Fear of failure.

[碇 シンジン 27,427]

I have fear of failure. If I don't think I have the correct answer to a question I just don't answer it because I fear that other people will judge me based on my choice. Actually at school I don't answer anymore at all, because of that.

 

 That issue has gotten really deep into me. I don't express my opinions anymore or express any emotions. I just do everything like neutral so no one can judge me based on my reactions.

 

I also got that feeling that I have failed if my work or something that I've done goes unnoticed or if I ask something and no one answers. That feeling doesn't go away easily I sometimes fight with those feelings many days and they still bother me.

 

But if someone notices my work I feel that I have succeeded and feel really happy.

 

I think the reason behind this issue is education system. When I was young I was laughed when I answered wrong at school, but I didn't think that was funny. I got really depressed because of that and I think that was 10 years ago and since then the issue has only grown bigger.

 

These forums have helped me alot with this issue and I want to thank you all because of that.

 

I didn't post this in life advice section, because I don't need advice with this. I'm already overcoming this issue.

 

Feel free to post your own experiences or feelings about Fear of failure.

[Wind Chaser 4,767]

I had this too. I used to define it with the Mercedes-Benz slogan "The Best or Nothing". I either try my best on schoolwork, or I don't try at all.

 

Despite fear of failure being a good motivator, it also causes unneeded stress. Instead of learning from your mistakes, you'd be more likely to hide them. It's very emotionally distressing.

 

I'm trying to learn how to use only the motivation part of this.

[CheeryFox 23,811]

No. 

 

And should I fail. I'll pick my a** back up and do it again. Even if the end result is failure.

 

Failure is never an option, regardless of the outcome. Call it as you wish, because I don't care. 

 

[Haruhi-chan 486]

I don't think I've ever had a fear of failure before. I just never really thought about it much, so I guess it's not something that really bothers me any. I am a huge perfectionist at times though.

[Visual Spectrum 1,932]

I have more of a fear of being judged rather than failing. I live in a small town where if you mess up, everyone will know. I am afraid to do a lot of things because people will laugh at me. I know I need to toughen up and not let it get to me, but I'm just a wuss. 

[Invincible 2,090]

Do i have a fear of failure? Absolutely.

 

But i fear inaction even more. It's better to fail because you made a wrong decision than to fail because you made no choice at all - you learn from your mistakes and build up on them. It's in essence, being human.

[Samurai Equine 46,493]

Oh yes, I do have a fear of failure. Not just failing others, but failing myself.

 

But I don't let that stop me. There is a big, beautiful world out there waiting for all of us with fantasy and wonder around every every corner! We can't just let it pass us by. Nothing is truly over until we give up. And even if we fail, as long as we're alive, we can try again.

 

And maybe it's not just failure we fear. Maybe we fear how others will see us or treat us because of our failures. But no one is perfect. Not us, not the people who dare to judge us. Instead of judging others, we should accept the fact that we are all unique and quirky in our own ways. That's not something we should be punished for, it's something we should encourage. There is nothing wrong with being ourselves, and there should never be anything wrong with that.

[BitterBubblegum 75]

depends on what kind of failure.

If it's something I can't undo than shi-

 

I'm extremely shy in real life so I get embarrassed as hell if it's in public.  

[Dashie23 103]

I have fear of failure, because my parents bulit me up to be great, and if I don't fufill their expectations, I feel shame. That lead to a fear of failure. I'm more afraid of the animatronics from Five Nights at Freddy's, tho

[Frostgage 7,972]

Yes, and this is definitely one of my least favorite traits. Sometimes it can actually be a good thing, but usually it's not. I think the best way to overcome it is just to tell yourself not to care what other people think.

[Lunatic Cake 1,618]

Oh well, I can't really say I'm afraid of failures. At least not anymore. Lately my life has been nothing but failures all over the place. It gets me down quite often, however I always try to shrug it off by laughing at it what results in awkward situations at times. Oh well, silly me I guess. Sometimes we need to deal with failures, but fearing them is good in order to prevent them. Nobody's perfect. (Unless you talk about me being the "Perfect Failure" )

[M'aiq the Liar 5,804]

I think we can all say we are afraid of failure. Afraid of the loss, the massive restart one may be forced to take once they do fail.

I used to fear failure alot, especially during my time in the military. Failure in that environment could be the difference between life and death. But after learning that all I could do was give my best, and just accept what came from that, I feared failure alot less.

[ghostfacekiller39 23,860]

I am the very definition of the word perfectionist. Everything I do has to be of the highest quality or I'm prone to get frustrated - which is why I suck at things like drawing. Not patient enough to handle failure.

 

I guess that counts as a fear of failure.

[Felix 1,363]

Not really. I mean I've never thought about it before honestly. I've been doing very well in life so far so the idea has never really crossed me. I guess I sometimes get afraid that I won't pass school but I've been pressed pretty hard before that I am very intelligent and a hard worker. I would literally have to try to fail if it were to happen as my mother would say.

[Justin_Case001 4,860]

I definitely have a fear of failure to a certain extent.  I know I worry too much about being judged and looking foolish in the eyes of others.  I've been doing pretty good to overcome that, like you, OP.  I try to remind myself that for every single success that there has ever been on this planet, there have been many more failures.  For every single thing done well, whether it's a great acting performance, a great athletic performance, a well made product, great artwork, a delicious food dish, a great movie, book, game...for absolutely anything that was ever done well, there were many more failed attempts to get there.  Which is why none of us should worry about failing.  No one can ever learn to do something well without failing at first.  It's not really failing, just learning.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3vlzKaH4mpw#t=1m27s

[Zephyr Breeze aka po 57]

don't like to mess up in school especially when most people in the school already make fun of me

[SparklingSwirls 21,268]

Yeah, I do have a fear of failure; I hate being embarrased and I hate messing up in front of other people and thus being made fun of (what usually happens at my school). I usually keep to myself, since if I make a mistake people get upset. I wish it didn't have to be that way, but.. :/

[Dr. Frasier Crane 319]

I've suffered this nearly all my life.

If I ever got anything below a B on a test It used to haunt me constantly for weeks, and I'd keep telling myself that I wasn't good enough and was stupid. When trying to learn new things I have a tendency to give up if I'm not decent enough first time.

 

I also like you never answer questions in class, because I'm scared that if I get the answer wrong everyone will think I'm stupid too. I think I get it from being friends with a group of very intelligent people so there's always that competition/pressure of matching getting the highest grades possible to match, or otherwise beat my friends.

[GammaDove 428]

I do, but I absorb the failure and unleash it with my dark powers.

[DubWolf 16,702]

I currently have a fear of failure on radar... It's always on radar. I'm an engineering major, and often times I feel like I struggle a bit too much with the material, even though I left high school with strong math and science skills, so I don't see myself as fitting in with the stereotype (and probably fact) that engineers have no problems with anything. I only partially want to be an engineer since my area works with airplanes, and I eventually want to be a pilot. This degree program requires strong interest into the degree, so if I can't get a diploma, or much harder, get a job with all the qualifications they always want (which I feel I lack) I'll be a big failure ....

[Dewdlz 938]

Unfortunately yes. Although I strive to be a perfectionist, one cannot be a perfectionist without always finding something wrong, always improving and nothing seems to satisfy.