Is being the "silent type" looked down upon?

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

This is something I have always wondered because I have always been a quiet/shy person since I was younger. All throughout school I always had others think I was odd/weird for staying quiet for whatever reason. It got very very annoying having to hear from others is there something wrong with you? I just wonder if any of you have had to deal with similar situations as this throughout your life. There is nothing wrong with being quiet and enjoying solitude. I have always said why should have to change myself to be accepted by others?? 

 

But honestly do you think in our society that being introverted/quiet is looked down upon?  

Edited March 12, 2013 by Artemis
fixed title

[~Master~ Button Mash 2,307]

I don't think so. I'm also the silent type, and I've noticed that it also often comes with a "6th sense" about people's emotions. In fact, I think sometimes that 6th sense works too well and you end up getting false vibes from people. I know  I do. Maybe it's just something we perceive.

 

Just my 2 bits.

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

@@AtomicBassCannon, 

I suppose not but I guess some people may not like it. I have had others laugh or thought I was weird for being "too quiet". I see what your saying though good points in what you said.

[Sunbro 4 Lyfe 939]

Oh it is in my school. Well, kinda. By being silent that means I'm not good in groups, which means i don't help much. And all the people in my classes pick on me every now and then but I'm just like  <_<  and don't care.

unless i'm at a computer screen i which case i'm all like   

Edited March 11, 2013 by darklord60

[Vexxy 134]

I don't think anybody cares outside of school / college, but yeah, in schools it is. I don't really talk at school unless I'm talked to, so even though we're over halfway through the yeah, people always say "Oh, I thought you were a mute", or "Are you new? I've never seen you before." and I've been in this school for 3 years.

But yeah, the people that do know of me give me hell because they know I won't do anything about it, and they think it's weird that I'm quiet. While being an introvert probably isn't the main cause of them annoying me, it is a big part of it. Or at least, part of why they get away with it. I've now realized that half of what I've written makes no sense or isn't relevant, sorry... ^-^;

 

Edit: Just read darklord60's post, that's the gist of mine

Edited March 11, 2013 by Vexxy

[Leafeon 2,702]

Yes, it is. Simply because you are expected to be social if you're upper class, and people believe it is only the upper class that succeed in life.

[Gone Airbourne 21,977]

@,

 Yes the best thing is not too mind those others any attention and just go about your business. Go about your own thing and ignore what others think yep. 

 

. I don't really talk at school unless I'm talked to

 

Pretty much how I was in school as well. 

@, 

I find it funny at some other's belief in what the think as "success". To me success is simply being happy in life and enjoy day to day. I think once you have that, there is your success .

[Celtore 2,770]

I can't speak for society, but I don't mind quiet people at all. I am also a quiet person in friendly discussions and I have ocassionally had people question my silence. Nobody has questioned it since high school though and my close friends know that I'm actively listening and I will join in when I feel like it.

 

I don't think I was ever looked down on, I still had fun with my friends. I just had certain days where I didn't want to associate with anyone and just relax.

Edited March 11, 2013 by Celtore

[Limey 524]

Unfortunately, I think it is. At school, i'm very quiet and don't really talk much because I had bad experiences in the first year. It altered the way I am, making me much quieter and shyer. I can't help but wonder if I'd have a lot more freinds and be more popular now if that had never happened. But meh, I have no regrets. I probably would have ended up a judgmental asshole just like the rest of them.

[Leatherbehlt 465]

I think I would be more popular at my school if I was silent growing up. I was annoying as HELL when I was an elementary and early middle schooler, so don't be ashamed of knowing how to stay quiet. Though it is nice to be able to say something once in a while.

[Zacharias 191]

Yes, I'm the one who's said to be stupid for not wanting to talk at school, for not wanting to get involved with the nasty things others do, for not liking what they do, for not sharing a single interest with them. They are impossible to talk to anyway, since they look at you like an underling and they start making weird noises and fake laughs. So I don't even bother. Nobody really knows and understands me, but how could I expect that to be possible, when sometimes even I can't understand myself?

[Fhaolan 4,483]

Okay, this is from a 40+ year old here, so understand that it's got nothing to do with school.

 

Yes, being silent is looked down upon. However if you're the kind of person who's non-verbal, but who expresses themselves through action, be it creative or otherwise, as long as that action can be seen by other people, that counts as not being silent.

 

When you get into the world of employement, you have to learn how to market yourself. Many businesses (including IT companies), care more about what you *will* do for them, rather than what you *have* done for them. What's done is past, and the mindset is very much 'What have you done for me lately?', meaning in the last five minutes. If you can't prove that they will gain something from continuing to employ you, you'll be out on your ear. If you made them millions of dollars last year, that's irrellevant unless you can make them millions *next* year. And letting them know that is all marketing, and not being 'silent'.

[~Starlight~ 764]

I am not the silent type, but I be-friend many so I know the inner them. When people do not listen or take on board what they have to I normally get annoyed by how people are not considerate. Just because they are quiet does not mean they have a good heart. 

[GrimCW 658]

Depends in my experience, i've actually toyed with it a bit ( I won't lie i'm an aspie so i take logic serious and over analyze EVERYTHING to the point of excess.. Also often seen as a "child in an adults body"... i actually find that more a compliment than an insult though, as it just means i know how to have FUN rather than be a drag all day.)  and tried out different things.

 

In most situations (for guys anywho) being the silent/withdrawn person will often get you marred as being a possibly dangerous individual, or an easy target.

While being an active and talkative person can take you anywhere between being a person people just want to gab with, to a possible drinking buddy (but skip on the drinking and your in for a world of back stabbing.. apparently its fairly taboo not to be at least a social drinker of beer specifically)

 

Glasses also seem to have some affect.

When i was in the Navy i wore my glasses (not my BC ones mind you ) and was oft looked upon as a weak and worthless individual thats good for computer repair, but if i popped in my contacts i was suddenly often respected and listened too, given more responsibility, and just looked at in a finer light.

Came in handy when i was supervisor during our LPO's leave times tbh.

 

Nerdy looking or hyper intelligent also often leads to problems, such as a kid in my command, who was VERY nerdy and fairly intelligent, but often played a LOT of games. They accused him of not showering/cleaning when he was actually very set on his cleaning routine. Even i got that, but my problem was they didn't see me enter the showers in our area because i took a detour and went to supplies showers (they had hot AND cold water   )

 

Society is often VERY set in its stereotypes and while many hold true, most are taken to literal by observers moreso than the affected individuals.

The light in which people view each other is very obscured based on simple bogus features such as clothing style, jewelry, skin color/race, and personal habits that may not be intentional. Often you'll find people judge a person simply over one of these and never even get to know that person at all :/

The only solid cause thing i've found, thats also still not always 100%, is locale (city, town, village, suburbs etc..) in the persons upbringing.  The way, and place, a person lived growing up is def the one thing that affects their personality outright.

Not to say all living in a suburb are gangsters, or all country folk are rednecks. Just that certain traits can become clear based almost entirely on where they lived the majority of their life.

Country people seem a little more lax while city people are a bit more tense for one.

 

Overall though the affects vary based on region and lifestyle (Having been military i got to toy with people from many regions and upbringings) and while MOSTLY true in MY experience (don't take it as an end all sort of thing ever) there are exceptions.

Edited March 11, 2013 by GrimCW

[Zygen 6,066]

Well I would say its really no question that its looked down upon, or atleast conceived as a problem in the majority of society.

 

I guess because most people who are quiet are shy and people just think of it as a problem since people tend to want to overcome shyness, so the fact that most people perceive being quiet or shy or both as a problem makes it so they think making you be more social and outspoken means they helped you conquer it.

 

Thats not always true though, some people are just quieter, and would rather not speak as much. Some people may be shy and may just not really plan to overcome it. Nothings really wrong with being quiet, I mean I think if you don't have a reason to speak you don't have to, besides most quiet people know when to talk and when not to, which is a good thing, while a good majority of outspoken people don't know when to be quiet.

 

So yeah its more looked down upon to be quiet, but I guess in a way the people looking down on it are just wondering if somethings wrong as to why you aren't speaking, what they don't realize is not everyone is extremely talkative per say in every situation, some people just listen or only speak when its necessary, and some are just less talkative overall, sure some do have a fear of actually talking to people in some cases, which I guess could be considered more of a problem, but being quiet in itself isn't really a problem in my eyes.

 

So i can see the somewhat justification to some degree as why people tend to think of it as a problem, but it isn't really. I'm shy and quiet to, but I do for the most part know when not to talk and when to talk, and alot of times I'd just rather not talk much, sometimes I just like to be alone with my thoughts, of course I don't want total isolation because eventually i'll go mad from that, but having some alone time can be healthy, especially with all the stress of the world.

 

So there isn't anything wrong with being quiet really. As long as you can speak if required or necessary.

[Scootalove 10,689]

Well since in society, the quiet ones are looked down upon and people think that they won't succeed in life. Sure, I might be quiet on the outside but, on the inside I'm more of a classy upper class man sometimes.

[Sorte95 46]

Where I come from, it feels like it sometimes, but they also look somewhat down on people who can't be silent even if you whack them in the head. I got this guy in my math class who always have to talk and answer everything. If someone else answers, then he comments it afterwards. So annoying <_< . I really didn't wish people thought that way though, I know many cool guys who is shy, and I think it's unfair that others look down on them.

It's not really something that bothers me though. I like talking with others, but I can be quiet if I want to be quiet. I also have a job that doesn't allow me to be quiet because it wouldn't make any sense if I didn't speak to others.

[Retro*Derpy 3,182]

Hmm, I can see how being a "silent type" can be looked down upon, but from my area over 3/4th of the people are non-interactive and want to be left alone, so it is pretty normal here. Sooo it really depends on what the society is like in your area.

[Champion RD92 8,658]

I'm really quiet and pretty shy except for when I'm talking to my friends. Although even with my friends I'm not usually super talkative. People sometimes think I'm like mad or something because I don't really smile much and I'm not outgoing and friendly to people I don't know.

[Betez 1,734]

Should it be? No. Is it? Yes. Our society I feel makes people think that quiet people are antisocial or Autistic. this of course is not necessarily the case at all. It doesn't matter if one's quiet or not.

[Inactive01 5,299]

My crush was a shy girl. Too bad she didn't like me back. She's still a wonderful girl nonetheless. She just doesn't care much about being friends with guys that's all, attesting to her quieter nature. That being said, I'm still very honoured that she sees me as a really nice friend; she's got many acquaintances but few friends. Personally, the fact that few (maybe none even) guys have been friends with her just shows how the world doesn't really care much for shyer people. It's really sad. They have their own ways to express themselves and we don't even give them a chance.  

Edited March 11, 2013 by Derpity Derp

[Jinx 2,292]

I've been quiet all of my life, it's just my nature. As far as being looked down up, I've never once encountered being looked down upon because I didn't talk much. In large social conversations, I find it hard to get a word in. There's so many things that hold people back from expressing themselves, whether it's their shyness, a social disorder, or just a fear of rejection or being judged.

[Luna's Husbando 61]

Introversion does seem to have kind of a stigma attached to it, at least here in Murrika. The problem seems to be that since most people are extroverted and like being the center of attention they assume that that's how everyone should be. I'm more of the quiet type myself and a lot of people, especially my parents, seem to see this as a negative thing. 

 

In my French III class from last year, the teacher insisted on making class participation part of our grade. She expected everybody to be talkative and active in class and if they weren't, they'd get a low participation grade (luckily she never went through with this). A debate proceeded where some students pointed out that people shouldn't be penalized for being quiet and she still insisted that being talkative and active was the only option. Still, it was nice to see that some other students, who were more outgoing, saw that being quiet isn't bad. 

[Virulence 254]

I'm a very quiet person. Everyday in class I always listen to my ipod while doing my work. Being quiet is alright I guess. Whenever I talk in class people just keep on staring at me and it gets really nerve racking.

[Vaportwo 3]

I am a silent type of sorts. I was a weird kid. When I was in Preschool I had friends right and left, always going on "play dates" and such. But boy, something in that Elementary school of mine changed me. I don't know what, but I became almost antisocial. Now I do have a few friends, but I'm still shy and withdrawn. Meh, but that;s just me. Anyway my school was weird. I was never really frowned upon or bullied. People just acted like I wasn't there. Even the jerks became my friends(of sorts), once I became more social.

 

My area must be infected by some weird toxin or someting :T