Social Phobia (shyness)

[FireFox 82]

I love dance music. I have gone to quite a few "clubs" and always love the music but spend all my time in the corner of the bar watching people have fun. Alcohol is in the tags because it's the only drug that really helps social phobia. I've heard that MDMA works as well as alcohol but with less negative side effects. The use of MDMA in a clinical setting was mostly in the late '70s and early '80s. I have seen a few articles suggesting that MDMA might be considered as a viable therapy if it could get past the stigma of it being a "club drug". That being said I've never tried MDMA or any other illicit drug, so alcohol is the only thing that gets me out of my social phobia shell.

[FlareChaser0096 142]

Ever since I heard about "stranger danger" in elementary, I've been shy. To come out of my shell wasn't easy and it was a process, but I learned to stop caring so much about what others think. (within reason) I'd speak my mind when asked to, a bit reluctantly at first, and I found that more people had the same thoughts as me, and now they're my best friends. Try being silly sometimes. It's not easy, I know.I too would stand in the corner, too afraid to move. Alcohol is not the answer- you've got to rely on yourself.

If you need any more advice, just PM me.

Edited August 2, 2012 by FlareChaser0096

[FireFox 82]

I don't think I care what people think, but I guess somehow it bothers me or I wouldn't have a problem.  I don't think "stranger danger" was something that I worried about.  I don't think you are old enough to know the 1983 movie "Adam", but when I was little it showed quite a few times.  Never the less, I'm a 39 year old that has a good intellectual ability, but my social skills haven't improved since I was 13 give or take a year or two.  Somewhere close to my freshman year of high school.  In my freshman year I was in the Junior computer science class, and by my junior year I was doing independent study making my own curriculum.  I've had enough college level+ psychology classes to know my problem, where and why it started.  Unfortunately, no matter how much my intellect knows this phobia is irrational my mind won't get past it.  I've never had a PET or FMRI scan, but I don't think either of those would show any structural problems with my brain.  SSRI's, SNRI's, have had little to no effect.  My doctor hasn't suggested MAOI's.  I think maybe SNDRI's might be the solution, but there aren't any available yet.  Maybe the best thing for me is to talk with people going through the time where I went awry.  Freshman or sophomore in high school.

[AegisReflector 886]

I think I was very shy when I was in elementary/middle school, because my friends always associated me as being the bookworm who never came out of his room or something. I don't remember, I always try to talk to people if I have an interesting topic or something lol.

 

I have a cousin who has a major problem going out in public and I'm actually trying to help him out with that fear. He hates driving, taking the bus, even going into the store just to get something quick. I think it's good to have some sort of interaction with the outside world just because you need to have that social instinct inside you if you're gonna do simple things, like go to the post office, order something, go to the movies, etc.

 

With me, I only get shy around people who are complete assholes but it's the first time meeting them. I always hate when one of my friends introduces me to a complete stranger who just comes off as a straight douche. I barely talk under those circumstances.

[Fluffy Pinkie 417]

I'm really shy when meeting new ppl in the real world. I'll sometimes she ppl that sound like they like what i like but can never get the courage to speak to them  but I'm slowly trying to grow out of my shell and do what I want. I used to be so scared in high school of being myself because of stupid peer pressure but now I've started wearing my mlp t-shirts by themselves and not trying to care what other people think about them if anybody wants to message me feel free cause I know what it feels like to be scared of talking to people. 

[Colgate_Brushie 3]

I can also be very shy. My face goes red whenever someone I don't know talks to me or when I speak in front of crowds. Then they point out to me that my face is red, like I don't know.

[RippedOffMattress 314]

Somewhat yeah. Lately I've been finding myself talking to more people here and there, but I can still be a very shy and introverted, mostly if I'm at school, on the bus, or not anywhere near my friends. I've been slowly getting better at this though.

[MelancholicMemory 2,025]

I've always been pretty shy, especially when I was a kid. I was always the quiet kid. I get really nervous when talking to people or if I'm in a crowd. My dad has always tried to get me to be more sociable, but that just made everything worse. Now, though, I can manage to operate in society pretty well by detaching myself from the situation and presenting a more confident persona.

 

In addition to this, I'm also very introverted (in the psychological way) and asocial, so my social life isn't so great anyway. Here's a video which explains the difference between shyness and introversion and the problems which result from being introverted in an extravert's society.

 

Edited December 2, 2012 by MelancholicMemory

[Envy 6,162]

I don't know that I'd consider myself shy. The social problems I have are a fear of annoying others. I have lost lots of would-be great friendships because I have a personality that is commonly considered annoying. So now when I meet somebody new to talk to I freak out because I don't want to do anything that might annoy them. I'm very cautious and no longer assertive at all. It's a total wonder I got my last girlfriend (whom it was actually me who did ask her out), but I suppose she was the one I trusted because we were so similarly paranoid.

[Celtore 2,770]

I'm pretty quiet when it comes to talking to people I don't know, but I'm pretty bad when it comes to a large audience. I've developed a realistic persona or character role I can get into when I need to hide my anxiety in the middle of these situations. It prevents what I like to call "Fluttershy mode."

 

While splitting my personality into pieces is not the smartest idea, it still is a challenge to hold that image up. You have to not only act confident outwardly, but also inwardly. This shell is fragile and fluttershy mode can be activated in seconds if I break character for even a moment whether outwardly or in my thoughts. Thankfully, I only need to do this when speaking to large audience and I can speak with my friends confidently.

Edited December 3, 2012 by Celtore

[TailsIsNotAlone 3,695]

I have something like this, definitely. I'm never comfortable around people. I hate leaving my apartment and I don't go places with anyone who's not a family member. I say very little, and when I have to talk in person  there are a lot of awkward pauses. I'm so quiet that sometimes I make people jump when I walk up behind them, and they have trouble hearing me when I speak. I'm terribly sensitive to any criticism and am so afraid of conflict that I can't disagree with people or stand up for myself when they treat me badly. I worry about rejection and people hating me. I had a lot of bad experiences in grade school, and the expectations I developed then still control me now.

 

Basically I go around in a protective shell that no one can penetrate, not even me.

Edited December 5, 2012 by TailsAlone

[Lillian 11]

I'm not exactly "shy" unless I'm around some popular person, who could easily turn a lot of people against me or spread rumours, or in a crowd of people. I'm over confident when at home with family and on the internet, because I would be anonymous, I do admit. One person enters and I'm instantly the quiet Fluttershy. This all comes from pushing around people gave me when I just moved somewhere, when I was younger.

[Jghx5 33]

Same here mate.  I always never post on forums just because I'm scaried of the feed back.  I always have the balls to post reply though.  For me I like to just post and just forget about it for a day and then see what people have to say.  Also I think long and hard about what I have to say and try to find to a place to add a joke in it somewhere.  I hope I help a bit.

 

And now for something completely different that make you laugh and feel better.

 

Edited December 6, 2012 by Jghx5

[Retro*Derpy 3,185]

I have it pretty badly too. Blame myself and my parents for moving too much during my social development period.

I find it hard to make phone calls, and appointments are always awful. Hate being in groups too. Though it makes it that much harder to combat loneliness.

[Evil Pink One 13,506]

3 hours ago, Retro*Derpy said:

I have it pretty badly too. Blame myself and my parents for moving too much during my social development period.

I find it hard to make phone calls, and appointments are always awful. Hate being in groups too. Though it makes it that much harder to combat loneliness.

Hmm made me think... I also dont like calls... Id prefer texting someone too than talking to them...

[Splashee 28,564]

I used to be shy when I was a kid. So I know the feeling.

[EpicEnergy 23,218]

I've always been quiet around others, and I rarely do a lot of talking. I'm not really afraid of socializing though, I just don't do it.

[Savy 5,077]

I'm very quiet around others I don't know too well, and don't really do a lot of talking. Around my close friends though, I never seem to shut up. 

[TBD 17,254]

Despite of being an introverted person in my younger days I never been the quiet shy person. I was very open and a bit ‘wild’ not caring what people thinks or say about me and my rebellious side. As I gotten older I become more and more insecure due to getting restricted due to these structured societies we live in. Save the lecture about rules/laws and why they exist. Like everyday is like walking on broken glass in a large stage for people to see and waiting for me to fall off from the script. I grow up within a very uptight strict family- my time at school and outside family was the only way to take a breather from that. But now when I step outside that door from my family- it’s just the same. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing negative against with my family and the society… but every now and then reserving myself because of it suffocates me. “People say that’s what being adult is about.” If that was the only case, I wonder why bother living?

[Magic Note 2,748]

I can't shut up around my friends, but otherwise I'm not very social. I'm too weary of people I'm not familiar with because I'm always worried I'm going to make someone angry...

Edited April 7, 2023 by Magic Note

[Dreambiscuit 9,691]

Nope, can’t say I have any problem with social interaction. When I’m around people I tend to initiate conversations and I try to get others to open up as well. I became more outgoing as I grew older, and now there’s nothing to do but put a muzzle on me.

[ZiggWheelsManning 10,297]

I struggle with social interaction, even towards customers in the grocery store.  

[Cash In 22,313]

Yeah, I have a bit of it. I've gotten much better with it as I've gotten older though.

[Longhaul 6,868]

Considering it took me two days to reply to this thread, I would say I have a bit of social phobia.  I don't interact much with others, and when I do, it's for as short a time as possible.  Doesn't matter if it's in-person or online.

[Guest]

I consider myself more reserved when meeting someone at first, but then I quickly warm up to people once I see that they are okay.