come up with a useless superpower

[Hopes and Memes 391]

The ability to turn into a brick

Once.

Forever.

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

The ability to spontaneously lose all bodily control.

[Lord Bradley 1,319]

The ability to summon One pencil each day.

[-D1SCORDANT- 1,080]

The ability to fly exactly one nano-meter.

[Hopes and Memes 391]

The ability to teleport 1 inch infront of you, but the cooldown is 10 seconds.

[SilverStarApple 849]

Teleportation with a range of one foot.

X-Ray vision with no range limit or control, you see through everything forever until you end up looking deep into space.

Prehensile nipples on either a male or female character. (Hey, we found Milky Way's power for the inevitable "Milky Way finds a Power Ponies comic" fanfic!)

The power to make sound effects happen.

The power to psychically know any person's mind... once per day.

A Jedi Mind Trick that never works on anyone you want it to.

[Hopes and Memes 391]

The ability to detect a re-post.

Able to teleport to a random toilet.

The ability to make radiation appear at your feet.

The ability to make 5c appear once every 2nd day.

<Ability was removed>

The ability to make air solid for 1 second(s), still killing everything on earth.

Make sonic rain nukes with a normal nuke!

Able to see radiation.

Turn 5% transparent for 19 seconds, the cooldown is 1 minute.

Hear everything at once.

Ability to become insane! Once. Forever.

The ability to summon the ogrelord.

The ability to make good comebacks if it is a bad insult.

Make light bulbs more powerful by 1 watt.

The ability to stare into light without getting affected.

Change the channel if the remote is in your hand. (Don't even have to press the buttons!)

Be the best at CoD 2.

See half a second into the past!

Make water regenerate over time. (5 minutes = 50ml)

[Magic Gypsy Dice 347]

Be really good at packing things.

[redaxted 1,765]

The power to turn people to stone by staring into their eyes only when they're not looking at you.

[Wyzecat 350]

The power to compel all manners of large predators to bite your neck as hard as they can.

[ZUPERFLY 4]

The ability to sneeze out eggs. Whenever you sneeze chicken egg sized eggs shoot out your nose at an alarming rate.

[Elysia 269]

The ability to jump really high, but you can't take the fall, like any other human being.

[Gestum 2,493]

The ability to die.

[Biggybrony 244]

The ability to instantly heal my eyelashes

The power of flight while I'm in an aeroplane

The power to digest mobile phones with no ill effects

The power to not be addicted to coffee

Invisibility only while playing a trumpet

Heat vision only while holding ice in front of my head

Xray vision only while wearing a lead helmet

The power to have unusually pink hands

[TerminalObsession 250]

The ability to share opinions on the Internet without getting flamed.

The power to summon chicken servants that are incapable of doing anything

The ability to lick your elbow

Growing a beard with your mind

Magically adding USB ports to things

Charging your phone .3 seconds faster

Mind control that only makes people make chicken noises instead of speaking

The ability to speak with lettuce.

[Tinkh_ 239]

The ability to make body odor slightly less bad.

[Codelyy 1,281]

The ability to run at 1 mile per hour

[I used to be a stranger 7,989]

Able to turn into a quasar

Can conjure spaghetti during triple conjunctions

Underwater moonwalking

Can punch things with only exactly 1 gigapascal of pressure

Understands worms

[A10 23]

The ability to hear a fly breaking wind 500 miles away.

(Anyone know what I'm kinda referencing? )

[Lord Bradley 1,319]

The power of creating a handful of slime once per day!

[gamecubeguy214 2,511]

The power to touch people's belly buttons with your mind.

[Scrubbed user 3,415]

The ability to read your own mind.

[Trottermare Galamane 12,004]

The ability to have super strength but only when your asleep. 

[PastelHorses 69]

Dispense Sunscreen out of your armpit but every time you move your elbow down you dispense a handful

[Castle Bleck 19,167]

The power to warp the reality inside of any toaster.