Are you afraid to cry?

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,676]

Seeking attention may seem like it's condemned, but in all honesty, most pop culture idols are just idiots craving attention.

 

Quite pitiful, really.

Huh. Well, the best answer to that which I can give is that because we're talking about celebrities who are essentially higher-ranking citizens, society has deemed them to be more worthy of attention. It's kind of a shaky answer but it's the best that I can come up with.

[Haruhi-chan 487]

I'm not actually afraid of crying. I just don't cry because it's hard for me to express myself. This is because of having autism and other conditions. However, if I do end up crying it's most likely due to someone triggering one of my meltdowns. I have cried a few times after losing friends before and stuff like that, but I don't make it a habit because it's extremely difficult for me to express it.

[Zygen 6,066]

When it comes to crying, I don't know what it is, but I just can't bring myself to shed a tear, no matter how sad or depressing the situation might be. I think if I was going to though, I'd just let it happen, depending on the situation of course.

In the public, maybe not or people might get worried or something!

 

Though, I certainly do cry a lot out of laughter! 

Well, I think part of the purpose of crying is to show that you are feeling distressed, stressed, sad, or whatever, and thus draw attention to yourself for comfort. 

 

It's also for relieving stress and such, but I believe that is part of it.

 

I can't say I count tearing up while laughing as crying, but I suppose that depends upon how you look at it.

 

It's not bad to cry, because crying is an emotional release. It's literally healthy to cry.

 

That being said, while I'm not afraid to cry because I do it plenty, I don't like when my mom sees me cry, because every time she does she tells me to stop crying because I'm gonna be 23, and I hate it when she doesn't understand. Sometimes I really can't help it when i cry, even when i'm trying not to.

That sucks, I find it odd that you mom wouldn't want you to cry, usually females are more understanding when it comes to emotional displays like that. But I guess she is an exception.

 

I personally see nothing wrong with it though as I've said many times before, man, or woman.

 

Ohh, I do cry often. Yeah, I apologize, I tend to confuse words with other words a lot. xP

Oh it's ok, I just wanted clarification, I do the same thing all the time, I can be quite unclear and repeat things and stuff and just make very confusing paragraphs when posting (Not to mention speaking.)

 

So no worries!

 

People should feel it's okay to cry. Just a way of showing emotion.

Very true, still, while it should be something people are ok to do, it's not for many, easier said than done as they say.

 

It really depends, but in some cases I am definitely afraid of crying.

 

For example if I cry after hearing a piece of beautiful music; then all is fine and dandy.

 

But if I cry during a period of stress or whatnot, then I tend to get chastised for that by my family. Being a 28 yr old guy from southern West Virginia, it can get difficult. Many times during my youth I was threatened by my folks that they'd force me to wear a dress to school. Every time I'd shed a tear during times of great stress, I was called girly, weak, a baby, or what have you.

 

It's left a bit of a stigma on me, BUT during such times I do tend to cry. I can't stop it. My throat clenches to the point where I can't talk and the tears flow. Even now-a-days my parents REALLY get on to me about that. I tell them it's nature's method of stress relief and that tears are essential, but I doubt they believe me. It's the misconception that only girls cry. If men cry; we're weak.

 

*Sigh.* Whatever.

Wow, I feel bad that you had to endure such harsh consequences simply for crying, while crying may have been discouraged by most everyone around me considering i'm a guy(Or atleast that's certainly how it feels in many cases.) I wasn't threatened by my parents for something like that.

 

I really dislike when people just can't understand that crying is ok, it is a display of emotions, and emotions are part of what makes us human. It is a great and beautiful thing to have emotions, and thus they should be expressed.

 

Right off the bat, crying is the reason I got bullied in primary school. Something that helped to protect me later on was coming off as someone who is seemingly emotionless and desensitized.

 

And even when I do allow myself to cry, I try not to make a sound -- unless I'm either very isolated or in a soundproof room.

 

Have I cried in the past 5 years? Yes. Back when I used to read fan fiction, I've read some very sad ones like Final Dream of a Filly. I did cry a lot -- more than I have in years prior -- but when it was done, my shoulders felt a little lighter, as though some of that sadness that had been welling up had dissipated.

 

May sound corny, sure, but it's the truth in the best way I could describe it.

I'm really sorry to hear :/. I wasn't bullied from my experiences crying(still very few) maybe partially because I was homeschooled, and thus given a bit of breathing room on things, especially so for the 1st yearish. I've cried afterwards, but it's been around band members I think everytime, and they seem to be understanding, plus it's only been like twice in my time in highschool. 

 

But I'm really sorry to hear about that. 

 

But I totally agree, regardless of if it's corny or not, crying feels great when you do finally cry afterwards, it's like your tears are made of pure stress, and after you finish crying, you feel like that stress just evaporates with your tears.

 

That's part of the reason I wish I cried more often in a way, because usually I end up releasing emotions via anger and stuff, which is much more destructive.

 

I'm thinking there could be more to it than just that, though how much there is I cannot really say.

Crying appears to be like a call for attention. If someone is crying when surrounded by those with empathy and/or understanding, what I'd imagine would happen is that those people would turn their attention to the person crying and attend to the person. That there's a saying that reads "cry for attention" sorta attests to it.

 

Although in this society, seeking attention is largely condemned and shamed. Heck, people tend to be aversive to just drawing attention to themselves.

Well, crying is a call for attention, it draws attention to yourself, I think that's part of the function of it, along with stress relief.

 

And I don't think anythings wrong with that. Sometimes people need understanding, comfort, and empathy, because they're going through a lot, and crying is a way to show that in a way if you think about it. 

 

I don't think anythings wrong with needing attention every so often, especially if you don't have lots of friends to give you that all the time. Despite what society may think about attention. Obviously there is a limit of to much, and people need to learn that you can't always have that attention(honestly I have issues with attention myself, in that I feel like I don't get enough, i will admit, and maybe in many cases I don't depending, especially since I lack much of any friends) but regardless someone wanting attention isn't bad, and neither is them getting it. Moderation is important of course, and knowing when it's to much.

 

But I believe part of crying is a sort of call for attention, it's kind of like saying "Hey, i'm hurting/stressed/overwhelmed/sad/whatever and I need some comfort."

 

Getting comfort when your crying is so heartwarming too, even seeing others get it is. Unfortunately, it's more rare I find than i'd like.

 

That's all just my opinions though.

[ponylaces 1,870]

Wow this is a very deep, but interesting topic.

 

Besides pain, I don't cry very often. I think the last time I cried was last year when I disappointed a teacher that I really looked up to. It was the worst feeling in the world

 

I don't think crying makes you less of a man. You can't just keep your emotions in all the time. That would lead to some really bad consequences. Sometimes you need to cry, so it's not a bad thing. I wouldn't be embarrassed or afraid about it.

[NotoriousSMALL 1,984]

Never really feel the need to.

[Ryzu 984]

I happen to cry a bit more often then a lot of people. I often go to special services at my school seeking help and I rarely don't cry. Every year or so someone dies at my school. I've cried every time but never met a single one of those people. You should never feel ashamed to cry, it's life's natural way of calling for help. People these days started to change that a bit though. Instead of plain out calling for help, they started to believe in darkness, and do such things as cutting instead or along with it. I wish that wasn't the way it was.

 

Ever since I was small, I saw myself as weak. I was always such a coward, never standing up for myself. I have forged a path against that, slowly becoming brave to stop it. Crying can not make you less tough. I've had many "dark" friends. When I finally get them to speak their feelings, and I try to prove them wrong, they often mention how I'm so much stronger then them.  The first time I heard it I couldn't believe it. I was always the weakest link, the useless one. Apparently that was only in my eyes. There was one time, I was about to walk into a room, but heard this kid talking behind my back. I took a step back and decided to listen. Every person fought against that kid. Saying things like I'm strong, or brave, or amazing. I can't be sure if they were making it up, or speaking the truth, but I cried for a long time hearing that, and I didn't understand why. Was it happiness? Or sorrow? They were speaking of me like I was the person I wanted to be, which I never even thought I had the potential to be.

 

I happen to have lost my train of thought, getting kinda emotional. But just don't ever be ashamed to cry. I've been called a crybaby before, and it hurt a lot. Having someone harassing you everyday telling you the things that you tell yourself everyday confirming to you that those things are true even if they aren't is not something you should just accept. I learned that you don't have to be special to be brave or fight back, and I no longer let tears or fear stop me from standing up for the things and people I care about.

 

(Note: I'm tired. Sorry if none of this makes sense or is out of order.)

Edited September 22, 2014 by Ryzu

[Zygen 6,066]

I think crying is fine so long as it's in a situation where doing so makes sense and it doesn't get too out of control.

 

I can't really say I'm afraid to cry, but due to how I grew up (it actually has nothing to do with my parents and family), I find it hard to cry at all. It may also be due to the fact that my life recently has been pretty good with no real sad or depressing moments to speak of. I just can't do it unless I hear a certain kind of song, or something affects me personally so much that I feel very grieved. Even when I do cry, it's when I'm by myself or with a close family member like my mom.

 

Overall, I just can't find myself crying or even showing much emotion entirely.

Yeah, I don't really cry that often either, despite not having any issues with it.

 

I hardly cry like I've said, honestly most times I cry is from frusteration overload or something, and not even sadness, because during sadness I just usually am to afraid to cry, even if It's entirely ok.

 

crying helps flow emotions out and makes you feel anew. so crying is perfectly fine

I agree, but unfortunately for many it becomes hardwired into your mind that it isn't fine, and it makes it hard to cry in the first place regardless of the situation.

 

I'm not actually afraid of crying. I just don't cry because it's hard for me to express myself. This is because of having autism and other conditions. However, if I do end up crying it's most likely due to someone triggering one of my meltdowns. I have cried a few times after losing friends before and stuff like that, but I don't make it a habit because it's extremely difficult for me to express it.

Ok, forgive me for my lack of understanding, but is it possible to explain what you mean by feeling like you cannot express yourself while crying? Idk, i'm just confused, like you cannot cry? Or idk, i'm confused.

 

Sorry, if you don't really understand my question, or just can't answer it you don't have to, I was just a little confused on what exactly you mean.

 

Wow this is a very deep, but interesting topic.

 

Besides pain, I don't cry very often. I think the last time I cried was last year when I disappointed a teacher that I really looked up to. It was the worst feeling in the world

 

I don't think crying makes you less of a man. You can't just keep your emotions in all the time. That would lead to some really bad consequences. Sometimes you need to cry, so it's not a bad thing. I wouldn't be embarrassed or afraid about it.

Yeah, this topic is pretty deep, but I do find it interesting aswell(Which is why I've been so involved in it thus far ;p.)

 

I happen to cry a bit more often then a lot of people. I often go to special services at my school seeking help and I rarely don't cry. Every year or so someone dies at my school. I've cried every time but never met a single one of those people. You should never feel ashamed to cry, it's life's natural way of calling for help. People these days started to change that a bit though. Instead of plain out calling for help, they started to believe in darkness, and do such things as cutting instead or along with it. I wish that wasn't the way it was.

 

Ever since I was small, I saw myself as weak. I was always such a coward, never standing up for myself. I have forged a path against that, slowly becoming brave to stop it. Crying can not make you less tough. I've had many "dark" friends. When I finally get them to speak their feelings, and I try to prove them wrong, they often mention how I'm so much stronger then them.  The first time I heard it I couldn't believe it. I was always the weakest link, the useless one. Apparently that was only in my eyes. There was one time, I was about to walk into a room, but heard this kid talking behind my back. I took a step back and decided to listen. Every person fought against that kid. Saying things like I'm strong, or brave, or amazing. I can't be sure if they were making it up, or speaking the truth, but I cried for a long time hearing that, and I didn't understand why. Was it happiness? Or sorrow? They were speaking of me like I was the person I wanted to be, which I never even thought I had the potential to be.

 

I happen to have lost my train of thought, getting kinda emotional. But just don't ever be ashamed to cry. I've been called a crybaby before, and it hurt a lot. Having someone harassing you everyday telling you the things that you tell yourself everyday confirming to you that those things are true even if they aren't is not something you should just accept. I learned that you don't have to be special to be brave or fight back, and I no longer let tears or fear stop me from standing up for the things and people I care about.

 

(Note: I'm tired. Sorry if none of this makes sense or is out of order.)

I kind of admire your ability to express your emotions. 

 

And yeah, I agree, it's unfortunate that many people desort to self hurt and such for substitutes. And i've even known people who have done such things, or even currently do these things, but I also understand it's hard to quit once you start. And it's just a very difficult situation.

 

I feel bad that i've actually had two people die last year at our school, and I even knew one of them somewhat, and knew many of her friends, very close friends, who were deeply affected, I may not be super super close to them all, or really even close to any of them, but I can tell it affects them, a few have even spoken to me about it, and I don't really know what to say.

 

But I feel like such an insensitive jerk, because honestly, I never shed a tear for either of the deaths, actually, there were 3 deaths, but I only really knew one, but I didn't cry over any of them ever, and I feel like such a jerk for it.

 

There is also the time I had to give away my dog due to some family issues with housing and no longer being able to keep him, but again, i didn't shed a tear.

 

i just feel so insensitive, and honestly many times I wish I wasn't, but that fear of crying lingers in so many cases that I just don't feel comfortable crying in most cases. Infact, I never really feel comfortable, but sometimes I just can't take it.

 

Maybe I just don't have enough close friends who would be willing to be there when I feel the need to cry, and part of that is because I'm a guy, and many guys I know would not do such a thing, girls on the other hand are ok with it, but guys many are a different story. They'd probably just tell me to toughen up. Some may simply scold or laugh at me.

 

But while I feel I am unable to cry in many cases, I do admire your bravery and ability to do so and such.

 

And don't worry, i can be really unorganized even when I'm not tired ;p.

[Haruhi-chan 487]

Ok, forgive me for my lack of understanding, but is it possible to explain what you mean by feeling like you cannot express yourself while crying? Idk, i'm just confused, like you cannot cry? Or idk, i'm confused.

 

Sorry, if you don't really understand my question, or just can't answer it you don't have to, I was just a little confused on what exactly you mean.

 

 

No, I mean... I cry during meltdowns, but only if they are triggered. So, I do cry. I mean that like crying because I got hurt or crying because someone hurt my feelings or something... that's usually where it becomes harder. I just don't express crying the same way a normal person does. I'm more likely to hold on in, which I know is bad.

 

I can't really explain it anymore than that.

[Veritum 258]

Well considering almost any mildly sad scene in any of my favorite shows (Doctor who, mlp, etc.) can set me off balling like an idiot for the next half hour, I think crying is perfectly normal. Though if possible I do generally try to not do it in public since most people would take that as weakness, but that really only applies in school settings to be honest.

[SparklingSwirls 21,606]

I'm afraid to cry in public, yes. I'm afraid that people will make fun of me (it's happened in the past) so I try my best to hold it in. However, I'll sometimes cry in private if I'm really sad about something...

[Overdrive 5,366]

My honest answer: no, I'm not afraid to cry. I've been through a lot in life, and I've learned it's just better to let it out than to hold it in and let it build up. I don't cry much, but when I do, I have a good reason to.

[Snow Frostflame 3,571]

I'm not afraid to cry but the only time I will ever cry is when I'm truly sad but the only time that ever happens to me is when I'm at a funeral

[Zygen 6,066]

No, I mean... I cry during meltdowns, but only if they are triggered. So, I do cry. I mean that like crying because I got hurt or crying because someone hurt my feelings or something... that's usually where it becomes harder. I just don't express crying the same way a normal person does. I'm more likely to hold on in, which I know is bad.

 

I can't really explain it anymore than that.

Oh, ok, so basically you can cry during times where you have meltdowns, but when it comes to crying because of feeling sad or hurt or whatever, you find it difficult. 

 

That actually makes pretty good sense, assuming my understanding is correct.

 

Infact, to an extent it's similar to how I am with crying. Most times i can remember that I've cried have been from becoming exceedingly frustrated, and just kinda breaking down. 

 

But honestly I don't cry almost ever when it comes to sad things many times, of course, I think it's due alot to society scaring me from it, but regardless.

 

I am not autistic or anything(atleast i've never been diagnosed or anything, not that i've been screened ever, but regardless, i don't think i am to my knowledge) so I mean no offense, I'm just saying that I can identify, to a lesser extent of course.

 

Thank you for the clarification btw .

[Ryzu 984]

I kind of admire your ability to express your emotions. 

 

And yeah, I agree, it's unfortunate that many people desort to self hurt and such for substitutes. And i've even known people who have done such things, or even currently do these things, but I also understand it's hard to quit once you start. And it's just a very difficult situation.

 

I feel bad that i've actually had two people die last year at our school, and I even knew one of them somewhat, and knew many of her friends, very close friends, who were deeply affected, I may not be super super close to them all, or really even close to any of them, but I can tell it affects them, a few have even spoken to me about it, and I don't really know what to say.

 

But I feel like such an insensitive jerk, because honestly, I never shed a tear for either of the deaths, actually, there were 3 deaths, but I only really knew one, but I didn't cry over any of them ever, and I feel like such a jerk for it.

 

There is also the time I had to give away my dog due to some family issues with housing and no longer being able to keep him, but again, i didn't shed a tear.

 

i just feel so insensitive, and honestly many times I wish I wasn't, but that fear of crying lingers in so many cases that I just don't feel comfortable crying in most cases. Infact, I never really feel comfortable, but sometimes I just can't take it.

 

Maybe I just don't have enough close friends who would be willing to be there when I feel the need to cry, and part of that is because I'm a guy, and many guys I know would not do such a thing, girls on the other hand are ok with it, but guys many are a different story. They'd probably just tell me to toughen up. Some may simply scold or laugh at me.

 

But while I feel I am unable to cry in many cases, I do admire your bravery and ability to do so and such.

 

And don't worry, i can be really unorganized even when I'm not tired ;p.

I think I didn't turn out that way because of my urge to rebel against people who didn't think I was good enough or unable to do things. I remember as a kid I broke into the medicine cabinet and figured out how to open a child-proof bottle of medication and did just to prove I could do it. Thank god I didn't want to swallow pills >.<. And also I had few friends and didn't talk to too many people too much as a kid. I was and I'm pretty sure still am an outcast.

[Zygen 6,066]

I think I didn't turn out that way because of my urge to rebel against people who didn't think I was good enough or unable to do things. I remember as a kid I broke into the medicine cabinet and figured out how to open a child-proof bottle of medication and did just to prove I could do it. Thank god I didn't want to swallow pills >.<. And also I had few friends and didn't talk to too many people too much as a kid. I was and I'm pretty sure still am an outcast.

Well, I guess being a rebellious person can be beneficial in many ways too!

 

Being a bit introverted is fine, not everyone is a social butterfly, as long as you have atleast someone, not everyone likes to have a million friends or anything.

[Ryzu 984]

Well, I guess being a rebellious person can be beneficial in many ways too!

 

Being a bit introverted is fine, not everyone is a social butterfly, as long as you have at least someone, not everyone likes to have a million friends or anything.

._. Ironically I don't really have anyone atm.

[Petal Dancer 55]

I don't want others to see me cry, but when I'm alone it's okay.

[Commander Frost 731]

Not really afraid...I just can't cry.

[Zygen 6,066]

._. Ironically I don't really have anyone atm.

Oh, sorry..

 

Well, if it makes you feel any better, I don't really have anyone I can say I feel is a close friend right now myself. Friends maybe, but idk about close friends.

[Vae Victis 742]

Honestly, it's okay to cry. Hell, if anything, it proves that you are strong. You are willing to show your true feelings, whether it be to yourself, or to others. You cast away your pride, and if that isn't a mature act, I don't know what is.

 

 

I envy anyone who still has the ability. I lost my ableness to cry a long time ago. If I could, I would.

[Ryzu 984]

Not really afraid...I just can't cry.

I have the same sort of problem, just not with crying. It's with enthusiasm. I used to be able to get excited but now I can't for some reason. If I try the closest I get is a fluttershy "yay".

[Invincible 2,092]

Am i afraid to cry? No. There's no shame in crying - i just find less and less things worth crying about. Iv'e stopped crying years ago (about 4 years ago) after a personal tragedy that left me in shambles. Iv'e been doing what i can to pick myself up since... so i refuse to cry while there's still hope.

[Pat.Rio.T. 305]

I am not afraid to cry. Not that I cry very often, though depending on the situation, it could be embarrassing. The last time I really cried, was when I was tasked with putting one of our old chickens down. The pellet gun wasn't working, so I had to resort to more old fashioned means. I couldn't do it, but I had to do it, and I burst out crying in front of my Mom.

Edited September 22, 2014 by Pat.Rio.T.

[Samurai Equine 57,013]

Oh boy... Let's just say, becoming a man has been difficult over the years. Mostly because, growing up, I didn't have a father to show me the way.

 

To answer the question, yes, I do cry. But only when I feel like the situation calls for it. I try not to wear my emotions on my sleeve these days...

 

When I was a little boy in elementary school, I remember a time when I was crying. Something unfair had set me off. But everyone was walking away and ignoring me completely, including teachers. In that moment, I forced myself to stop crying. I told myself "Men don't cry. It's time to grow up and stop being a baby." I was probably in the 1st or 2nd grade at the time. When you're a kid and a boy, crying doesn't earn you sympathizers or friends. At most, other kids will just laugh at you and make fun of you for being a crybaby.

 

And for many years in my life, I didn't cry at all, even when I felt terrible inside. I bottled up most of my emotions, and it turned me into a complete wreck. But as I became an adult, and with the help of girlfriends and other adults older and wiser than me, I learned a few things. I learned...

• Throw away your foolish pride. Pride is okay to have, but not when it is foolish. Not when it keeps you from making an emotional connection to those closest to you and those who want to be close to you. Not when it keeps you from being a better person.
• Having emotions doesn't make you weak, it makes you human. Despite what others may say, we all do. Just telling someone to "toughen up" or "stop crying" is an emotional response as well. None of us are unfeeling robots.
• It's okay to cry. Sh*t happens in life. People you love die, people make mistakes, nothing lasts forever, and our lives can fall apart around us. If we can't grieve, we can never move on. There's no shame in crying when we need to.

Eventually, I learned to let go and let it out, to feel like a normal human being, and yes I even re-taught myself how to cry. And you know what? I'm better for it.

 

But I've had so much drama in my life, I've decided it's no use just being a bundle of nerves and emotion. If you want to see my emotions, you have to earn it. You have to get to know me better, someone has to pass on, you have to share in the things I like and don't like. Outside of that, I'd rather not get emotional if I don't have to. Maybe, if I can be stronger then that, I might be able to the pillar of strength that people can rely on.

Edited September 22, 2014 by Samurai Equine

[Rainblow H. Ash 5,091]

It takes a lot to make me cry. I have to really feel a well of emotions to shed some tears.

 

When I was a kid, not so much. I'd cry at least once every few months. But as I got older... I just didn't cry all that often.

 

One thing that I want to say on this is that there is a little myth around the whole "crying doesn't make you a man" thing. I grew up around nothing but men and women who thought that dudes crying was weird, but in the end some of those same people I've seen cry.

 

But only when the time is right.

 

The reason people say not to cry because to me crying is a powerful thing to do. It shows that you are filled with such a strong emotion, whether it's tears of joy, sadness, or a combination of both, that to me to cry all of the time would be to waste something like that. Tears are something I think should be shed when the moment is right. For some people maybe that's more often than others, but I only cry when I have something worth crying over.

 

Some of the most "manly" moments I've had in my life happened while "manly" dudes were crying.

 

That's about all I wanna say on this.