Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Mirage 24,774]

"Wait, I get the small one and you get the big one?"

[Pandora 38,124]

"let's keep positive"

[Denim&Venöm 19,980]

"The payoff, somehow, disappointed my already very low expectations!" 

[Cagey 4,251]

“I don’t think Barbie has as much blood and gore as this.” 

[Denim&Venöm 19,980]

"Random woman reaches into her purse and pulls out one of those bridal planning books that's covered in hand writing that looks way too cute to belong to someone who looks like she was old enough to get railed behind a gas station during the Cuban missile crisis." 

[Samurai Equine 53,776]

Maybe I'll just make a submarine sandwich out of it, then! 

*After the food has been cooked...*

Oh, it's soupy. Well, so much for making a sandwich out of this... 

[Samurai Equine 53,776]

I'm not really in the mood for pancakes... Oh! I know! I'll make waffles! I've got the griddle for it and everything. 

*Eating the waffles* ...Huh. Tastes like pancakes. 

[Treeglow Flicker 14,074]

Oh the sun's up. When the heck did that happen?

[Tropical Melody 7,000]

It's all fun and games being a gobshite until your daughter grows up and gets messed about by someone like you...

 

[Emerald Heart 25,006]

"So you're saying that in order for me to pass Math, I have to sacrifice a goat?"

"I'm not saying you have to, just make sure to keep that option on the menu."

[Samurai Equine 53,776]

Stop going off, you stupid notifications! I'm trying to get caught up on everything! Just give me a breather for like FIVE seconds! SHEESH! 

[ExplosionMare 18,132]

You stepped on her Skittle tears

[Lucky Bolt 35,110]

“Get your big dirty butt off my pillow!” 

[Tropical Melody 7,000]

You mean I've got to drill an 8mm hole just for that tiny sodding little grommet? Feck me.

 

[Kronos the Revenant 1,971]

Okay, now we grab my ass. No not your ass. No....I wanna fuck the egg. It’s like it’s your first time doing it. Come on, get it in. JUST GET IT IN!!!! LET ME FUCK THE EGG!!!

[Here No Longer 5,282]

"Look at the snake as it grows bigger and wets the pants."

[Samurai Equine 53,776]

Wait, when did my local theater start playing anime movies?! And DUBBED too?!  I have to see this!

[TigerGeekGuy 4,664]

Not today, actually from two days ago:

"So what you're telling me is that people are deliberately paying for pants that already have holes in them and are not from a hand-me-down store?"

"Yes."

"...yeah, that makes sense."

[Tropical Melody 7,000]

"Oh fucking bugger me is it feeding time again, Isaac? It's only been like five minutes since you last had something to eat."

 

[Emerald Heart 25,006]

"SCI-EN-TIF-I-CAL!"

[Treeglow Flicker 14,074]

Us youkai don't suffer the coranavirus. The coranavirus suffers us!

[Samurai Equine 53,776]

Huh. Kombucha! I've been meaning to try that. But there's a lot of flavors to choose from... I guess I'll go with this Guava Synergy flavor. What's the worse that could happen?  *Tries it* ... Oh! Ugh.  Nope. Not for me. This stink-a-poopoo!

[Tropical Melody 7,000]

"The least concentrated area of human sweat glands is on the back."

 

[Emerald Heart 25,006]

"It's a mathematical mustache!" 

[Cash In 22,811]

"Looks like we're going to need to stock up on toilet paper."