Post A Quote From Your Day, Without Any Context.

[Here No Longer 5,287]

"Cast your burning gaze to thine h-oh!"

[Tropical Melody 8,429]

"That's the last time I'll have to cut sock."

 

[Samurai Equine 57,091]

You don't put a bag of cookies in front of a man that hasn't had dinner yet, and then tell him not to eat too much. 

[Here No Longer 5,287]

"NUT BAR."

"Dang it I thought this was supposed to be 'no-nut November.' Ehh, whatever, it's a sucky tradition anyways. Sex is just too fun."

Edited November 28, 2019 by Ayyngel Dust

[Denim&Venöm 21,231]

"When that LSD hit, he became a hero." 

[Tropical Melody 8,429]

"She may very well pass for forty-three, in the dusk with a light behind her!"

 

[ExplosionMare 26,531]

Can I put this in my mouth?

[Cagey 4,261]

“I’ll rip out your elbows.”

[ShadOBabe 19,058]

“Just dip it in E. coli”

[Denim&Venöm 21,231]

"If Hulk Hogan doesn't have skin cancer, skin cancer ain't real."

[ridaranka 575]

"Abraham Lincoln once said that if you’re a racist, I will attack you with the North"

[Lucky Bolt 35,249]

“You wanna have a snowball fight....with CONDOMS?!? ..........oh it is so on” 

[TheRockARockster 55,265]

Get extra MSG.

4 minutes ago, Lucky Bolt said:

“You wanna have a snowball fight....with CONDOMS?!? ..........oh it is so on” 

WTF?!

[Tropical Melody 8,429]

"Bear Grylls will be on the show – I was texting him, and he said, 'I'm doing a new show' – I can't remember the exact words but 'I'm doing a new show where I parachute naked into a friend's garden and have to survive for a week, can I use yours? Please remove anything sharp, e.g. rake stroke swingball, and is there a hose I can wash with, or just a bird bath for my bits? Is that OK? Next Thursday afternoon?'"

 

[Treeglow Flicker 14,500]

He looks like a microwaved He-Man action figure wearing a suit.

[Samurai Equine 57,091]

Go to bed with a food coma, wake up with the worst food headache ever.
...Is this what it's like to be hung over? 

[ExplosionMare 26,531]

KABOOSH!!

[Denim&Venöm 21,231]

"You're really campaigning for 'Bitch of the Year' aren't you?" 

"As defending champion, you nervous?" 

[PiratePony 8,496]

Is this Purple Rain?

Yes.

[Denim&Venöm 21,231]

"The Skeleton That Stood On Top Of A Van And Then Waved At A Bird And Stole A Traffic Cone.

#1 New York Times Best Seller"                          

 

[Tropical Melody 8,429]

"Had an interview this morning – I start tomorrow – panic over. Luckily no-one from 'Human Resources' was there to balls it up"

 

[Denim&Venöm 21,231]

"My leg was shaking, and my dog and I could barley speak for a minute afterwords." 

[Emerald Heart 25,313]

"Mom, Dad just said I was a baby donkey and then he said I was a burrito."

[Samurai Equine 57,091]

"Are you absolutely serious about coming back? I have no objection to it, but in the past, you kind of strung me and the followers along. I made update posts for everyone to see, saying that you were going to take over. And when you backed out that, I had to give the followers the bad news."

(Turns out, they weren't serious about returning after all...)

[Here No Longer 5,287]

"... and that's why you don't crash into cop cars. That will happen."