Chuck norris jokes?

[Parties like Pinkie 385]

Chuck norris isn't some god, he's just a normal person, if he's an all powerful being I challenge him to teleport behind me, grab my hair, and start banging my head against the keybhyuejiwjudhrhyej hdjuhejkdjuie3e je hjwe hjekiwjeh rhjud

 

Also, when Chuck Norris Spontanieously Combusts, he just sprouts another Chuck Norris

[Victoria and Co. 782]

Sorry, but you misspelled Charles Nelson Reilly.

*shrugpony*

If I were you, I'd start running.

 

 

[Strafe 594]

Kids wear superman pajamas, superman wears Chuck Norris Pajamas and Chuck Norris wears Strafe Pajamas. True story.

[Nightfall 3,950]

Riiiiiiiight... /)_-

The last person who said that still hasn't been found... he has been missing since 1776.

[Parties like Pinkie 385]

Chuck Norris once punched the ground.

 

 

The resulting crater is now known as the Grand Canyon.

 

 

ALSO: i felt that this vid belonged in this thread :3 enjoy!! I apologize in advance for profanity, hence the spoiler.

 

 

[go away seb 367]

Before bed, kids check their closet for the boogeyman.

 

Before bed, the boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

Before bed, Chuck Norris checks his closet for Fluttershy.

[Parties like Pinkie 385]

Chuck Norris once stared at a Cockatrice.

 

There is now a statue of a chicken snake on Chuck's fireplace mantle.

[Fire_Fly 499]

Midway wanted to commission Chuck Norris as a guest character in Mortal Kombat 9, but looking at his beard triggered a fatality... So Midway decided to be fair and go with Kratos instead.

[ZomBrony 347]

It takes a normal human all their mental powers to use Telekinesis, Chuck Norris simply thinks "Move"

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

the creators of mlp once tried to guest star Chuck Norris as a bull sheriff for an episode, but then decided it would be to awesome for both mlp and Chuck Norris, so the chose not to.

[Parties like Pinkie 385]

There was once an idea for Mario to have two difficulties: Easy, and Chuck Norris.

 

 

The idea was scrapped, as the player lost all his/her lives before the stage even started.

[ZomBrony 347]

Chuck Norris tried to make a song once, but as soon as he tried to go live with it, everypony's heads exploded because of the strength of his singing voice

[Ganaram Inukshuk 3,682]

Before bed, kids check their closet for the boogeyman.

 

Before bed, the boogeyman checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

 

Before bed, Chuck Norris checks his closet for Fluttershy.

 

You forgot one thing: Before bed, Fluttershy checks the closet for kids.

 

And another thing: Remember how Red Bull can clog a toilet? That's because it's the Allspark. Reasoning:

 

- Chuck Norris once p!ss'd in the gas tank of a semi-truck. It's called Optimus Prime.

[Critical Hit 69]

Chuck Norris seasons his food with pepper spray.

Chuck Norris can set ants on fire with a magnifying glass... At night.

 

 

 

This isn't a Chuck Norris joke, but it is a Chuck Norris videogame.

 

http://sandbox.yoyog...13979-norrisman

 

Edited April 18, 2012 by Critical Hit

[Rainboom24 46]

Bullets are allergic to chuck norris. that's why they don't kill him.

[go away seb 367]

The speed of Chuck Norris's punches makes light wish it could go faster.

[Doctor Whooves™ 332]

Chuck Norris' watch isn't coordinated with the sun, it's the other way around.

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

Chuck Norris had a brother in Atlantis, but one day, his brother called him Duck Norris. And that was the day Atlantis sank

[Literally Snails 2,307]

Chuck Norris got in a knife fight... the knife lost.

[Doctor Whooves™ 332]

Chuck Norris once raced with his pick-up in the Monte Carlo Grand Prix.

The pick-up came in second.

[Staticthor Draconus 958]

IN SOVIET RUSSIA, CHUCK NORRIS STILL KILL YOU

[ZomBrony 347]

I think this was already used, but I just remembered it and it's an awesome one (I'm always going to expand it)

 

Chidren check their closets for the boogey man

The boogey man checks his closet for Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris checks his closet for Fluttershy

Fluttershy checks her closet for Angel

Angel checks his closet for Fluttershy as well, Angel also checks his closet for Chuck Norris and the Boogey man, Angel is very paranoid

[Parties like Pinkie 385]

Chuck Norris and John Rambo once got in a gun fight.

 

However, it soon stopped, as they realized the bullets bounced off their bodies.

 

Thus the first game of "Bullet Pong" was started.

Edited April 20, 2012 by Parties like Pinkie

[Fire_Fly 499]

Superman is faster than a speeding bullet, more powerful than a locomotive, and able to leap tall buildings in a single bound.

 

Chuck Norris is as fast as Chuck Norris, as powerful as Chuck Norris, and able to leap as high as Chuck Norris...

[Doctor Whooves™ 332]

When he was small, Chuck Norris' real name was actually Carlos Ray Norris. He legally changed his name after his idol, Chuck Norris.