Is it possible to tell if somebody is a virgin just by looking at them?

[jackleapp81 456]

I work at a hardware store, and they recently hired a new coworker (we'll call him Brad).

 

One day, I'm eating my lunch in the break room when Brad walks in.

"Hi Brad!" I say politely.

Brad stares at me for a second, and then begins to shift his eyes across my body, as if he's inspecting me. A smile creeps across his face.

 

"You're a virgin, aren't you?" he says plainly.

"...what kind of a question is that?" I reply.

"You don't have to be embarrassed." he says, still grinning from ear to ear.

"Even if I was, how could you even tell?" I replied, shifting uncomfortably in my chair.

 

"Eh...you just have a way about you." he says. "I can almost guarantee you that Ryan is virgin, too."

 

"You barely even know Ryan."

 

"I know enough." Brad says decisively. "I know that he doesn't make eye contact when he talks to me."

 

"So?"

 

"So, he's f*cking whipped. He's got absolutely no game. Trust me, I know the type. Goes home, eats dinner, watches TV, goes to bed. Nothing goin' on in his pants. Unless..." Brad motions towards his left hand, wiggling his fingers back and forth. "Unless little lefty here is putting out."

 

"Whatever." I reply. At this point, I'm feeling ridiculously self-conscious. I mean, everybody masturbates...not just me and Ryan. I'm normal, right? There's nothing wrong with me. I make eye contact with people (mostly). I've had a couple girlfriends. Never really got sexual ever, but---

 

"You don't believe me, do you?" he says, still grinning.

"Trust me, once you get a little pussy...you'll know what I'm talking about."

 

Brad winks at me, then leaves the break room.

 

My head is spinning. I know that most of you are thinking that Brad is just a gross pervert who's trying to get under my skin, but...is it true that some men are able to identify whether somebody has had sex or not? Is he taking a wild guess, or did he prematurely come to that conclusion based on how friendly I was to him? Does he perceive friendliness as a sign of weakness? Is this some sort of "wolf pack" male initiation ritual that I'm unaware of? Do guys regularly size each other up by suggesting that one of them gets less sex than the other? I've never had somebody talk to me that way, not even in school.

Edited December 30, 2015 by jackleapp81

[Chip Circuit 1,842]

That's rather creepy if you ask me, I've never seen a guy who calls out stuff like that. Even if he can tell it's none of his business and he can step off.

 

I will admit one might be able to tell when one is by the way they may view their prefer gender of sexual partner.

 

If you are a virgin I say more power to ya, it's not something you should squander let alone be embarassed about. Not saying openly admit it because yes there are the jerks who judge someone's self worth on how much they get laid which is deplorable.

 

Unfortunately I can't come up with a way to deal with that person in a way where they will leave you alone on the topic and drop it with out giving them the satisfaction of finding out.

 

If you want to talk more feel free to send a pm.

[Silver Stream. 708]

I'm surprised you were able to quote that conversation word from word?

 

 

Anyway.....mm.... no. You cannot simply look at a person and do a cliche "I got you figured out" thing. How you dress has nothing to do with it, neither does your body language or anything.

 

Yes...you CAN TAKE A GOOD GUESS BASED OFF THESE THINGS. And sometimes people, experienced or inexperienced, can guess right because certain behavior/looks will fall in stereotypes.

 

But like all stereotypes, it's not 100% accurate. The Brad guy was just taking an educated guess but from your oddly specifically quoted conversation, it's possible he guessed.more from an overblown ego than from thorough observation.

 

How I usually guess whether a person is a virgin or not is usually by conversation. If you're experienced, you can easily weed out a virgin based on what they brag about but half of what they say is mostly myths on how sex SHOULD BE.

 

For example: If you're an experienced female, and you're talking to a group of girls. You know first time experience is different for many girls. But one thing will always remain common: your first time is not your WILDEST time. Anyway, one girl rambles about her first time being SUPER WILD AND AMAZING AND EROTIC.....you automatically get this feeling that tells you it's all bullshit. Its like a sixth sense thing. HOWEVER, as I.said.....it's never 100% accurate. So you could be wrong.

 

 

The point is, it's possible people will take educated guesses based off observation and what they know or don't know...stereotypes being a factor as well especially with "virgins". But it's never accurate...and some people will simply bullshit guesses to seem knowledgable when they really aren't. People will generalize....even virgins and nonvirgins. I'm ashamed to say there are no limits.

 

 

Now I can't say much on a guy's perspective....but I'm guessing it's one in the same. They can throw educated guesses, but sometimes they can be wrong. From a guy friend I know, he thinks any guy who doesn't walk with confidence or can sex talk in public is a virgin. But that isn't true to all guys.....as the saying goes: "Shy in the streets, but a freak in the sheets"

Edited December 30, 2015 by Silver Stream.

[Not_active 732]

Lol, Brad is exactly like a character in a movie I saw recently. But no, you can't see whether someone is a virgin or not, but some may make assumptions based on people's characteristics. Generalizing, with other words.

Edited December 30, 2015 by Ferg

[Flutter's lover <3 8,206]

I've worked in all male workplaces and all female workplaces before and never come across this. I've had convo's with parties from either workplace,and one topic leads to another....you'd be surprised at who's a virgin and who isn't. But to outright tell that someone is a virgin based on looks and body language? I'm highly doubting that. Besides, that's a bit of an invasive question to begin with. 

Edited December 30, 2015 by Flutter Baby <3

[ARagY 1,152]

No, how could that ever be scientifically possible? You cannot possibly know if someone has had sexual intercourse simply by looking at them. That would imply you're psychic. 

[jackleapp81 456]

I'm surprised you were able to quote that conversation word from word?

 

That was a rough approximation of the conversation. I tried to spice it up with imagery and substance so that people could get a clearer idea of what Brad is like, and how he approached me, but no, this isn't an exact word-for-word breakdown of the conversation, and more of a general approximation of what it was.

 

 

 

The point is, it's possible people will take educated guesses based off observation and what they know or don't know...stereotypes being a factor as we'll especially with "virgins". But it's never accurate...and some people will simply bullshit guesses to seem knowledgable when they really aren't.

 

Good to know. In the back of my mind, I guess I am sort of paranoid that other guys or girls have a "sixth sense" when it comes to these things.

I've worked in all male workplaces and all female workplaces before and never come across this. I've had convo's with parties from either workplace,and one topic leads to another....you'd be surprised at who's a virgin and who isn't. But to outright tell that someone is a virgin based on looks and body language? I'm highly doubting that. Besides, that's a bit of an invasive question to begin with. 

Yeah, I definitely feel that way. I wish Brad had the common sense not to bring it up, but he's around my age, so maybe he thought it would be an appropriate subject? Or he could've been messing with me just to entertain himself, as much as that bothers me to admit.

Edited December 30, 2015 by jackleapp81

[PiratePony 8,486]

That's really weird, man. I know in some work environments you get ragged on for such matters, but that seemed really pushy and gross. Honestly, he'll probably keep ragging you about it unless you say it without a care in the world. Guys like that feed off the reaction, not what your personal activities actually are. And who cares what he thinks: is this guy's goal to be the official ladies man of Home Depot?

[Sunny Fox 5,952]

Seems to me like he took a guess based on what he knows about you and (pardon the term) got lucky. You can't tell with certainty if someone is a virgin or not, just like you can't tell with certainty what sexual orientation someone is. There are stereotypes, and sometimes they fit, sometimes they don't.

 

What's more, if he makes that guess often enough, he will tend to remember the times he got it right and forget all the times he got it wrong, a classic confirmation bias, so even if he thinks he has some kind of "virgindar", he really probably doesn't.

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

If I were in your position, your avatar's expression would fit my reaction perfectly.

[Karma Lightwing 245]

Well you can tell some stuff based on body language, but not exactly if someone is a virgin or not. but there are stuff like anxiety, insecurities, shyness and stuff like that that people can read. if you avoid eye contact or conversations then its easy to conclude you're a loner and that you also thus are a virgin since people who stick to themselves have a generally lower chance of getting into a relationship I guess.

Reading stuff like this comes easier to some people than others thought.

[1111 1,284]

Not really and considering you only need to have sex once to not be a virgin a no game loner like me can and I have. You can only assume they don't have sex much by looking at some one.

[Draxon 214]

That guy sounds like a jerk.  But no, you can't tell if someone is a virgin just by their appearance or mannerisms.  People usually don't change their behavior once they experience sex for the first time.  If they did, I would have noticed changes in many people I've known.  I'd like to add that if someone gets embarrassed when sex comes up in conversation, that doesn't mean they're a virgin, either.  Maybe they just don't like to talk about that sort of thing.

[Justin_Case001 4,915]

Of course not.  Telling something like that from looking or studying body language or what have you is impossible.

 

@@jackleapp81, If this conversation really happened as you say, (and I'm assuming it did), then you need to go to your boss and let him/her know that this "Brad" is sexually harassing employees.  This is grounds for immediate termination, in my opinion.  I don't care if you're both male, I don't care if he thinks he's being friendly, this is still sexual harassment, and you shouldn't have to deal with something like this at work.  Brad is a terrible person.  Avoid all contact with him.

 

Seems that the MLPF are more SWF than work.

 

[El Duderino 879]

Well, no you can't actually tell by looking at someone, but there are certain things that can point at the possibility of someone being a virgin, but you still never know. Even with those clues, you shouldn't assume anyone is a virgin, or at least don't talk to them about it unless you know they are willing to. That is a private thing, and openly telling someone that you think they look like a virgin can really get under some peoples skin. Real douche move.

Edited December 30, 2015 by El Duderino

[PiratePony 8,486]

Seems that the MLPF are more SWF than work.

 

What's SWF mean?

Also, you could go to the boss and argue sexual harassment. But a super douchey guy at a hardware store - do you really go so far to get him fired and have him learn his lesson or just hope he matures?

[LeonShi500 155]

Lol, this thread made me laugh.

Yes, it's possible, but highly unlikely. Some people have really good intuition (a good chunk of these people are my cousins.   ) and are able to read people's eyes and facial expressions so well that they can detect all kinds of qualities of a person. It's easy for certain individuals to detect innocence, anxiety, cowardliness, naivety and other characteristics, and they determine the type of person you are from that. I'm not saying that you have any of these characteristics, but your friendly greeting may have influenced his opinion about you. I've met several people who were like this, and they were able to see clearly through nearly anyone, but the problem with judging people based on this intuition is that some people's outer appearances can be a completely opposite representation of the type of person they really are.

 

Here's kind of a funny example of what I'm talking about. Ever watched the cartoon "Undergrads"? The main character of the show is a perfect example of someone who's easily readable.

 

At one part of the cartoon, he and his friends were talking about sex. It was easy for me to tell the guy was a virgin. A few minutes later, lo and behold, it's revealed that he is.

 

Putting all of that aside, the fact that the very first conversation you had with him involved virginity should set off some alarm bells about his character. No, I'm not saying that he's a creep and that you should completely avoid him based on that one conversation alone, but don't forget about it. I'm guessing that he's probably just a harmless douchebag. He could even be a pretender. People who go off on discussions about these types of things for no reason, let alone for an introduction to someone, could just be full of BS. Try to tell for yourself if he's just messing with you for some laughs.

 

If he goes on anymore about his personal life, you'll probably find out that he lifts everyday also. XD

 

What's SWF mean?

Also, you could go to the boss and argue sexual harassment. But a super douchey guy at a hardware store - do you really go so far to get him fired and have him learn his lesson or just hope he matures?

Safe

For

Work

Edited December 30, 2015 by LeonShi500

[Biggybrony 244]

There might be some clues towards an educated guess but no, it's not possible to tell. In women people used to think you could prove it by examining the hymen in the vagina for stretching/tears but it's not necessarily true.

[Detritus 258]

Nope, there's no way anyone can tell short of a lie detector test, and even those can be inaccurate.

 

When you mentioned the name "Brad", I immediately thought of Flash Sentry, and that made it creepier.

[Malinter 3,064]

By just looking, no. Anyone who says otherwise is a brain dead moron.

 

Some people just aren't comforable talking about sex, even if they have done the deed once or twice. It may have been an embaressing experience so would avoid talking about or even lie, prefering to being critcized as a virgin over being a flop in bed.

 

There might be some clues towards an educated guess but no, it's not possible to tell. In women people used to think you could prove it by examining the hymen in the vagina for stretching/tears but it's not necessarily true.

 

If a young woman is very active, plays alot of sports for example, the hymen will naturally tear on its own. Ofc you have these idiots having surgery to repair it to be "born again" virgins... which is just daft.

[simba86 1,541]

sounds to me like he is a self righteous jerk that likes to fancy himself better than everyone else, he probably calls everyone a virgin and then soaks it up when he is right, he probably won't last long at the job

Edited December 30, 2015 by simba86

[Frostgage 7,978]

This guy sounds like a f***ing psycho

[Mr F 1,522]

That guy sounds like one creepy son of a horse.

 

It is possible to guess, but not tell accurately.

You would be surprised about who is a virgin or not.

The same goes for a lot of things, especially when it comes habits like smoking and alcohol consumtion.

Edited December 30, 2015 by Mr. Fluffles

[Megalomaniac 100]

Only if they wear a fedora. XD

 

JK

[Lexamena 391]

Brad sounds like a creepy pervert. This was at work? The next time he opens his mouth about anything of that nature, I would let him know up front that I was reporting his behavior to his supervisor and to human resources.