come up with a useless superpower

[Flying Vantas 106]

The ability to share opinions on the Internet without getting flamed.

The power to summon chicken servants that are incapable of doing anything

The ability to lick your elbow

Growing a beard with your mind

Magically adding USB ports to things

Charging your phone .3 seconds faster

Mind control that only makes people make chicken noises instead of speaking

The ability to speak with lettuce.

Mind Control that replaces all of the pronouns with BACON.

[LunatheNightmare 68]

The ability turn everything into an avocado

Edited December 18, 2015 by LunatheNightmare

[TerminalObsession 250]

Mind Control that replaces all of the pronouns with BACON.

Your big toe becoming invincible. Just your big toe.

 

The ability to do things ordinary people do, but more fabulously.

 

The power to make people listen to your solutions and agree with you.

 

Chicken manipulation mind control.

 

The ability to make someone's physical, mental, and emotional status into a GUI that you can interact with.

 

The ability to mind control anyone who has the exact same hair color that you do.

 

The ability to shoot fire out of your hands. No fire resistance in them, though.

 

The ability to breathe inside of a refrigerator

 

The ability to think of stupid things easily.

 

The above is my superpower. It's true.

Edited December 18, 2015 by Amorphous

[Frith is Magick 1,471]

The power to change velcro from grabby to fuzzy and fuzzy to grabby (if you'll excuse the lack of technical terminology)

[LunatheNightmare 68]

The power of getting free samples everywhere you go (but all the samples are of something you hate)

[SilverStarApple 849]

The power to turn objects invisible. It only works on one object at a time, it can't be a brightly-coloured object, and putting it on a cloak makes the cloak invisible, not you. 

[Catpone Cerberus 23,428]

Superjump when you are touching the ground with your feet.

[TigerGeekGuy 4,659]

The power to slice pickles paper-thin with a butter knife.

[cider float 2,535]

You have the power to lower the temperature in your body only on cold days.

[~Chaos~ 3,966]

The ability to turn what you touch into dank memes.

[Jokuc 8,172]

The ability to turn what you touch into dank memes.

 

how is this an useless superpower?

 

I present the super power that allows you to spawn fingernails

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

The ability.

 

To teleport.

 

Only two feet at a time.

 

Which needs to be recharged/refeuled.

 

By eating a s**t ton of carbs.

[TerminalObsession 250]

The ability to summon any MLP character you hate. They remain forever until you stop hating them.

 

The ability to make cheese taste like bananas. Only cheese. Only bananas.

 

Mind control that makes people believe in the Chicken God.

 

The ability to perfectly replicate any chicken noise.

 

The ability to turn into a pigeon. You can turn back by pooping on someone's car.

 

The ability to stop any bright yellow Mini Cooper.

 

Making fire water.

 

The ability to cast spells by writing on your arm with a ballpoint pen.

 

The ability to make toasters pop up.

 

The power of balancing any fork on your right ring finger.

 

Ice powers, but only if you're inside of a freezer.

 

The ability to remove 1 person from any fandom every month.

Edited February 5, 2016 by Amorphous

[A Canadian Fritter 187]

The ability to see in the dark when your eyes are closed

[Number62 1,247]

Being able to consistently sneeze with your eyes open.

[TigerGeekGuy 4,659]

The ability to turn into a tap-dancing penguin while wearing clogs.

[Kagami-sama 319]

The power to read the mind of a rock.

[Lil Pip 775]

The ability to be immune to the second strike of lightning that hits you.

[Zyrael 1,471]

the power to stare at someone for a really long time without them noticing. 

[Castle Bleck 19,167]

The ablity to permanently turn into Jar-Jar Binks.

 

That's not even a useless superpower.

 

That's one of those final curses King Sombra would cast on you as revenge for defeating him.

[Zyrael 1,471]

The power to lick your knee while standing up 

[TerminalObsession 250]

The ability to give your worst enemy the power to kill you whenever they want.

[FlutteringDweamz 2,086]

The ability to make music play while jumping on a bed LOL

[Zyrael 1,471]

The ability to replace people's noses with grapefruit 

[Rainbowdash_82 404]

The ability to turn pizza into nutmeg