little I can do to show my support and appreciation what you've done. A Brohoof is a nice start, but not enough to be honest. Maybe a little name change as well

 

 

Good luck with the rest of your life. Let's hope it turns out to be long and awesome!

[Chill Mists (Chilly) 801]

...I wish to hug you now. I wish to hug you whilst applauding you. It was great to read that.

[Gozutennou 36]

Hi everypony. Chances are, you have seen my thread about me donating $630. Tonight, I wish to explain why I did so. I would really appreciate it if you take the time to read this post. I did not donate the money so I could bribe my way into becoming a moderator. I did not donate the money so I could have any special privileges. I only did it so I can have a soap box to stand on to declare my appreciation to My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, and also show appreciation to the Brony community in MLPforums.

 

Let me tell you a story.

 

I had a really tough childhood. Growing up was hard for me, even though I had a supporting family. I never had many friends, and a few of the 'friends' I had treated me bad. I don't want to get into too many details, but long story short, I was depressed because of it. Trust me, the depression was justified, at least in my mind. I hid the depression from my folks for most of my life until later in High School when I completely crashed. I went through what the typical depression patient goes through. I got medication, therapy, and micromanagement from my family to keep an eye on me.

 

After a long time of struggling with depression, I did some self-reflection. I figured out that if I could hide my depression, my life would go back to normal. Even though I didn't feel any better inside, I forced my outer self to look and act happy. My parent bought it. After I graduated High School, I went to College out of state. I was still prescribed my anti-depressants at this time.

 

Fast forward a semester and a half later, I had become VERY depressed inside. Again, not to get into many details, but the causes of my depression was very bad. Since I had no family to support me because I was out of state, I attempted suicide. After a bit of time, the school I was attending kicked me out and sent me home. My life was a mess.

 

When I finally got home, I kept on pretending like the suicide attempt was a fluke, and I was actually fine. That couldn't have been further from the truth. I got home in March of 2011. I continued to live life at home, and I attended a community college in the mean time. The few friends I still had around were always busy, so I was alone a lot of the time. I continued to get sadder and sadder until I made a decision on January 30th, 2012. I decided I would commit suicide five months after that date since the number "5" was my lucky number.

 

Throughout that time, I began to prepare for my suicide. Since I had failed last time, I took care to not make the same mistake. I researched for weeks until I picked the best method for me. I looked on the internet, posted on some forums, and even ordered a book on the subject. I was prepared to do the deed on my set date. To prepare for my departure, I created a will and trust on legalzoom.com to make sure what little assets I had went to my family and friends. I prepared a hand written suicide note that proved that no one but myself would be responsible for my death. In summary, all my affairs were in order.

 

Fast forward to early May of this year. Under two months remained until I committed suicide. At this time I was at my lowest. I didn't care about saving money. I didn't care about anything. Anything I could do behind the scenes from my parents I would do. I started to buy things like video games and movies, even some that I didn't really like. I was as apathetic as one could be. Among the things I bought was a subscription to netflix. I watch hours and hours of t.v. shows, some of them I liked, others I didn't.

 

This is the turning point of the story.

 

When I was searching for the next show I would watch, I came across a show called, "My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic". Since I was an avid YouTuber, I was well aware of the "cult" following that show had. I decide to watch the show because well, heck, "I have nothing to lose since I'm going to kill my self anyways." The first 2 episodes I was like, "meh." but I continued to watch anyways. During the 3rd episode, something clicked in my brain. It's very hard to describe, but it basically made me look at things a bit differently.

 

I realized that there was something very special about this show, and that I should watch a few more to be sure. After I finished the 5th episode, I knew I loved the show, but that wasn't the only thing. I knew that if I could love a kid's show like this, then perhaps I could become happy again. My Little Pony improved my outlook on life. However, it didn't change my mind about killing myself.

 

When I got half way through season 1, I thought to myself that the happiness the show was giving me was temporary. Sorta like the feeling you get when you finally get a new video game you looked for to. This wasn't that case, I later learned. I feel in love with the overall premise of MLP and all of its characters. The innocence of the show brought me inner happiness that I hadn't experienced in a very, very long time.

 

I finally finished the first season and I decided to no longer plan on killing myself. I no longer had to pretend to be happy. This is when I joined the forums. Even when I finished all the episodes of FiM, I continue to find increased happiness.

 

______________________________________________________________________

 

So what? Why am I telling you all this?

 

Well, here I am today, the 30th of June. I would be dead right now if it wasn't for this show and the community. This is why I donated $630 USD to the forums, to thank the show and you guys for saving my life. . 630 stands for today's date, 6/30; the first day of the rest of my life. A "rebirth" if you're feeling dramatic, because I should have died today. The brohoofs were just to get your attention.

 

I can honestly say that I am happy to be me. I don't even have to have ponies to be happy. I am just me: a very happy person ready to live out the rest of his life.

 

Thank You.

 

-My little Pwny

 

 

Haha, beautiful !

 

1 question: what are your other plans in life ?

[Twiliscael 3,960]

I would write a wall of text, but that's so mainstream isn't it?

 

All I can really say is that I'm glad you're still with us. We may just be "some weirdos over the internet" but we care about you and are there for you. Not to mention your the hero of the forums now

[My little pwny 1,392]

 

Haha, beautiful !

 

1 question: what are your other plans in life ?

 

I'm going to become an RN and after that a Nurse Practitioner. I'm doing well pursuing that goal so far.