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If I were a fly on the wall in your house, what would I see and hear?


TailsIsNotAlone

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I'd better start by answering my own question. If you were a fly on the wall in my apartment, you would be the most disturbed fly in the world. I'm a single guy living alone, which means I clean up the place only if something is blocking my path to the TV, computer or fridge. I also talk to myself constantly. Monologues, sarcasm, rants, compliments. Just to get out all the words and feelings I can't trust others with. You would also see me surfing MLP Forums frequently, smiling a lot. Or surfing FIMfiction occasionally, shouting "that doesn't happen on the show, goddamn it!"

 

So how about you? :D

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I would here nothing, because that's all that ever really happens in my house. I guess you'd occasionally hear the sound of typing, but other than that, just the TV. :(

I guess I'd see me about to kill myself with a fly swatter.

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You'd hear my music, my typing. That's probably it. Maybe the occasional drunk guy shuffling in the street outside if it's an interesting day. You'd probably see nothing interesting, just my bed. My room is fairly clean, actually. And it smells like vanilla.

 

I have a few Halo posters on the wall of my room. I have two shelves adjacent from eachother to. The kitchen is clean too, I'm kind of a neat freak sometimes.

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If you stayed out of the room upstairs and to the left, you'd see a very normal house. A woman reading a book on the couch, a man working hard in his office, and a teenage guy working on his airsoft guns. However, if you take the plunge into the lair of the youngest in the family, however, you'd be quite shocked, to say the least. You would see a disturbing mess, with candy wrappers and potato chip bags littering the floor, clothes strewn about, and a giant soda can pyramid. You'll see an odd-looking teenager sitting at a dirty desk. None of his clothes match, his hair looks like it was styled by a crow, his arms covered in scars and strange bracelets. You'll hear him conversing with himself, like Smeagol and Gollum. You'll see his fingers deftly typing as he browses YouTube or MLPForums. It's at this point you should run away, because if he sees a fly, he'll attack you with an axe until he's split you in half.

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You would hear the sound your angels of the death... Mwuhahahahah...

 

...hm... Honestly, it depends on when you would be there. My room's a dark mess... I suppose you wouldn't think much of it, though. It's not that bad. It's just the things I do in there.

 

Last night I slept in the closet because I was so bored.

 

That kind of stuff. So don't come over to my house.

 

By the way, if the fly is near a wall or on a wall, then I punch the fly into the wall...with my fist. Otherwise I attempt to grasp them in mid-air and the slam them against a wall. I have unique killing methods, and both make me feel like some super-strong-fighting-guy.

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You wouldn't hear much in my room, unless I'm playing on my Playstation 3 which is hooked up to a 5.1 surround sound system, at which point you'd never be able to hear anything again. :P But most of the time all you'd hear would be typing, or me playing my 5 string bass guitar. As for what you'd see, it'd be me sat up in my motorized bed (I literally cannot get out of bed without lifting the back rest part up) either on my laptop or playing on my random collection of video games consoles (Game Boy, Pokemon edition Game Boy Colour, DS Lite, PS, PS2, PS3, PSP, N64). You'd see and smell the vanilla scented candles I always have lit, and if you bug me too much by flying at my laptop screen, I will try to kill you (and very likely injure myself) with my sword. Or my crutch if my sword is out of reach. 

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You would probably see me on my computer ALOT, seriously I am either here on the forums, youtube, deviantart, FIMfiction, or typing either this book I am writing or one of the various fanfic ideas I have. And you might also see me look at some certain rule 34 ish stuff on same said computer. On Saturdays you will see me watching my morning cartoons or taping them if I have to work one of my 7AM shifts before getting ready for work.

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At the moment? You'd see an incredibly messy apartment with a nerd sitting in front of a TV playing MarioParty 7 for GameCube and on a MLP forum on the computer next to his TV. Also he needs to go do his laundry and eat.

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Most likely a thwack. Then you would most likely be dead.

 

Probably nothing actually. I use headphones and am the only one home. :P

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You'd see a towel/shirt whip at you and if you're still alive then my bare hand would be the last thing you'll ever hear. You won't see it though because im a ghost. If I don't notice you you'd see a 14 year old with an afro, glasses, a dirty sweatshirt and flannel sweat pants on a computer bobbing his head dangerously fast while listening to a really quiet slow mlp song on some headphones. Not much else, except for a couple of spiked plastic knuckles hanging around.

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You'd see a fat ugly teenager with stupid hair and his significantly less fat and ugly teenage older brother that also has stupid hair, and you'd hear either the sound of video games or punk rock.

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In all honesty, if you were in MY room, you would more than most likely see an unnavigatable mess of clothes, toys, stuffed animals, and a couple of pillows all over the floor (I am also needing to dust my room since I haven't done so in a while)

 

You might also see me on my phone browsing the MLPForums (like I am doing right now in the bathroom :P ) or on some other site like Derpibooru looking up... stuff... yeah

 

Now if I were to see you, depending on my mood I may either A. watch you curiously until I get bored and either 1) Let you live or 2) Try to squash you mercilessly... or B. I would just 1) take you outside or 2) kill you on the spot OR 3) leave you be because I'm too lazy to do anything...

 

So yeah...

That's about it in a nutshell

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You would see a clean cut teenager leaning back on his chair, with his crappy five dollar headphones on, listening to ACDC, The Bee Gees, or Foghat. He would either be playing Team Fortress 2, various Elder Scrolls games, or on youtube checking his subscriptions, or going on MLP forums and checking Equestria Daily.

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You would see your life flash before your eyes as the swatter descends upon you as a fox slays its rabbit.

Actually you would see the king of procrastination on his computer :P 

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Hm... I wonder... I'm gonna convert this to the scale of my room because I live in a very big house and I hardly ever spend any actual time outside my own room -_-

First of all you'd see a very messy small room, with LOTS of stuff on the floor. Barely able to walk on it. I guess what you'd hear depends on the time you're in the room. If I'm alone in the house, you'll probably hear me singing along to pony music, usually very VERY loud, (just realized that's actually the only music i listen to nowadays -.-) or you'd hear me cursing and sighing while attempting to find inspiration for my fanfics. If there were others in the house you'd probably hear lots of shouting in Finnish, most of it directed towards me, trying to get me clean up the place. I'd be quite all right if you just stayed on the wall BUT DARE YOU MAKE ONE FLAP OF THOSE BUZZING WINGS OF YOURS AND EVEN CELESTIA CAN'T SAVE YOU FROM MY WRATH! I hate flies. Especially in the night.

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If you walked into my house on any given evening/weekend, you'd probably see my wife and me in the living room.  We'd probably be watching the news, ridiculing the world in the style of Waldorf and Statler:

 

 

If not that, we'd be in the kitchen brewing beer, or she'd be working in the garden, or I'd be in my music studio.

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Well, depends in where you were in my house, were you foolish enough to assume that I would be in my bedroom you sir are poorly mistaken, head downstairs and you'll find a living room in which two people sit and whatch TV while a third sits on his MacBook with crap music on turned up way too loud. Continue on through to the dining room and you'll find a figure sat in front of a screen, frantically moving his hands to get more kills, now and then he will speak, asking how long until food is presented to him or speaking into a microphone commenting on how shit a match was just played. Get closer and you'll hear the mutterings of odd phrases such as 'camper' or 'die noob'

 

'tis a strange place to be indeed.

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Hm, nothing really that speical, All you'd hear or see is me watching videos, maybe an ocational laugh or smile or something, and you'd have me browsing the forums constantly, or playing skyrim or something when I'm not :P.

 

Otherwise It would just be homework ocationally, and thats about it.

 

Oh and theres always the ocations where I'll pull up a lyrics video of a song on youtube and sing it. :P. But thats only later at night when I assume nobodys up or something to say anything to me :).

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Sound wise there would always be the conatsant sound of water running, aquarium bubblers, filters, and the fish tanks just being noisy. Along with the humidifiers and air cleaner thingies.

 

Other then that you may hear me typing, black ops, TV, my music, or someone talking, or PONIES :P:D

 

Other then random fish tanks and cats the house looks "normal", then you hit my room and its filled with little cat figurines on one side. My tarantulas, beetles, scorpions, and all other manner of pets and fish tanks. Then one corner has a bunch of artificial plant lighting and some exotic and rare succulent plants and then some orchids and air plants.

 

Then a few computers and a few netbooks and a few laptops :)

 

All along with most of the room being dominated by MLP stuff everywhere. Mostly the blind bag things.

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You'd see me sitting on my bed staring at the strangely large inflatable fish I have hanging on the wall.  Pandora through my Roku XS and a box of Magic the Gathering cards strewn across my desk, Thundermaw Hellkit sitting nicely in his sleeve, being the only card I actually see monetary value in.  Turn right and you'd see a Yamaha NPL-11 keyboard with Mad World set nicely on the piano in the form of sheet music.  And just before you turn right to leave, a large memory foam pillow in a dinosaur pillowcase would fly at great speeds and smash you on the wall :3

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if I'm in my house right now, you would die in an instant. I sprayed lots of insecticide in my house. :o

 

You would see a lot of weird boxes and various trinkets piled together in a chaotic mess. While I'm not a fan of loud music, you will hear lots of crickets and geckos mucking around, with occasional screaming from the neighborhood. There are at least five flypapers lying around at various corners, and two are prepared with a nice, sweet bait.

 

You will not leave this house alive.

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something horrible, so horrible, incredibly horrible... JERSEY SHORE

 

I can't find the TV remote, so I was forced to blind myself, to avoid any life affecting trauma :v

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