Is there really someone out there that is 'your one'?

[Scootalove 10,684]

To be honest, finding someone that is the one for me could be difficult at first. But, it is possible for someone to find the one for them.

Edited April 6, 2014 by Scootalove

[Thunderchild 875]

I thought as you do when I was younger-currently I've been married to my best friend for 18 years. I had gotten to the point where I thought there was no-one for me, and that I would be alone-and I was kind of o.k with that-when I met her.

 

Somebody already said it-but the relationship is based on both of you putting the other one first. I know opposites attract and all-but if one of you is a giver and the other's a taker, it's probably not going to work out.

 

Trust is absolutely the most important aspect to a long term relationship. You have to be able to be completely vulnerable with each other-probably the hardest thing for me to learn how to do, but it can be learned. Even if the two of you love each other to the moon and back, there's still a lot of work to do to make the relationship work in the long term, and it starts with learning to trust.

 

For those of you who are waiting for the perfect person to come and make all your dreams come true, here's the thing. There's no such person for most of us. You are 2 halves of a team, who work together, have faults and idiosyncrasies that make the other want to scream sometimes, and who walk the road together. When one of you falls-and you will-the other picks them up and you continue on. Failure is not an option-neither is going on without the other. These are the commitments you make that last a lifetime. 

[NeedsMoreGoth 162]

I don't think there is such a thing as a soul mate. The whole point of love in mother nature's eyes is to carry on the species (spoken like a dumb human who believes he can understand the reasons of nature). But there is a possibility that you will find a person who will love you and who you will love forever. You really shouldn't rush love. You can only work on yourself while you go through life. I personally don't care if I find a girlfriend (of course since I'm 16) but I still get love from my family and friends. That said, I wish you luck with your love life!

[DubWolf 16,622]

Hello Roxy!

 

I'm sorry to hear that, I bet you're probably that one pretty, nice girl that lots of guys fall for, but can't remember how many ex's she's had cough, my ex). I could say a lot more, but I'm just going to say that you should try to be friends with someone rather than jump to a relationship. (I am implying a lot of things here). Maybe instead of getting hurt in a relationship since that person isn't who you thought they were, try to know them better. I'm single right now, but I think I know what I'm saying. If I implied anything wrong, just tell me.

[ghostfacekiller39 23,857]

I don't know anymore. I mean, I'm perfectly happy like I am now, to be honest, and I'm single, no wife, no kids (Thankfully, given I'm 17 )

 

I wouldn't mind being a life-long bachelor

 

However, you'll never find "the one" if you don't go out and look. You'll fail sometimes, I'm certain, but honestly, if you really meet "the one," don't you think it'll all be worth it in the end?

[Dattebayo 2,850]

Honestly... Yeah. Trial and error.. but that isn't just towards relationships, that's everything.

That sounds just awful...

 

x

[Troblems 5,609]

*zaps thread back to life*

I hate the term soulmate. It is SO cheesy. Looking at the numbers:

Let's assume there is one person for you out there. They are alive right now. As of 2012, it was estimated that 914,398,325 spoke English. That's a sizable number, but if you look at there being 7 billion people in the world, the likelihood of the two of you both speaking the same language is low at best. Now, most people admittedly prefer one gender to another, but that's still 3.5 billion people of whom you now must sift through to find your "one".

 

Let's also assume that there are as many people alive now as there have ever been, bringing the total up to 14 billion. What's the likelihood of that person already having lived? Or not being born in a timely fashion for the two of you to be together?

 

Basically aside from the unlikeliness of you finding "the one" it also assumes that you are incompatible with 7 billion people. I mean really. Come on. Come on. 

 

Does that mean I don't believe in love? Obviously not, since I'm married, and very happily so. I'm madly in love with my husband. However, I believe that there isn't just one person for everyone out there, but several someones. Hundreds, thousands if you look hard enough, and are truly interested in finding someone compatible for you. You just gotta keep searching until you find someone.

[zombienixon 330]

One person who was meant for me, and who'd spend the rest of their life with me...that poor woman, it sounds like a cruel fate.

[Ziggy + Angel + Rain 11,298]

I was inspired to write the following poem after perusing this thread:

 

Answered
by Siegfried Danzinger

Out beyond the ordinary
Out beyond the same
I somehow found the rest of me
Called to her, by name

I'm done; I've finished looking now
Start this life anew
Give myself to she who answered -
That is what I'll do

 

---

 

A "soul mate" is what - and who - you believe it to be.  You can't find her or him if you've already convinced yourself they don't exist.  I opened myself up and found the rest of me.

[Henny Penny Benny 936]

In response to the whole idea that you'd probably never meet “your one” because there are so many people in the world: the idea of “the one” is a lot more encouraging when you believe in an all-knowing God who, in His divine providence and inscrutable wisdom, has determined who “your one” is.

Edited January 26, 2015 by Henny Penny Benny

[Admiral Regulus 2,769]

1. Are you a sentient human female?

2. Are you of age?

3. Are you alive?

4. Do you like nerdy guys like me?

5. Are you interested in a long-term relationship?

 

If you answered yes to all of the following questions, get your ass over here right now and I'll love you forever.

 

I'm kidding... or am I?

 

Anyway, I don't believe there is a such thing as a soulmate. I believe that if any one person was willing to give me a chance, I would be more than happy to *make* that person my soulmate. I don't expect to find one person out of a million who is special. I expect some person to be willing to work to get to that point. It's not magic, it's conscious behavior.

 

People hide behind such language to avoid understanding their own roles in relationships. "Waiting for a soul mate" or "not finding the right person for me" is just an excuse to shortcut the fact that all relationships require work to maintain, and said person wasn't willing to put in that work. It's a pretty thing we tell ourselves when heartbreak strikes and things don't go like we plan.

 

Cynical? Maybe. But consider this. I understand that the success of a relationship is dependent upon both my and my partner's capacity to put in the work required to maintain any such relationship. A lot of people aren't willing to do that. I, however, am.

Edited January 26, 2015 by Admiral Regulus

[Justin_Case001 4,857]

I have to believe that there are many people out there who would be compatible with me, and that there's hope of me finding one.  Otherwise, I don't have much reason to go on living, honestly.  But that's just me.

 

 

@, I keep going back and forth over whether I should write this or not.  Obviously, I decided to go for it.  My concern is that, since your post in this thread is a little old, perhaps I'm just going to be opening old wounds.  I apologize if that's the case.

 

Your story made me cry.  I'm so sorry that that happened to you.  You know, there are many days when I feel like, even if I found everything I've ever wanted in life (and that's a VERY big if), I could never truly be happy, knowing that such evil exists.  Often times feel depressed all day, and have trouble ever feeling happy, just because I think about all of those who are treated the way you were, and how I wish I could help them.

 

I know that many people say it's wrong to wish harm on others, no matter how evil they may be, but I am not one of them.  I truly hope that the man from your story gets what he deserves, and what he deserves, I cannot write on these forums.

 

You know, I don't even know you, and I want to wrap my arms around you, hold you, comfort you, and shield you from all the evil in this world.  Maybe that sounds pretty strange, and I don't intend it in a way to imply that you're weak and need protecting.  Not at all.  In fact, you are a far, far stronger person than I.  This I know, without a doubt.  And I'm not fit to protect anyone, anyway.  It's just that whenever I hear of stories like yours, I feel an irresistable desire to help, and I desperately wish I could show you there are still some good people in the world, and that not all men are like that one.  But I'm sure you know that already.  I've never known anyone to go through something like you did, but I wish I could reach out to you, and others like you, and help.  (I'm crying again, now, and having trouble writing this.)  I'm guessing you're probably doing much better now.  I hope that's the case.  I hope you've been able to put all that behind you.  But even so, please know that you're in my thoughts, along with all those who suffer at the hands of evil.

 

And again, I hope I didn't just stir up horrible feelings and memories.  I just felt that I couldn't walk away without saying something.

Edited January 27, 2015 by Justin_Case001

[Moonbutt 87]

I'm pessimistic when it comes to love, so of course I don't think it will happen anytime soon. It's just random, someone gets a sudden desire to be with someone else.

 

There might be, but it's not likely they'll be where I live. Here where I live, almost everyone my age already has a partner, and I never see anyone my age doing things alone. It's either they're with their friends/family/partner. I'm just a loner, and I like to be alone. Nothing bad or wrong about it.

[VulpineTaco 525]

Nope.

That's the blunt truth. There is no "one."  Sure, you may meet a lifelong partner, but there's loads of other people out there who could have just as easily taken that spot. And if you think your current relationship is perfect, don't count on it, because relationships can end in the blink of an eye.

[KatonRyu 1,026]

The girl I'm with now shares almost no interests with me apart from fencing. We have next to nothing in common apart from a very twisted sense of humor. And yet, I couldn't imagine myself with anyone else. For me, she is 'the one', if there is something like that. Despite all our differences, or maybe even because of them, we're very happy with each other.

 

Finding someone who is that close to you isn't something that happens quickly, I think. Before she and I got together, we were close friends for a year, in which we both liked other people. Even so, the emotional bonds that a relationship needs to survive were made during that time. Most of our conversations took place online, on MSN (Windows Live Messenger? whatever) at the time. Now, we've been together for six years and still every bit as in love as we were then.

 

I think it's possible to find someone who is 'the one' for you, but I also think you shouldn't make it your sole priority in life. For neither my girlfriend nor myself having a relationship was our top priority. It just sort of happened, evolved from what we had already built. I'd say, seek a deep friendship and if an attraction is there, there's always time to take it to the next level. In any case, just take your time and don't worry too much about it.

[Lucky Bolt 34,915]

I don;t believe in the word "soul mate" because I believe there's more than one person out there for you. You'll just meet them at different points in your life. And I'm not just talking about a bf/gf here.  

[Splashee 28,537]

On 4/6/2014 at 6:34 AM, Celestial Wish said:

I've been through a lot of painful relationships, and each time I always had a positive outlook. Hoping that one day I could settle down. I didn't like the concept of taking it day by day, but I realized it was because I was tired of the uncertain.

 

Now I'm single and feel that there truly isn't someone out there who will accept me completely. 

 

I have such high dreams of getting married (and staying married), having kids, and so forth...

 

For some reason though, I'm beginning to feel that... THAT kind of life wasn't meant to be for me. 

 

 

Is there truly such a thing as a soul mate?

Last visited: June 23, 2014

I hope you found someone!

 

I was your soul mate. You even joined this forum on my birthday!

 

 

 

Well to be honest, there is no one that can truly be a perfect match. You can get close to perfect, but there will always be issues here and there. You can never have a relationship without compromises and fights. If you manage to get someone who doesn't speak up, and you think you are happy, and everything is fine, then that is a warning sign that something isn't right! You are probably breathing the other person's air. You must always be willing to communicate with your gf/bf/wife/husband everything relevant to the relationship, and keep nothing hidden, and that might not be the thing you want or was dreaming about, but that's what it takes to keep things working.

[Early Sunsets 2,106]

Nope!                                                   

[Splashee 28,537]

3 minutes ago, Booker said:

Nope!                                                   

Yezzz

 

[Thuja 3,658]

With there being over 7 billion people on this planet, I'd say there wouldn't simply be "the one" there'd probably be plenty of "The one"'s.  Sometimes those people's love will burn out quickly, other times it might last longer than you thought.  Sometimes, you might think someone is "The One" and realize they aren't for you.  It happens.

[daviddaviddavid 772]

I believe so. They're the best.

[DubWolf 16,622]

I'm sure there's many people fit for each person. Just a matter of the circumstances, compatibility.. and timing more than anything. Also being alive helps.

[Dreambiscuit 8,024]

I do believe the right person is out there for everyone. When and where that person may show up or cross paths with their proper match can be exasperatingly vague, but I think it’ll happen when it’s ultimately meant to happen. People aren’t just matched at random; mutual interests, circumstances and even physical aspects and body language are designed to give clues you’re on the right track. That’s why we have ‘types.’ I don’t think it’s just a simple roll of the dice, even if circumstances make it seem that way. 

[碇 シンジン 27,427]

Yeah sure, finding that one is another thing on itself though

[Here No Longer 5,270]

I'm of the belief there's actually more than one person for pretty much everyone that could be their "one." Problem is just finding them. I mean it's much easier if you're straight or bisexual, but even us homos can find somebody for us. I mean I did, and I live in one of the most difficult places in the country for our kind. What's that say about holding on hope?

 

Also, to get my point across, I actually had to turn down a couple of offers from girls before, simply because I just have no interest of that kind in women. And if I did, I know a girl I'd be in love with in my real life, but just not know how to express it.  Of course, I'm not saying who that would be, because it would be extremely awkward for a variety of reasons. Though I think I may actually be... a little into her in some ways (she's part of what's making me think I may have a slight interest in the opposite sex). I think she's pretty much the kind of girl I'd "go straight for" if you know what I mean (If only she knew how gorgeous she is)...  

 

But that's all beside the point. Yes, I do believe everyone actually has multiple people out there waiting for somebody like them. It's just a matter of finding them, and being with them, and depending on your orientation it may be harder for you than it would be for others.