Is being the "silent type" looked down upon?

[ReverseFaller 2,483]

I'm the silent type myself, and I only really talk to friends. I tend to keep to myself a lot, and I could be more social. I probably should be, and I really should work on this. Anyways, I really couldn't care less if someone is silent, or outgoing. We are all who we are, so why dislike somebody for merely being themselves? Yes, I'm rather quiet. No, I'm not autistic. Even if I was, what would it matter? Would you treat me differently? Gee, thanks.

 

I guess my point is people are judgemental, and jump to conclusions too easily. If someone is quiet it doesn't mean anything is wrong with them, maybe they're just not like you.

[Ianpiersonjdavis 512]

In my personal experience, yes.

 

Growing up I've had severe social anxiety and people at school would either think that I was stupid or some kind of a psycho because of how quiet I was.

[Stealth Flame 2]

Society is stuff I shouldn't say and I personally think it needs to change. I'm quite quiet for the most part- my friends make me a loud and a dirty mouth sometimes.

 

But I believe it is pretty looked down upon. It sucks.

 

Look at the bright side- when you try to kill someone, they won't notice you coming!

[Pomfritter 165]

Because seem to think something is wrong with me quite often. I always assumed it was because I would just stare off into space for extended periods of time in boredom. I have never talked much, since I live with two girls who enjoy talking immensely, I never had a need to, so that probably also has something to  do with people thinking something is wrong with me.

[Fluttershyfan94 5,742]

I think it's looked down upon, I have always been the silent type and people assume that something is wrong with you. First of all I'm silent because I don't want to talk to whoever I'm being silent around. Secondly, I'm introverted so I don't really feel the need. Then last of all I'm shy, so why is it that people just can't seem to leave the silent guy alone.

 

It seems like for some that people think if you're silent you're feeling down or something. I am near sighted so I do squint my eyes sometimes and that made me look like I was angry. So I guess people just assume you have a problem with them and that gives them the right to pick on you. I have no idea why people look down upon silent people but most of them do have something against them alright.

Edited November 21, 2013 by Fluttershyfan94

[Dumb Kitty 2]

In school it is. Outside of school maybe a little but not as much....

I'm kinda quiet in school, but its not just because of my slight shyness, part of it is because I just don't really want to be bothered by that many people other than my friends. What some people don't realize is that just because a person is quiet doesn't mean something's wrong with them. Some people just prefer to not be bothered. Honestly, half the time the reason I don't talk to the people in my classes is because I don't like them...and usually if you don't like someone, you don't waste your breath on them.

 

All of it isn't shyness or self-esteem issues, like most people think.

[Guest]

In most situations yes, being the silent type is completely looked down upon. It's worse when you have an introverted 'silent type', who does not talk to anyone and doesn't really want to be near them either. Although there are places for people like this, it's going to be really hard for you to get anywhere if you don't man up and learn good people skills. Job interviews are more difficult because you're at a disadvantage compared to other people who have good people skills. Ultimately you're going to be one of those people who has to wait for their promotion longer than everyone else,and you even might be one of those people who might end up doing their job completely wrong because of it.

You will not be able to work properly in a team environment which describes pretty much 60-70% of the job market, and you might be able to do work, sit down and get stuff done, but ultimately you'll be handing your work off to someone else and they will be taking credit for it.

Yes, it is looked down upon, and you'll always be at a disadvantage.

[Nulln 755]

I used to be a hyper loud kid.  I got quiet and shy in 6th grade, I have no idea why.  My personality just did a complete 180.  I think people like me a lot more when I was quiet, honestly XD I've only ever had one bad instance with being so shy and quiet, and... my gosh this is embarrassing, but I'll share.  I was on a date and the guy said I was too quiet and took me home, and this was only like after 5 minutes of meeting that made me feel really bad about myself.  I'm trying to be more outgoing, but I don't think I can.

Edited November 22, 2013 by ScumCandy

[Guest]

I used to be a hyper loud kid.  I got quiet and shy in 6th grade, I have no idea why.  My personality just did a complete 180.  I think people like me a lot more when I was quiet, honestly XD I've only ever had one bad instance with being so shy and quiet, and... my gosh this is embarrassing, but I'll share.  I was on a date and the guy said I was too quiet and took me home, and this was only like after 5 minutes of meeting that made me feel really bad about myself.  I'm trying to be more outgoing, but I don't think I can

 

Being outgoing has a lot to do with your mental state, and also your bodily actions.

 

It has been proven through studies and research that if you fake being strong, confident, and "fake it till you make it", it can actually happen.

 

I want to get over all my insecurities and I want to be a 100% social and outgoing person who is not afraid of meeting new people or talking to people who I don't know. To do this I have been training myself to feel powerful, to sit like I'm the head shit, to act like I'm the head shit, then I will be taken as the head shit.

 

It's really down to how much you want it. Do you want to be a social person? Do you want to be able to talk to people and be outgoing? If you do, then there is nothing preventing you from doing it other than yourself. It's like the first couple days of going on a diet, or starting a fitness routine. It'll feel awkward for the start and you won't be quite 100%, but after a while you'll get into the nick of things and you'll be working towards greatness in no time.

[Antismurf9001 1,271]

I used to be a hyper loud kid.  I got quiet and shy in 6th grade, I have no idea why.  My personality just did a complete 180.  I think people like me a lot more when I was quiet, honestly XD I've only ever had one bad instance with being so shy and quiet, and... my gosh this is embarrassing, but I'll share.  I was on a date and the guy said I was too quiet and took me home, and this was only like after 5 minutes of meeting that made me feel really bad about myself.  I'm trying to be more outgoing, but I don't think I can.

 

Aw, that's terrible!  I mean, just... why would he do that?

 

Similarly, I started out as a very silly and outgoing kid, but around 5th grade, I just wasn't anymore.  I'm not entirely sure why, but my guess has been that I realized that the loudest people are also often the most disliked.  Granted, they can also be the most liked (and both simultaneously), but I hate thinking that anyone dislikes me, so I assume that by being silent I remain on neutral ground with everyone.

 

I don't think that it's that bad.  Sure, I end up being the butt end of some jokes (everyone assumes I'm going to snap one day and go on a murderous rampage...) and I miss some opportunities, but otherwise I'm pretty content with my silence.  Now if only I wasn't so socially awkward as well...

[Thrashy 2,800]

Yeah, there definitely seems to be a bit of a prevailing mentality that there's something "wrong" with quiet folks, at least here in the States. I used to get the same kind of treatment from people who thought I was some kind of psychopath or 'ticking time bomb' simply because I never really talked to anyone outside of my small circle of friends. I guess the thinking behind it is that if you're quiet, you're shy; if you're shy, you're timid; if you're timid, you're a doormat; if you're a doormat, you lack ambition; ambition drives this great nation of 'MURICA, therefore the meek only slow progress and should accordingly be shunned. It's really kind of bullshit, you know...can't a guy just be left to his own devices?

 

Anyway, I adapted to society's crap-factor as I got older - while I don't exactly consider myself a social butterfly, I'm at least not half the Fluttershy I used to be. I'm kind of a loudmouth around my best friends, which is to be expected, but around some of my more "casual friends" I do my best to maintain a personable and comedic aura. Sometimes it works, sometimes not. When you get right down to it, I'm still a man of few words, as I'll often fall silent once a conversation runs out of steam since I'm absolutely lousy at coming up with interesting things to talk about on the spot. But, all things considered, I'd rather be a person who can enjoy a comfortable silence without labeling it as "awkward" than to be some oily mannered, silver-tongued car salesman who feels the need to force social interaction where it's not really merited.

[Jokuc 8,173]

It depends in what age you're in. But sometimes, yes. Well, maybe not always looked down upon, but very often, people will think that something has happened to you or they will think you are sad.  I have a person in my class for example who doesn't talk much at all and people believes that he is shy or sad but when I have asked him he have just said that he doesn't like to talk. I don't have any problems with people who are like that at all, in fact, I like shy people since they are usually nicer

 

While I have nothing against it, I must say though that it can be a problem sometimes if you're trying to make friends or something like that since you'll need to talk with people to get to know them.

[crazitaco 596]

I wouldn't say "looked down upon." There may be some slight bias for outgoing types, but its not like people go out of their way to treat quiet people differently..

I'm super quiet, and people seem to accept me the way i am without any issue.

From what i've learned, other people are generally too self-absorbed in their own lives to care about the different mannerisms of others. They may observe that you're quiet, but they'll just shrug it off and go on with their lives unless it violates or disturbs the way they feel. Its not really such a bad thing to be self-absorbed, everyone displays this trait to a certain extent. Especially me!

Edited November 22, 2013 by crazitaco

[Dog man 48]

Well I normally keep to myself in school unless im talked to or im around my friends, I don't think it bothers other people much .we had a communication qualifaction thingy in english which was a class discussion on gun control. While everyone in my group was getting levels 6's and 7's I got a measly level 5, then I felt if people were judging me and frowning upon. I only said one thing and that was when someone asked about my opinion

[Fluttershyfan94 5,742]

On 11/21/2013 at 11:08 PM, Fluttershyfan94 said:

I think it's looked down upon, I have always been the silent type and people assume that something is wrong with you. First of all I'm silent because I don't want to talk to whoever I'm being silent around. Secondly, I'm introverted so I don't really feel the need. Then last of all I'm shy, so why is it that people just can't seem to leave the silent guy alone.

 

It seems like for some that people think if you're silent you're feeling down or something. I am near sighted so I do squint my eyes sometimes and that made me look like I was angry. So I guess people just assume you have a problem with them and that gives them the right to pick on you. I have no idea why people look down upon silent people but most of them do have something against them alright.

I agree with you my past self the eye squinting probably was not really the most friendly thing ever but good we embraced our glasses my bro. Though I believe the silent type to be more respected in a sense or you know someone that you listen to. People might feel it is strange that you don't talk a lot but we do when we want to. Never change past me, though if you do try to talk to every person you like they'll probably enjoy it. UwU.

[Dashy 4 Ever 4,835]

Hell yes. I'm very shy since I've had a hard time making friends and the ones I have are trash anyway, so I'm always that one "mute kid" among others.

Do people judge? Yes. Definitely. People these days go preaching around to be nice and friendly to others who are sad and lonely like this world is some magic fairytale. People will just ignore and discard quite folks. Better to just stay to yourself and your own group.

[TBD 17,254]

I’m the quiet type but people often just leave me be, so I prefer to keep it that way.

But I do have some friends says to me “oh it’s always the quite one” as a joke. 

[Petrus 696]

I personally don’t think it is. People have always been sort of intrigued by me for being so quiet all the time. Granted I think there are people who don’t get it and can’t understand WHY we’re quiet and that bothers them. But most of the people I’ve talked to have been sort of curious about my silence and always kinda wanted to talk because of it. If anything it was a weirdly successful way of making some decent friends. If they weren’t afraid of you and made an effort then you knew they’d be super cool

[Dreambiscuit 9,672]

I don't think silent types are looked down upon. People may not know how to act around someone introverted without something to go on, but that shouldn't be considered a rejection. Other people are sometimes shy and insecure and don't want to say or do the wrong thing when interacting with someone who is quiet, so they stick with what they know. Some of my best friends are introverts, and once I learn about them I find the most fascinating treasures in the world and lifelong best friends.  

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

I think it all depends on what type of “silent type” you are. There’s the silent type that’s simply shy and that kind of quiet can often be cute. Then there’s the sinister quiet, the one that emanates an aura of “im gonna murder everyone in this room with this pen i have in my pocket”. I guess it just depends on your facial expression. The shy silent type, everyone thinks is adorable. The sinister silent type everyone is afraid of. In the middle of that is the “strong silent type”, which is mostly made up of people who can hold themselves in a fight, but choose not to fight. Those guys are kind of in between. 

[Kyoshi Frost Wolf 41,361]

These days being any "type" will be looked down upon by someone. Too quiet? Judged. Talk too much? Judged. Try to talk to others but you fumble a lot? Judged. Welcome to the glorious human race in which you are judged for merely existing.

[Flutterstep 47,069]

It’s definitely looked down on. You’ll miss out on so many opportunities being the silent type and judged indefinitely. That’s the real world. 

[Splashee 28,563]

On 3/11/2013 at 8:21 PM, Gone Airbourne said:

But honestly do you think in our society that being introverted/quiet is looked down upon?

In Sweden, it is normal. But in the U.S., absolutely.

 

Swedish people don't interact with strangers, only say "hi" and nothing else, basically. So when everyone is doing it, it is not looked down upon.

[ExplosionMare 18,062]

4 hours ago, Super Splashee said:

In Sweden, it is normal. But in the U.S., absolutely.

 

Swedish people don't interact with strangers, only say "hi" and nothing else, basically. So when everyone is doing it, it is not looked down upon.

I’m jealous. Being silent was what got me bullied in middle school.

[Splashee 28,563]

10 minutes ago, ExplosionMare said:

I’m jealous. Being silent was what got me bullied in middle school.

Just looking the wrong way got me bullied. The qualifications for being bullied are sadly far and wide.