Useless Superpowers!

[Hocus Pocus 636]

If you had to pick a super power that would be completely impractical and make you a useless Superhero, what would it be?

 

Stuff like the ability to open beer bottles with your mind! The ability to speak in dubstep! The ability to turn into a peacock once per day for no more than six seconds! Or even the ability to turn invisible when nobody is looking at you (Security cameras count)! How about the ability to have wings, but not be able to fly? Or even fly (but not more than half an inch off of the ground)!

 

Personally I'm split between either being able to change something's color by thinking about it (oh you're robbing a bank? well now your hair is puke green!) or the ability to play background music from nowhere.

 

Then again, the ability to change my outfit at will would be a fun one as well!

 

 

What about you guys? How lame of a superhero can YOU be?

[Disk Spinner 51]

the power to have any power but nobody could ever see you useing it

or be able to fail any test ever

[Tao 7,510]

My Power:  Make bubbles out of my ears when I fart!

[Koukatsu 5,899]

The ability to become opaque.

As in, suddenly become completely one solid color.

Like, from head to toe, be cream colored.

[Mesme Rize 15,683]

Minigolf powers. I could master every course with one putt.

[Nameless Knight 1,001]

The power to make yourself 3 nano-meters taller or the ability to fly two inches off the ground at the stunning speed of 2 miles per hour.

[NuclearBurg (Dawn) 622]

The power to turn into a magikarp at the slightest note of danger. Then instantly use splash...

[GenderIsAnIllusion 2,177]

The power to levitate objects.... one atom at a time.

[Fhaolan 4,483]

I've made many a useless superhero character:

 

Man-man, the Schizoid Superhero: Has the strength, speed, and wisdom of a perfectly normal person. Just which perfectly normal person changes on occasion.

 

Blazon: Can burst into flame at will. Is not, however, immune to fire in any way.

 

Sessile: Cannot move. Ever, as he can't turn the power off. Last I checked he got an upgrade so that he became a fixed point in the universe... and flew off the Earth to effectively 'float' in space with no way to reach any planet unless it accidentally ran into him.

[Samurai Equine 50,890]

Hmm... Useless super powers...

 

Eternal life without eternal beauty or eternal health. Basically, become an immortal senior citizen.

 

Immune to any sickness, disease, or injury; but it's impossible to extract or copy your DNA so that people can make cures based on your DNA.

 

Okay, maybe those don't count as a super power. Let me see here...

 

Magically summon bird seeds!

 

Make time slow down, but only when you're bored.

 

The power to turn inanimate objects into living creatures, but only for about 5-10 seconds. Long enough to say Hi before they revert back to normal. And you can never do it again on the same object twice.

 

Then again, the ability to change my outfit at will would be a fun one as well!

 

That's not useless, that's awesome! Especially if you're into fashion. And even if you're not, you can still use it to sneak into places. Just transform your outfit into a company uniform. 

[NamelessHorse 59]

Melt Man....with the power to.....melt.

[1111 1,284]

Melt Man....with the power to.....melt.

Well Icescreem had that power, but he melted into ice cream and it was a real marvel/dc hero.  I forget which one. My useless power would be the power to look into the future, but I don't remember what I see.

[pakicetus 312]

Melt Man....with the power to.....melt.

 

You can make grilled cheeses though

[Tom Snyder 4,112]

My Power:  Make bubbles out of my ears when I fart!

Omg i would love to see that! 

 

Edited January 20, 2015 by Candy Star

[Tilt 286]

Normal man! - The power to do everything sub-par and never exceed the requirements of your goal.

[Sunny Fox 5,950]

The power to read people's minds, but only by holding their temples with both hands while chanting "MIND READ! MIND READ!" at the top of my lungs. 

 

The ability to turn into stone, but only when completely submerged in water.

[LordSwinton 759]

The ability to change the colour of the ink in the pen you're holding!

[Invincible 2,091]

The super ability to unlearn any other ability iv'e learned.

[VitalSpark 1,830]

The power to rewind VHS tapes instantly.

 

And the power to dial rotary dial telephones telepathically.

 

 

Blazon: Can burst into flame at will. Is not, however, immune to fire in any way.

 

Blazon is best useless superhero!

 

 

My useless power would be the power to look into the future, but I don't remember what I see.

 

There are of course many possible futures. Some more likely than others. One good useless power would be to look into the future, but only see unlikely scenarios.

[An Unknown Pony. 370]

The Ability to predict something happening in 1 second later 

[Castle_Cross 331]

The super power of cooking 1 minute rice in 57 seconds!!

[Gouunta 59]

Ability to generate and then shoot toothpaste from my nose.

[Plume 922]

The ability to teleport...

 

About 1/2 an inch away.

[Odyssey 5,715]

The ability to crush anything at will with your bare hands. The catch is anything you touch will break.

 

EDIT: Here's another useless ability... the ability to turn anything into Skittles just by touching it.

 

Edited January 20, 2015 by Odyssey

[Iiznocannon45 46]

The power to make yourself better, but nobody will care.

 

The power to sing "99 bottles of beer" the longest.