Fluttershutter

Is it okay for guys to ask girls out?

Is it okay for guys to ask girls out?  

29 members have voted

  1. 1. Is it okay for guys to ask girls out?

    • yes
      29
    • no
      0


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Never done it but I'd probably get pepper sprayed. :P

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1 hour ago, Fluttershutter said:

Never done it but I'd probably get pepper sprayed. :P

Obviously there are times it is and times it isn't - we need a bit more context.

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Yes. If girls can do whatever they want, then so can guys. Do whatever you want to.

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It's not only OK, it's generally expected. This is, of course, stupid and sexist, but it has been a feature of the western world for a while now.

Personally, I find a woman making the first move is super attractive. I hope to see more of it as time goes by.

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1 hour ago, Latecomer said:

Obviously there are times it is and times it isn't - we need a bit more context.

Just made an opposite thread for fun.

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Maybe I'm applying a double standard but I think there might be more pressure put on guys when it comes to this sort of thing? Potentially more to lose if things go wrong but I have no experience with this and also understand that a girl's self esteem can just as easilly be crushed by getting turned down,,, Is that why they call it a crush, out of the fear of things going wrong? Anyways, that expectation for men to ask feels like a burden if you ask me, and unfortunately this modern era has seen a shift in what is and isn't appropriate. If you don't have a group of people you regularly mingle with that has options or includes mutual friends often that could be optional, then I don't know how you're supposed to go about dating.

I've only had the one girlfriend and we knew each other for 2 years before going out on a few dates and then making things official. That relationship is still going on very strong. Maybe we would've dated sooner, but she was my manager prior and we hadn't gone out till after she left that job. She took the initial step of asking me if I wanted to go somewhere together, and when it was absolutely clear we were into each other via a natural cuddle session, I asked her to be my girlfriend. Had she not taken the first step though, I don't know where either of us would be right now.

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10 minutes ago, SharpWit said:

Maybe I'm applying a double standard but I think there might be more pressure put on guys when it comes to this sort of thing? Potentially more to lose if things go wrong but I have no experience with this and also understand that a girl's self esteem can just as easilly be crushed by getting turned down,,, Is that why they call it a crush, out of the fear of things going wrong? Anyways, that expectation for men to ask feels like a burden if you ask me, and unfortunately this modern era has seen a shift in what is and isn't appropriate. If you don't have a group of people you regularly mingle with that has options or includes mutual friends often that could be optional, then I don't know how you're supposed to go about dating.

Well, there's a reason why it became an expectation, and it has nothing to do with 'male patriarchy'. It's a very clear, and not so simple, biological fact that a woman, in the reproductive act, stand to lose far more than a man. Women bare children, and this is an extremely important consideration for a woman. Since women have been baring children for eons, and we all see everyday the absolute importance of child raising and giving birth and everything that a woman needs to accomplish it successfully, that they tend to be choosy about their mate. The first step is to be approached by a man that is at least brave enough to talk to her and take some risk for her.

 

I mean think about it - if a man doesn't have the balls to risk talking to her, how will he behave if she gets pregnant? Will he be brave enough to support her and care for her when she is at her most vulnerable? Will he be brave enough to work hard and succeed? Will he protect her and their home? Sure, maybe it isn't at the top of a girl's mind when she's looking for a partner, but it is indeed in the back of her mind. It doesn't matter what social pressures certain schools of though force into society - it doesn't change the reality of sex and children - a woman's life can be totally destroyed by a punk ass guy, especially those who conceal their total lack of responsibility and utility.

So you can believe what you want, but there are deeply intrinsic natural forces at work as well, and they shouldn't just be ignored.

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Yes. Generally women like it when a man takes initiative. Don’t be creepy about it and be aware of social cues. 99% of the time you can tell if someone is interested in you romantically. 

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1 hour ago, Twiggy said:

be aware of social cues. 99% of the time you can tell if someone is interested in you romantically. 

Lol and i prob fail at reading every single one of them! :blush:

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(edited)

It's okay, but I don't know if it works. I don't have a working solution. :huh:

 

I read it wrong. Of course it is okay for guys to ask girls out. I was thinking the other way around.

Edited by Splashee

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@Mirage They're a minority thankfully, but I feel like a punk ass guy will approach more women than any other.

Ultimately, I think an effort for initiation should be made by both partners in some fashion, but my girlfriend and I are also rather cautious individuals so maybe we're not an ideal example.

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Who ever wants to do it can do it. The only that somewhat determines who can and can't ask someone else out is bravery, and even then a super cowardly person can still work up the courage.

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(edited)

Lol, this is the opposite of that other thread

 

It's what is expected by society, society wants men to ask women because men are supposed to be strong, confident, and not fear anything. This is untrue. I personally think each gender should be treated and the same. I hate it when some one says guys cant do something or when girls cant do something. 

Edited by Muffinnz

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Well, I'm waiting for a bunch of girls to ask me out.

Girls?

Ask me out. Go ahead and just do it. Come on, don't be shy. It's time to step up and take what you want.

I know how to bake, cook, build a house, write novels, run a business, draw, stand up comedy and I can make cool paper airplanes.

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Yeah I think it’s more than ok.....I’ve never been one to ask a guy out I’d rather HIM ask ME out. I’m too shy. :twismile:

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Yes. I’m not sure why this wouldn’t be acceptable.

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Of course it's okay! I mean, someone's gotta make the first move and, let's face it, most girls won't do it. If I had to make the first move I'd probably chicken out and lament my cowardice for years to come. But if a guy asked me, well, that would be so much easier. If everyone plays fair and gives the person they're dealing with the proper notes of encouragement or discouragement before anyone commits to making a move, it would save both sides a lot of pain and emotional discomfort. Just keep the communication open and honest. 

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context is always key, but generally yes

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If the way you'd go about it would get you pepper sprayed, then you need to have a long sit down and think about the way you're going about it. We won't pepper spray someone just for asking us out. However, if you're being a stalker, not taking no for an answer, touching us without our consent, etc. then you might get less passive negative reactions, and those are only natural responses since those are threatening behaviors.

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(edited)
3 hours ago, Envy said:

If the way you'd go about it would get you pepper sprayed, then you need to have a long sit down and think about the way you're going about it. We won't pepper spray someone just for asking us out. However, if you're being a stalker, not taking no for an answer, touching us without our consent, etc. then you might get less passive negative reactions, and those are only natural responses since those are threatening behaviors.

Isn't this the correct way to ask someone out?

 

Edited by Fluttershutter

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(edited)

Of course it's okay; anyone can ask out anyone. As long as you're respectful of the other person there really shouldn't be a problem either way.

 

Edited by SparklingSwirls

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While I don't want to blackpaint and it is likely not the norm you will encounter, when I was at the end of my teen years or something I had a girl or woman roughly at my age or a bit younger yelled at me for being at the same side of the street as her or looking into her direction. Some people really can't be helped...:worry:

I actually didn't even look at her precisely, or did anything with intention, lol.

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Of course it is. I'm pretty sure that's the way it normally goes. But either way is perfectly fine, there's no reason for double standards.

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It's definently more socially acceptable to the public, while girls are still ridiculed for asking a guy out.

There's nothing wrong with either of course

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