health What Experiences Have You Had With Depression?

[EpicEnergy 23,146]

How has it affected you? How much depression have you endured?

As for me, I've only had one major experience with depression, and I'm still going through it right now. It started 2 years ago at the beginning of 2018, and it got really bad. It got better though when I took counseling and anti-depressants. As of now it still lingers, and I'm continuing with counseling and anti-depressants.

[Bastian 13,319]

Zero so far, and you can bet your right eye that I won't get depressed! My happiness will endure!

[Thuja 3,658]

I've had depression at least since I was 10 due to being abused and bullied as a child and also gender dysphoria(which I didn't realize that was a part of why I had depression in the first place).  I've made a few attempts and some nights spent writing suicide notes in the bath tub.  Still working on it, hopefully I'll get to be who I want to be at some point.  Been on different meds since I was 17 or 16, I think?  What I'm on now is really helping, started Trintellix last year or the one before that.

[Lucky Bolt 35,061]

I deal with it a little bit, but it's due to things I have going on in my personal life right now that are causing me to have mild depression. It's nothing major that I need medication for, which I'm thankful. 

[chaosprincess 1,067]

I've dealt with depression quite a lot not going to go into to much detail with it otherwise would be here for years writing it , but when the feeling arises I turn to music I find music to be so calming in the worst of times and my dogs they maybe old, but whenever it gets bad they are always right by my side looking at me with such big brown eyes of joy and give me a whole lot of kisses so can't help, but smile.

I suppose we will all experience times if a small form of depression or a stronger urge of hopelessness, but there will always be a star in the darkest of times that will lead you out just have to look for it.

Edited March 13, 2020 by chaosprincess

[aoEAF2FBvC0MIo2Q 3,673]

Like you wouldn't believe. I sometimes wonder how is it I am still alive. I have felt my blood turn to acid and my chest feeling like I was buried alive. This is just the tip of the iceberg. 

But it seems like the worst is over. Things changed for the better and I'm in a better place in my life now. I did not come back out the same person I was. To this day, I look back on that dark time in my life as a grim reminder to take nothing for granted.

[Cash In 22,186]

My experience with depression has been very on and off. The worst case of it started back in late 2018 and is still going on right now. There has definitely been an improvement, but I'm still not at the level I would like to be.

[Oblivion 20,266]

The last three years I have been dealing with what I would consider pretty severe depression. Mostly environmental as of late and things I'd rather not go on about (some of you already know I'm always available for private messaging if anyone would like to talk etc) but I've gone as far as doing something I swore I'd never do that being self harming because of anger towards myself and all the failures I've endured. I really need therapy or something along those lines but that all costs money usually over 100 to 200 dollars for a 1 hour session which is insane. So until then I'll just keep fighting and not give in.

I also must mention that since connecting with @Deerie again which is a long time friend really helps numb lots of it and forget the bad etc, I might not be here without her to be honest so in so many thousands of times grateful for her warmth and company as well as a few others I've connected with here as well. So thank you! 

[Dreambiscuit 9,575]

I used to have it pretty bad. When I was a teenager I had no outlet for what I needed to do and it led to some pretty dark times. The doctor put me on Zoloft (which didn’t work at all) and I just put on a fake smile and trudged through it until I was old enough to take some control over my own existence. I feel a lot better now, but I still get a little down from time to time. I try not to dwell too much on it because it does no good.  

[Twilight Luna 31,336]

I go through occasional bouts of depression where I don’t feel good about myself and I shut down. I already have a low opinion of myself. So, that doesn’t help.

[Jesse Terrence 2,968]

The strongest depressive episode I had was a couple years ago when my ex appeared with the new bf of hers and... a lot of stuff broke down in my life.

I became a functional alcoholic to cope with all that crap and focus on the only thing I had left at the moment -my career-. I'm doing fine without the drinking nowadays, though I have my abstinence symdrome episodes when I'm feeling down and depressed. Is a vicious cicle that feedbacks itself. If grief hits me after a terrible failure or a big loss, I feel that lousy anxiety and the general illness of the drawback, and that feeds the grief and stress from the failure.

[Pandora 38,014]

I've got both Depression and Mass-Anxiety for years now, it's kind of hard to tell which part has been hardest since it keeps coming back regardless what I try but I hate that it drains me so much and makes me not want to do the things I used to love doing. After a heavy anxiety episode i'm so drained i just sleep after and it happens with depression too though. It's a miracle i still live but i do. <3

[Steve Piranha 29,414]

I had it pretty bad since I was a teen and ended a mere 3 and a half years ago. I’m think I survived  mostly because of intense hatred on my aggressors and love for ponies (which is why I’m so attached to them )

[HereComesTom 2,263]

I've discovered that depression can take a surprising number of forms---not just sadness, but also anger, or even just complete lack of motivation.  I've had times when I had suicidal thoughts, and wished to act on them, but couldn't because I didn't have the emotional energy to do more than go through the motions of my daily routine.

It's happened on and off, depending on what triggered me.  But I made it a point never to tell anyone that I had suicidal thoughts, because I've seen videos of people being tackled to the ground and treated like criminals, all because they admitted they were suicidal.  I figured it'd only make things a hundred times worse if I had actually told a living soul about my suicidal thoughts.

[Fluttershyfan94 5,742]

Yo I wasn't always this happy boi as I am now. I've had depression from a very young age and frankly it has followed me to this point and on. Was not until after a couple of attempts to end it that I sought help, thanks to a friend on here who encouraged me to do so. So yeah, I got the diagnosis for depression and anxiety. So I said, yo doc give me some of them happy pills will ya? He said, yeah dude that's how it is you can spend days talking about it or just get them happy pills so I did. Got them happy pills, twice a day I would and I got so sick from it I couldn't do anything for weeks. So that was all good, my fren strong as a stallion. Yet then as I continued I was beginning to realize all I was feeling is this numb feeling, nothing really just no emotions. 

Then suddenly I was the happiest boi ever for two weeks, so happy it felt so good then I felt depressed so yeah I eventually stopped using it. I said to the doc, yo thanks for helping me but I hope we won't be meeting again to that he laughed and said take care man you may come back someday I'll be here waiting. He was the coolest bro ever, talking about live and stuff what a cool dude really. Yet having said that, what really helped me is just having friends to encourage me to do so.

Know enjoy life, don't take it so seriously like dudes just be yourself.

Edited April 25, 2020 by Fluttershyfan94

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,298]

Years my man, years. I think I started to feel the effects of depression around age...14 or 15. So basically around the time I started high school! It was not too bad at that time. It probably was the hormone garbage making my mind go into a flux. It certainly got worse in later years, my last year of high school was when my depression and anxiety problems were affecting me constantly. It was around that time it actually started to affect my ability to enjoy the simple things and look forward to stuff.

Since then it has had ups and downs. My main problems are extreme self-esteem problems, feelings of worthlessness, and a lack of hope in the future. I also tend to feel a longing for the past if I think of really good times from before. It sucks because I know I am making good memories even to this day, but these other feelings make it hard to embrace joy fully. To this day I try to always appreciate the simple joys and take passion in what I love regardless of what it is. Could be something incredibly simple that seems insignificant on the surface but it can mean something wonderful when appreciated fully. That's what I try to do to fight these feelings off. Of course I am on medications as well, anyone could have guessed that and they would have been the bingo winner. I still struggle with all of this daily, but some days are definitely better than others.

[Vefka 1,499]

Nothing too serious but there was a moment. When I was ~11 brony fandom was still a phenomenal, I just joined the nerd and started exploring the art in fandom and I really liked fanfics (as I still do). Eventually I was really disappointed in reality and all I wanted was to somehow turn up in Equestria. After a while I read a story where in the end main character dies in real world and appears in Equestria (pretty cliche I'd say), I believed that that's a way and this catalyzed my "depression". For a couple of months I wanted to die, I didn't care about humans, appearance, my future, friends, family, anything. I thought "It's not important anyway, I'm going to die and turn up in Equestria after all" about anything.

Because of this event I still can't read books, humans just don't interest me, I can't sympathize to them (can't say the same about films tho)

[Meson Bolt 2,647]

I tussled with it growing up, from about age 12 there was this constant dread of waking up and having to deal with the next day, and while I seemed alright on the surface I was actually really melancholic and nihilistic, even as a kid. Might have been me just being moody, but when I brought it up to my parents they just ignored me and told me I was seeking attention (which, to be fair, I was the most ignored out of 4 children so I kind of was seeking attention). I managed to hide my issues until about age 16 when I started lashing out at people quite violently.

It got really bad a couple times in the Army. I had suicidal thoughts almost on the daily during the toughest parts of basic training, advanced training, during my first couple of real training events, and even last year in Korea following a really harsh falling out with my at the time best friend. Korea was the closest I got to self-harming, luckily an acquaintance that I'd reconnected with randomly was able to be there for me and bring me out of that spot. I've since gotten way, way better at handling myself and my emotions, and I feel a lot happier nowadays than ever before.

I don't really have advice for anyone going through depression, I'm certainly not an expert and I feel like each case is unique, but if I was to offer advice I'd say don't do anything permanent. You have no idea how good life can be and ending yours early or getting into the habit of self-harming will create nothing but guilt and scars.

[AppleButt 8,675]

I’ve had it around 10 years now. 
 

It was at its worst in 2010-2011 my senior year in high school. 
 

Was dealing with a toxic friend, and just the overwhelming thought of being a senior, sucking at school, and realizing I’d probably get nowhere in life.   I let it all push me over the edge, and I’ll just say  I am only alive today because guns have a safety switch on them.  
 

I wish I had told my parents about my feelings though.  I regret never giving them a chance to help me.
 

I still have it, I got diagnosed with major depression last year, but I’m still trying to find a med that works with no luck so far. 
 

I am much better off today compared.  The suicidal thoughts I had back then no longer exist today. 
 

I’m gonna do my best to weather the storm from now on, even though I get scared of it quite a lot.  Im the type that always assumes there’s gonna be tornadoes in it when it’s just heavy rain. 
 

 And I’m glad to be here cause had i succeeded in my attempt I’d have never got to experience ponies nor all the other cool things I’ve experienced in the 10 years since!  

I wish I had advice to give others, as well, but all I can really say is think before you do something drastic.  Also to seek help, and not wait nearly 10 years to do it. 

Anyway.  That’s been my experience.

Edited April 24, 2020 by AppleButt

[TBD 17,254]

I mean everyone has experienced sort depression to some extend as part of life itself. Don't need to pay a doctor to tell me that. But idk, I hate life in general (sometime). But I don't necessary feel dragged everyday. It's just feel normal(?) 

I do understand that it can get out of hand to the point you need a psychologist help, that's fine. If you feel the need to see psychologist, go for it.  But I think in general, I don't like the idea how society condition depression as something "wrong with you".  People feeling sad/depress is part of life. And it should be treated with care and not try to make profit out of it by sending someone over  assuming they need a psychologist help.

Back in my high school, i remember writing a depressing poetry and boom they send me to see the counselor. To me, that bullshit and a joke. I can be free to express however I feel without people trying to "condition" me.

[TheRockASaurus Rex 50,577]

I was diagnosed with some sort of depression back in 2002 and I still suffer from depression today.

[Splashee 28,560]

I have been lucky as depression is something I was never diagnosed with. One of my IRL friends had depression without treatment or help, and it was not an easy situation.