Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Prospekt 11,028]

"Spray the f**k out of it, mighty hunter"

[Lucky Bolt 35,110]

*laughing* "I'm gonna go over this speed bump and be a frickin pimp. Watch."

[Here No Longer 5,282]

"I'm sure your package loves me LONG time too!"

 

I think the context is obvious.

[Prospekt 11,028]

"He promised he would kidnap me."

Not from me but instead a random group of girls that walked past me in the store earlier. 

[Samurai Equine 53,761]

That massage chair shouldn't have ruined your back as badly as it did. At worst, it should have just felt weird to sit in.

[Tropical Melody 6,997]

He had been turned off animal documentaries on television because they always gave animals pet names, for example, 'Here comes Betty', and onto the screen limps an antelope, say, which has been rejected by the herd, and ten to one it is going to be eaten before the end of the program by some other creature that he cynically believed the film makers had let out of a cage to speed up the process. 

 

[TigerGeekGuy 4,664]

"KFC is making a game where you can date Colonel Sanders. No, this isn't a joke."

[Tropical Melody 6,997]

"How do you think a Bikini would look on me?"

"Like two rubber bands on an egg"

 

[Emerald Heart 25,006]

"Can I do whatever I want with it while eating chocolate?"

[Lucky Bolt 35,110]

“She’s got one hell of a sugar shaker that’s for damn sure.” 

[Denim&Venöm 19,978]

"The funeral kazoo!"

Drowns out sobs and wails!

Better than bag pipes!"  

[Samurai Equine 53,761]

Well, if it isn't Cam Calloway and Daniel Day-Lewis!

[cuteycindyhoney 13,324]

"Why did you throw a water bottle in the bathroom trashcan? Did you forget how to recycle?"

(Pet peeve of mine. I am not Queen Recycle!)

[Tropical Melody 6,997]

"Is it technically illegal to, like, kidnap someone?"
"Yes."
"No no, like, not for money, just to make them love me."
"STILL YES!"

 

[Denim&Venöm 19,978]

"And we share like 80% of our DNA with banana peels. What's your fking point!?" 

[Early Sunsets 2,108]

"I made the stars to illuminate the perpetual nothing, and mortals use them for... relationship advice."

[Samurai Equine 53,761]

I forgot why I don't eat here very often. Then I took a bite of the food, and I remembered why. ...SALTY! 

[Lucky Bolt 35,110]

"Do you have a sister?" 

"Yeah why?" 

"You look like someone I know...also kinda cute." 

[TheRockARooster 53,193]

“You’re so full of crap that your eyes are turning brown.”

 

On 9/23/2019 at 6:16 AM, Lucky Bolt said:

“She’s got one hell of a sugar shaker that’s for damn sure.” 

I’m really curious to know, what’s a sugar shaker mean besides something for shaking sugar?

[Randimaxis 8,659]

"Don't you stifle my creativity - I have a degree in WTF, and I plan to use it all over the front yard!"

[Tropical Melody 6,997]

6 hours ago, TheRockARooster said:

I’m really curious to know, what’s a sugar shaker mean besides something for shaking sugar?

According to Urban Dictionary, a cute female ass

(Yes I had to look it up!)

 

[Tropical Melody 6,997]

"Nine out of ten scientists agree. The other is busy knocking things off a desk for no good reason."

 

[CypherHoof 26,483]

39 minutes ago, Tropical Melody said:

According to Urban Dictionary, a cute female ass

(Yes I had to look it up!)

 

Does it bring all the boys to the yard?

[Samurai Equine 53,761]

The weird part is, despite all this bad stuff happening, it played out like a romantic drama. I was only there to be the comedy relief, I guess.

[Early Sunsets 2,108]

"God may judge you, but remember that his sins outnumber your own."